Sometimes I'm a bit slow in the thinking. When we were at our first midwife appointment last Tuesday, an interesting and new experience was the search for the heart beat, as this was the first time I wasn't having an ultrasound at the same time (TW) where they get in position first so the heartbeat is already there when the doppler part of it is turned on.
Twas interesting here, because first of all, she searched from the top of the uterus, not the front - not that I had given it much thought, but I guess all times I have seen it done on TV it has always been from the front.
Then, as it was taking a while, an almost not quite panic started to rise in me. She finally found a beat that was quite slow, and I thought to myself 'that's mine' and was surprised and relieved when she said it was the heart beat (blood flow) through the umbilical cord, which meant there was life. Then a bit after she caught baby's actual heartbeat - ranging between 130-150.
Wasn't until tonight I started thinking about it. If my blood doesn't interact with baby's then it is baby's blood in the cord and should follow the baby's heartbeat, so the cord having the same rhythm as mine doesn't add up. Googled a bit and came across this lovely write-up, confirming my suspicion.
I'm 99% sure I don't remember it wrong, that it wasn't actually more swoosh swoosh and not necessarily as slow as my own.
Gives me just a bit more inspiration to switch to the home-birth team or another midwife in general. Am hoping for some insider tips on who's not one really good in her field but also just makes you feel good being around her (you know the kind of person I mean), and hoping even more that one or all of the three on the home-birth team are on that list ;)
Oh, and forgot to mention the mystery of why my doctor set my due-date as May 31 when 40 weeks from the first day of my last menstrual cycle is the 29th: in Norway they use 40W+2D as the date, not just 40W. Whoda thunk?
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Sunday, December 23, 2012
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
the name game
So officially I will not be looking for a name until after we find out if we are having a boy or a girl (if baby is cooperative), because name-searching is a difficult task for me.
For example, for a boy-name, our two previously selected possibles are now non-contenders. Not just because our friends chose both for their son (unbeknownst to them that those were our two future possibles), but because the one is too difficult for Judge to pronounce - if it is said in English the 'th' is tricky, and if it is said in Norwegian the 'r' is tricky (the name being Theodor).
Another example of the difficulties I face. I had come across a girl's name I thought 'nice! A definite possible.' Said it later to Judge, and got a firm 'absolutely not'. Reason being in Taiwan it will sound very much like the Taiwanese for 'your mother', which sounds nice enough, but is used in part - and in short-form - for some serious cussing. Another reason not to pick it (in my eyes) is I found out later that it is one of the top 10 most popular names right now. What is this mystery name you ask? Linnea. Pretty no?
However, I have actually landed on a strong contender if she's a girl. Landed on it by fluke, and though not 100% sold yet, just like I wasn't 100% sold on the name Leona to begin with, I believe I would be sold on it in time.
What's so awesome about this name is not only is it nice sounding (same kind of nice sounding as Leona in my personal opinion), but its meanings are pretty impressively perfect.
In one of the languages it comes from, its meaning is 'God has responded' - and considering this is a tried-for baby, not to mention our little 11th hour wonder! - it seems pretty fitting.
In another language its meaning is 'sunshine' or 'light', and considering where we are and the time of year baby will be born - a time when the sun don't go down - it is once again oh-so fitting.
If he's a boy, well let the search begin!
For the Chinese name, we already have it:
Confused? The above can be read downard, where be she a girl it is 雨安 or be he a boy it is 宇安. This of course dependent upon it being calculated as acceptable by Judge's dad.
What's really cool is that the first character is pronounced the same for both (yu3), where if she's a girl, it is the same character as Leona's first character (rain - used only in girl-names) and if he's a boy it is masculine (universe).
The second character is pronounced 'an1' and means peace. But here's the clincher: when the kids are being rambuncious and rowdy (and we know this is for certain something that will occur often) Judge can just call out the names together, excluding the first character (so 'an1' and Leona's second character - 靜 jing4), as this just so happens to mean 'Quiet'. Pretty convenient if you ask me!
But really, we like that there is a relatedness between the names of the kids. So finger's crossed that the calculations turn out good.
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For example, for a boy-name, our two previously selected possibles are now non-contenders. Not just because our friends chose both for their son (unbeknownst to them that those were our two future possibles), but because the one is too difficult for Judge to pronounce - if it is said in English the 'th' is tricky, and if it is said in Norwegian the 'r' is tricky (the name being Theodor).
Another example of the difficulties I face. I had come across a girl's name I thought 'nice! A definite possible.' Said it later to Judge, and got a firm 'absolutely not'. Reason being in Taiwan it will sound very much like the Taiwanese for 'your mother', which sounds nice enough, but is used in part - and in short-form - for some serious cussing. Another reason not to pick it (in my eyes) is I found out later that it is one of the top 10 most popular names right now. What is this mystery name you ask? Linnea. Pretty no?
However, I have actually landed on a strong contender if she's a girl. Landed on it by fluke, and though not 100% sold yet, just like I wasn't 100% sold on the name Leona to begin with, I believe I would be sold on it in time.
What's so awesome about this name is not only is it nice sounding (same kind of nice sounding as Leona in my personal opinion), but its meanings are pretty impressively perfect.
In one of the languages it comes from, its meaning is 'God has responded' - and considering this is a tried-for baby, not to mention our little 11th hour wonder! - it seems pretty fitting.
In another language its meaning is 'sunshine' or 'light', and considering where we are and the time of year baby will be born - a time when the sun don't go down - it is once again oh-so fitting.
If he's a boy, well let the search begin!
For the Chinese name, we already have it:
What's really cool is that the first character is pronounced the same for both (yu3), where if she's a girl, it is the same character as Leona's first character (rain - used only in girl-names) and if he's a boy it is masculine (universe).
The second character is pronounced 'an1' and means peace. But here's the clincher: when the kids are being rambuncious and rowdy (and we know this is for certain something that will occur often) Judge can just call out the names together, excluding the first character (so 'an1' and Leona's second character - 靜 jing4), as this just so happens to mean 'Quiet'. Pretty convenient if you ask me!
But really, we like that there is a relatedness between the names of the kids. So finger's crossed that the calculations turn out good.
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first midwife appointment
Yesterday we headed out into the pitch black late-morning for our first midwife appointment.
The standard checks were made, and then some chit-chat - appointments are scheduled to last a whole half hour.
The questions I had lined up for her were 1) What are the birthing facilities like at the hospital? 2) Anything I can do for my ligament-pain (already researched answers but just curious what she would say) and 3) I am still nursing Leona. I know my milk supply and content is changing - is there anything specifically I should keep in mind (also already researched but again curious).
I was pleasantly surprised about her answer to Q1, as three out of the four LDRs have birthing tubs - so the plan is still on for a look-see when we head up for the ultrasound in two weeks.
And for Q3 I was a bit disappointed. Her response was she encouraged me to consider weaning due to the dangers nursing during pregnancy holds, and that the milk's nutrients for Leona are changing away and readying itself for the new baby.
Overall I felt OK comfortable with her, but since we (I) am still keeping the thought of perhaps having a home-birth in the back of my head, I am thinking of perhaps asking to be switched to one of the midwives on the home-birth team, just so I can become familiar with them and discuss all options fully (that is if they also do hospital deliveries).
Next check-up (excluding the ultrasound) isn't until mid-Feb, so we will just have that one done in Taiwan - that's two months away. Still kind of strange for me that by then I will be 24 weeks along, and yet it will just be my third check-up.
The best bit about the whole visit was finally getting to hear itty-bitty's heart-beat! What a glorious sound that was.
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The standard checks were made, and then some chit-chat - appointments are scheduled to last a whole half hour.
The questions I had lined up for her were 1) What are the birthing facilities like at the hospital? 2) Anything I can do for my ligament-pain (already researched answers but just curious what she would say) and 3) I am still nursing Leona. I know my milk supply and content is changing - is there anything specifically I should keep in mind (also already researched but again curious).
I was pleasantly surprised about her answer to Q1, as three out of the four LDRs have birthing tubs - so the plan is still on for a look-see when we head up for the ultrasound in two weeks.
And for Q3 I was a bit disappointed. Her response was she encouraged me to consider weaning due to the dangers nursing during pregnancy holds, and that the milk's nutrients for Leona are changing away and readying itself for the new baby.
Overall I felt OK comfortable with her, but since we (I) am still keeping the thought of perhaps having a home-birth in the back of my head, I am thinking of perhaps asking to be switched to one of the midwives on the home-birth team, just so I can become familiar with them and discuss all options fully (that is if they also do hospital deliveries).
Next check-up (excluding the ultrasound) isn't until mid-Feb, so we will just have that one done in Taiwan - that's two months away. Still kind of strange for me that by then I will be 24 weeks along, and yet it will just be my third check-up.
The best bit about the whole visit was finally getting to hear itty-bitty's heart-beat! What a glorious sound that was.
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Sunday, December 9, 2012
weekend round-up
First off: on Tuesday we got (drum-roll please) Judge's joining family resident visa in the mail! That's right folks, not only did the process go beyond lightning quick (in visa-processing terms, and even more so in Norwegian government paper-terms), but the lady who had called me the preceding Friday had found a loop-hole I had not thought of that made it all follow the letter of the law. Thank goodness for good people, as she could just have easily rejected our application. The loop-hole: "Requirement for previous earnings was dropped as the sponsor (me) had extended her stay in Taiwan after completing her studies in order to marry and give birth" (if you were a student the preceding year you are exempt from the previous earnings' requirement). Though not technically how I was thinking it at the time, it is in effect true, and we most definitely accept her analysis of the situation (!). So that also means: Hello Taiwan in February :D
In potty-news: After a week of consistently keeping Leona diaper-free during non-excursions and non-sleeps, there is most definitely improvement in the pee-department. Yay! I realized, though, that saying we're 'potty training' may be a bit of a stretch, seeing as she still wears a diaper as much as she does, so really perhaps we have just kicked up the ECing to another level. In any event, once we feel comfortable with the at-home situation we will expand it to out-of-house as well, and then nap, and lastly night sleeps.
And in other-baby news, I still feel junk most days when we get to around noon and onward, though not near as bad as before. So that is good! I can now more actively play/help with Leona, and can even help with the dishes sometimes.
I'm also on various hunts, some of which have already been successfully completed. For example:
Lastly, yesterday we headed over to my mom's co-worker's home for a lovely noon visit (she has two girls around 8 and 11 - I think, who really like Leona). So I got Leona all dressed up, 2nd time ever since we got to Norway (1st time was 17th of May):
In potty-news: After a week of consistently keeping Leona diaper-free during non-excursions and non-sleeps, there is most definitely improvement in the pee-department. Yay! I realized, though, that saying we're 'potty training' may be a bit of a stretch, seeing as she still wears a diaper as much as she does, so really perhaps we have just kicked up the ECing to another level. In any event, once we feel comfortable with the at-home situation we will expand it to out-of-house as well, and then nap, and lastly night sleeps.
And in other-baby news, I still feel junk most days when we get to around noon and onward, though not near as bad as before. So that is good! I can now more actively play/help with Leona, and can even help with the dishes sometimes.
I'm also on various hunts, some of which have already been successfully completed. For example:
- baby carrier - got a 2nd hand sand-colored manduca (the color being better for sunny Taiwan days - and the 2nd hand meaning we can eat two *fantastically delicious* dinners in Taiwan on the savings)
- 2nd (*not* hand) car seat - got a maxi-cosi mobi that is rear-facing from 9-25 kg (so awesome!)
- Funny story that. After purchasing it online I had forwarded the purchase confirmation to my mom with the following email (in full):
- So we've bought a rear-facing car-seat for Leona that's good from 9-25kg, so 'mini' can use the one Leona has now :) We will be trying to bring the new one to TW this time so that she can sit rear-facing while we're there, and then we'll take the little one we have in TW back to Norway for mini to use while we're here, then just bring Leona's current one to TW in the fall. That's the plan at least ;)
- Got an email back from Jollyroom's customer service: Hi Johanna. That's great! Feel free to contact us if you have any questions.
- Oooooops, I guess that was 'reply' not 'forward'.
- double stroller - am thinking I will wait until we're in Taiwan, as it will be cheaper there, and more size-appropriate (in terms of walking down the street or through stores). I do think it most definitely will be necessary when we live in China, though I may just even wait until we've been there a month or so to really get a feel for our needs
Lastly, yesterday we headed over to my mom's co-worker's home for a lovely noon visit (she has two girls around 8 and 11 - I think, who really like Leona). So I got Leona all dressed up, 2nd time ever since we got to Norway (1st time was 17th of May):
[She is such a ham when she fake-talks on the phone]
[Note she only gets to use Judge's phone, which is a good ol' Nokia, not smart-kind at all, yet she can act as enraptured in it as we are in our screens]
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Monday, December 3, 2012
3-day potty training
There is the golden window for potty training toddlers - between 18 and 22 months old (or so the saying goes). The reason this timeframe is so ideal is that the younguns are mobile and communicative enough to be able to take charge of the process, or at least fully participate, while yet young enough to be mostly happy to listen to you - not as strong-willed as a 2.5 or 3 year old.
Now, because we've been ECing Leona - with varying intensity and 'success' - since she was 2.5 months old, she's also already quite aware and communicative when she wishes to be.
And truth be told I've been wanting to potty train her for quite a while now (ok, I admit, I had hoped she'd be diaper free - and consistently miss free - before she turned 1, but that fell by the way-side), but since Judge is the one at home with her during the days I've not really brought it up as it would require some attention and effort/follow-up on his part.
However, last weekend I mentioned my desire to try potty training her - as well as the golden window bit, and Judge's response was: Why didn't you mention [the golden window] before? Let's do it!
So since I'm still on 40% sick-leave, where I stay home on Friday's, we decided to use this 3-day weekend to try the 3-day potty training method.
Actually, all we did was tell her she won't be wearing a diaper during the day any more (except for during her nap for now still), and took her diaper off when she woke up, and asked her to let us know when she had to pee or poop.
I also tried to feed her as much water as she happily would drink, and tried to be close to her most of the time and very aware of her...without hoovering and asking her every five min if she had to pee. But other than that we didn't do anything special (the 'real' 3-day potty training method has lots of tricks up its sleeves).
To be honest I was a bit apprehensive about trying this, because a couple days before The Weekend we had taken her diaper off a bit before her bath, and both times she had peed on the bed without any show of being aware of it. But by postponing it her awareness of herself would just diminish, not improve, so figured 'let's do it!' was the right idea.
So this is how the weekend went.
Friday: She had her second wake - and diaper removal - at 9. By 11 o'clock I had changed her pants four times. By bedtime that evening we'd had a kazillion pant-changes with a track-record of 100% non-communication about the pees (but 100% [1x] number two in the toilet).
At first I thought she really had totally lost touch with herself due to the diaper soaking it up so well, but then I realized it wasn't fully that, as she would run into the bedroom, happily yell bye-bye, close the door, and a few seconds later open it with her happy 'here I am!' face...and I notice she just peed. She did this three times. She would also sit down on the couch and be still for a moment, and yes, have peed (twice). And more.
I was ready to give up for this try, thinking maybe because my milk has lessened that she is feeling insecure or something, and thus it not be an ideal time to potty train.
But then I figured I would tough it out these three days.
So Saturday: diaper off at 9 again, peed on the potty. Peed again on the potty at around 12 (! now that was a long wait compared with yesterday...and no misses in between), and so on. Total of two misses (pees - once at the supermarket) and all the rest on the potty or in the toilet.
What did we do different on Saturday? I brought her potty out to the livingroom so that it was visible and accessible at all times. So sometimes she'd signal, and head right over to the potty, or bring the potty to one of us while signaling.
Now, because we've been ECing Leona - with varying intensity and 'success' - since she was 2.5 months old, she's also already quite aware and communicative when she wishes to be.
And truth be told I've been wanting to potty train her for quite a while now (ok, I admit, I had hoped she'd be diaper free - and consistently miss free - before she turned 1, but that fell by the way-side), but since Judge is the one at home with her during the days I've not really brought it up as it would require some attention and effort/follow-up on his part.
However, last weekend I mentioned my desire to try potty training her - as well as the golden window bit, and Judge's response was: Why didn't you mention [the golden window] before? Let's do it!
So since I'm still on 40% sick-leave, where I stay home on Friday's, we decided to use this 3-day weekend to try the 3-day potty training method.
Actually, all we did was tell her she won't be wearing a diaper during the day any more (except for during her nap for now still), and took her diaper off when she woke up, and asked her to let us know when she had to pee or poop.
I also tried to feed her as much water as she happily would drink, and tried to be close to her most of the time and very aware of her...without hoovering and asking her every five min if she had to pee. But other than that we didn't do anything special (the 'real' 3-day potty training method has lots of tricks up its sleeves).
To be honest I was a bit apprehensive about trying this, because a couple days before The Weekend we had taken her diaper off a bit before her bath, and both times she had peed on the bed without any show of being aware of it. But by postponing it her awareness of herself would just diminish, not improve, so figured 'let's do it!' was the right idea.
So this is how the weekend went.
Friday: She had her second wake - and diaper removal - at 9. By 11 o'clock I had changed her pants four times. By bedtime that evening we'd had a kazillion pant-changes with a track-record of 100% non-communication about the pees (but 100% [1x] number two in the toilet).
At first I thought she really had totally lost touch with herself due to the diaper soaking it up so well, but then I realized it wasn't fully that, as she would run into the bedroom, happily yell bye-bye, close the door, and a few seconds later open it with her happy 'here I am!' face...and I notice she just peed. She did this three times. She would also sit down on the couch and be still for a moment, and yes, have peed (twice). And more.
I was ready to give up for this try, thinking maybe because my milk has lessened that she is feeling insecure or something, and thus it not be an ideal time to potty train.
But then I figured I would tough it out these three days.
So Saturday: diaper off at 9 again, peed on the potty. Peed again on the potty at around 12 (! now that was a long wait compared with yesterday...and no misses in between), and so on. Total of two misses (pees - once at the supermarket) and all the rest on the potty or in the toilet.
What did we do different on Saturday? I brought her potty out to the livingroom so that it was visible and accessible at all times. So sometimes she'd signal, and head right over to the potty, or bring the potty to one of us while signaling.
On to Sunday: diaper off just after 8, and quite the good start, with about four signalings and pees in the potty, then a partial-in-time poo, but then five non-communicated pee-in-pants in a row (two of which were on the bed...we have - once again - learned our lesson). This was just the morning, pre afternoon nap. She was a bit unstable during this time as well - emotionally, so may have had an effect. Then a few more 'close the bedroom door' misses, and a few in the potty, and that was a wrap.
Overall, though, I feel it went pretty well. We weren't expecting zero misses from the start, and I really think if we keep it up and are consistent (without making it a guilt or stress point) the misses will become less and less pretty quickly.
Most importantly, both Judge and I are on the same page regarding our game-plan for this (as tends to be the case when it comes to how we want to raise our kids - especially after we've discussed it), so we can provide her with a safe support.
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Saturday, December 1, 2012
dress-up and drawing
Leona has loved dress-up for the longest time - pulling our clothes out of the closet, putting on her dad's t-shirts or our underwear (underwear goes on your head, remember - first paragraph under the first picture), or trying to put on her own clothes.
It doesn't stop there though, anything that can be worn is fair game:
She is also quite into pens - and crayons - and scribbling. Pens are extra fun because you can 'pop' them:
It doesn't stop there though, anything that can be worn is fair game:
[Recycling bags? Hello!]
She is also quite into pens - and crayons - and scribbling. Pens are extra fun because you can 'pop' them:
...while crayons are nice, but don't taste too good (and this must be confirmed every time)
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muffin tin meals...and milk (nursing-kind)
I have loved this idea ever since I came across it long ago, before Leona was born. When Leona turned one my mom gave her a muffin tin that we could use for just this - but unfortunately at that time she was more into throwing the tin on the floor than anything else.
Well, Tobias recently gave it a shot:
She has started eating tons more than she ever has before though, and I think that has to do with my milk supply shrinking drastically due to the pregnancy.
[interlude] She still nurses tons - though I have gotten it down to more of on a routine basis rather than on demand basis these past couple months. Last one for the night when I get up for work - a little before six, then when I come home, before she goes to bed, then at 10pm, 1am, 3am and maybe 4am, and then start the cycle again, and if I was at home that day again when she wakes up a few hours later, and before her nap and after her nap - and if she goes to the store with Judge when they come home again.
Now I have cut the night-time nursings down quite a bit, first cutting out the 10pm one and then the 1am one, so the first one is now at around 2 or 3am, and recently I have been able to cut the 4am one as well, so we're down to one (sometimes two if I'm too tired - because she still wakes up quite often and every time she wakes up she wants to nurse, and thus cries for a minute or two before she lays down again - but this minute or two is totally ok - not like the crying she did earlier before she was 'ready' to cut down on the nursing).
I think her stomach is starting to get used to the new schedule, as last night she slept all the way until 1am, then laid back down without crying, and slept until about 2:30, and then again, after nursing and playing a bit, slept straight through until 5:45am for her morning nurse.
Or maybe last night was a fluke :P [/interlude]
I thought my milk was mostly 'water' anyways (as in not filling), as the fat content in my milk has always appeared super low (and when I say always I mean the first couple weeks when I pumped because I wanted to have a small emergency supply), but seems I may have been a bit mistaken.
Or she's going through a growth spurt - since we don't measure her weight regularly we don't really know (we don't own a scale).
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Well, Tobias recently gave it a shot:
[clockwise from top left: cooked carrots, maccaroni, empty, corn, brussle sprouts, omelete]
But he found out it was much more successful if he started with her least favorite and gave it to her to eat when it was fresh off the stove, then slowly moved to her most favorite (corn and maccaroni), as otherwise she's just hone in on those two and ignore the others.
So I think we will keep this one on the back-burner for a while longer, so to speak, as I am still in love with the idea ;)
She has started eating tons more than she ever has before though, and I think that has to do with my milk supply shrinking drastically due to the pregnancy.
[interlude] She still nurses tons - though I have gotten it down to more of on a routine basis rather than on demand basis these past couple months. Last one for the night when I get up for work - a little before six, then when I come home, before she goes to bed, then at 10pm, 1am, 3am and maybe 4am, and then start the cycle again, and if I was at home that day again when she wakes up a few hours later, and before her nap and after her nap - and if she goes to the store with Judge when they come home again.
Now I have cut the night-time nursings down quite a bit, first cutting out the 10pm one and then the 1am one, so the first one is now at around 2 or 3am, and recently I have been able to cut the 4am one as well, so we're down to one (sometimes two if I'm too tired - because she still wakes up quite often and every time she wakes up she wants to nurse, and thus cries for a minute or two before she lays down again - but this minute or two is totally ok - not like the crying she did earlier before she was 'ready' to cut down on the nursing).
I think her stomach is starting to get used to the new schedule, as last night she slept all the way until 1am, then laid back down without crying, and slept until about 2:30, and then again, after nursing and playing a bit, slept straight through until 5:45am for her morning nurse.
Or maybe last night was a fluke :P [/interlude]
I thought my milk was mostly 'water' anyways (as in not filling), as the fat content in my milk has always appeared super low (and when I say always I mean the first couple weeks when I pumped because I wanted to have a small emergency supply), but seems I may have been a bit mistaken.
Or she's going through a growth spurt - since we don't measure her weight regularly we don't really know (we don't own a scale).
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oh how I love visa application processes
I have gotten into the habit of not answering my phone when at home if no name pops up - because it is either work related or someoen wanting to sell me something.
Thankfully I didn't screen my calls today - or rather not this call, as it was from UDI, Norway's immigration office, calling regarding Judge's family-immigration-visa.
Now, I am not going to go into too many details regarding the journey we've been on thus far, but suffice it to say there are lots of pieces of documentation that had to go into the application (of course, when has a visa like this not required loads of documents), and the only one we've been unsure of in terms of it's sufficiency is my documented past earnings.
See, the regulation states it has to be last year's income statement. Mine is practically null (Leona was born in April and I didn't head back to work soon after as is the Taiwanese norm, but rather took the Norwegian route of taking the rest of the year off). So we waited until I had earned the required minimum this year (2012) - about NOK 300k, and then provided documentation proving this, plus an explanation regarding why I couldn't prove that amount in 2011.
She said that the earnings from 2012 count only as proof of future earnings, that it has to be from the last tax year (me: close to despair, as the scenarios if we don't get this visa are all pretty depressing).
So then she asks whether I can prove we lived together for several years already (as I had written our together-lives' story in his application, as required..."not that I don't believe you"), because lo-and-behold she says one can be exempt from the previous earnings' requirement if one has a kid together who is Norwegian, and has lived together already for several years.
Now wouldn't that have been ideal to write on their website? (!) Then we could have accumulated the proof while still in Taiwan, and applied for this visa back in December last year (!!!), and saved us tons of headaches trying to figure out how we can move to Norway without splitting up the family for a year first.
So I explain to her that we have no mail that was sent to our homes from when we lived in Taiwan, no documentation showing we both lived where, together.
We talk some more, she asks why I moved to Taiwan in the first place - for study?, I explain my reasons, then say I also ended up taking a master's as the opportunity presented itself. She asks me to send her documentation showing as much, as maybe it can be used for something (vague-much).
So I do, right away, and ask if I am able to contact my previous landlords and get them to send an email stating we lived there together from when to when, if that could suffice. She says sure, that may suffice.
So then I start stressing - because of course we don't have the contact info for any of thsoe landlords any more. So I write an email to my sister-in-law asking if she can email UDI and confirm that me and Judge had lived together for four years in Taiwan with details regarding time and place, and I email my younger sister asking if she can send an email on behalf of our dad saying he had visited us in 2008 and 2009 - in our homes where we lived together in Tainan and Jhubei.
Right after I finish these emails, I get an email from UDI-lady that I do not have to worry about finding documentation proving we had lived together the whole time we have claimed.
No idea what happened that had her change er tune (perhaps the fact I showed I got a master's in Tainan, showing I lived in Taiwan for several years, so then they can more easily believe our story? But why would we lie about it in the first place seeing as we didn't know it was a blessed loop-hole? Mystery.)
I am just truly hoping that it means we get a 'visa granted' letter in the mail shortly - bated breath and fingers crossed.
.
Thankfully I didn't screen my calls today - or rather not this call, as it was from UDI, Norway's immigration office, calling regarding Judge's family-immigration-visa.
Now, I am not going to go into too many details regarding the journey we've been on thus far, but suffice it to say there are lots of pieces of documentation that had to go into the application (of course, when has a visa like this not required loads of documents), and the only one we've been unsure of in terms of it's sufficiency is my documented past earnings.
See, the regulation states it has to be last year's income statement. Mine is practically null (Leona was born in April and I didn't head back to work soon after as is the Taiwanese norm, but rather took the Norwegian route of taking the rest of the year off). So we waited until I had earned the required minimum this year (2012) - about NOK 300k, and then provided documentation proving this, plus an explanation regarding why I couldn't prove that amount in 2011.
She said that the earnings from 2012 count only as proof of future earnings, that it has to be from the last tax year (me: close to despair, as the scenarios if we don't get this visa are all pretty depressing).
So then she asks whether I can prove we lived together for several years already (as I had written our together-lives' story in his application, as required..."not that I don't believe you"), because lo-and-behold she says one can be exempt from the previous earnings' requirement if one has a kid together who is Norwegian, and has lived together already for several years.
Now wouldn't that have been ideal to write on their website? (!) Then we could have accumulated the proof while still in Taiwan, and applied for this visa back in December last year (!!!), and saved us tons of headaches trying to figure out how we can move to Norway without splitting up the family for a year first.
So I explain to her that we have no mail that was sent to our homes from when we lived in Taiwan, no documentation showing we both lived where, together.
We talk some more, she asks why I moved to Taiwan in the first place - for study?, I explain my reasons, then say I also ended up taking a master's as the opportunity presented itself. She asks me to send her documentation showing as much, as maybe it can be used for something (vague-much).
So I do, right away, and ask if I am able to contact my previous landlords and get them to send an email stating we lived there together from when to when, if that could suffice. She says sure, that may suffice.
So then I start stressing - because of course we don't have the contact info for any of thsoe landlords any more. So I write an email to my sister-in-law asking if she can email UDI and confirm that me and Judge had lived together for four years in Taiwan with details regarding time and place, and I email my younger sister asking if she can send an email on behalf of our dad saying he had visited us in 2008 and 2009 - in our homes where we lived together in Tainan and Jhubei.
Right after I finish these emails, I get an email from UDI-lady that I do not have to worry about finding documentation proving we had lived together the whole time we have claimed.
No idea what happened that had her change er tune (perhaps the fact I showed I got a master's in Tainan, showing I lived in Taiwan for several years, so then they can more easily believe our story? But why would we lie about it in the first place seeing as we didn't know it was a blessed loop-hole? Mystery.)
I am just truly hoping that it means we get a 'visa granted' letter in the mail shortly - bated breath and fingers crossed.
.
Friday, November 23, 2012
at around 12 weeks
I may be at 12 weeks today...may also just be at 11.5 or already at 13 - not that it really matters or makes a difference seeing as the expected birth time is so fluid and uncertain anyhow. But it is a bit unnerving for this girl who loves to count to not be able to count my weeks as securly as I did last time (not that it was necessarily accurate that time either, but I at least was under the illusion it was).
Anyhow, I am finding this pregnancy very different than the first. For one, I don't feel pregnant in the same way I did last time, and I think it's because of all the ultrasounds I took in Taiwan - by around 12 weeks I had taken 1 because I was spotting, 1 after I had had a severe fever, 1 for my 8 week check-up and 1 for my 12 week check-up. That's four times to see the baby and perhaps three or four times to hear the heart beat. Somehow all that visual and audio connecting helped me connect more in the head and heart too, I think.
This time, though we have had an early ultrasound and I have already been to my first pregnancy check-up, and have felt way worse than I did last time, I still don't 'feel' pregnant. I have not started looking for baby names (or, rather, I had gone through an app I had downloaded and marked several interesting girl names...not all because they were potentials but some just because they were pretty darn hillarious...like Aikeel or something like that, all I could thing of was 'I kiiiiiill you' in a stupid accent), but when Leona wiped my iPhone clean, I lost the umph. Plus I think I will just wait until Jan 3rd when we have our scheduled 'high level' ultrasound and hopefully find out if we're having a girl or a boy, as then I can focus on just one gender (and if when the babe is born it turns out we were wrong, we can just look for a name then, no rush).
I think part of it may also be due to this being the 2nd time around. I feel I already gathered all the information I need regarding pregnancy and birth last time, I know what is important to me and what I want to focus on, etc. And even regarding giving birth here in Tromsø, I am just waiting to meet with the midwife - maybe even the 2nd or 3rd time, to discuss the options here (have done a tiny bit of preliminary searching). A home birth is very tempting, because I have a feeling there is no birthing centre as nice as the one we gave birth at in Taiwan, don't think there is a water-birth option here, and then there is Leona, who I would like to be around during the birth (though if it is as long and intense as last time it may not be the best idea as she needs a lot of focus as well).
Anyhow, all that is for later days' thinking and figuring out.
Anyhow, I am finding this pregnancy very different than the first. For one, I don't feel pregnant in the same way I did last time, and I think it's because of all the ultrasounds I took in Taiwan - by around 12 weeks I had taken 1 because I was spotting, 1 after I had had a severe fever, 1 for my 8 week check-up and 1 for my 12 week check-up. That's four times to see the baby and perhaps three or four times to hear the heart beat. Somehow all that visual and audio connecting helped me connect more in the head and heart too, I think.
This time, though we have had an early ultrasound and I have already been to my first pregnancy check-up, and have felt way worse than I did last time, I still don't 'feel' pregnant. I have not started looking for baby names (or, rather, I had gone through an app I had downloaded and marked several interesting girl names...not all because they were potentials but some just because they were pretty darn hillarious...like Aikeel or something like that, all I could thing of was 'I kiiiiiill you' in a stupid accent), but when Leona wiped my iPhone clean, I lost the umph. Plus I think I will just wait until Jan 3rd when we have our scheduled 'high level' ultrasound and hopefully find out if we're having a girl or a boy, as then I can focus on just one gender (and if when the babe is born it turns out we were wrong, we can just look for a name then, no rush).
I think part of it may also be due to this being the 2nd time around. I feel I already gathered all the information I need regarding pregnancy and birth last time, I know what is important to me and what I want to focus on, etc. And even regarding giving birth here in Tromsø, I am just waiting to meet with the midwife - maybe even the 2nd or 3rd time, to discuss the options here (have done a tiny bit of preliminary searching). A home birth is very tempting, because I have a feeling there is no birthing centre as nice as the one we gave birth at in Taiwan, don't think there is a water-birth option here, and then there is Leona, who I would like to be around during the birth (though if it is as long and intense as last time it may not be the best idea as she needs a lot of focus as well).
Anyhow, all that is for later days' thinking and figuring out.
[Peaceful contemplation]
.
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Experiencing play-land
We headed to our local play-land last Saturday for the first time ever. Me, slightly filled with dread. But boy was I pleasantly surprised!
We got there just after it opened, about 10:15am, and I think that was the winning strategy for the success, as there were almost no other kids there yet.
I kind of failed in the whole 'let her go and explore everything she wants in the order she wants at the pace she wants' bit though, as I was eager for her to head up to the area that was made for kids her age, thinking it would be oh-so cool for her. Ended up that area kind of sucked big time, so after a very short while there, she headed out into the wild jungle of the place, literally (happened to be themed a jungle).
First up was a tunnel, which Judge went through first, and she followed after...backwards a lot of the way as that's how she gets down off furniture and how she goes down stairs:
Then it was carefully making her way out on a rope and walking across it - carrying two plastic balls she had picked up along the way:
Afterwhich it was time for the ball-pit. But rather than her eyes aglow when she saw the pit, she got all excited about all the balls that had gone astray, and got busy cleaning a large portion of them up. That's our Leona for you.
Once in, Judge dug himself down completely and swam around a bit, to pop up beside her, and she immediately signed 'glasses' - not what any of us had expected really. But then he touched his face, drop-jaw, "I wore my glasses right?". Now how lucky was he, because if it hadn't been for Leona's stellar observation skills I think we could have been looking for them a while later for a looooooooong time.
It was then time for the trampoline - and boy was that a winner!
She just jumped and jumped and ran and bumped. LOVED it.
And last but not least, the volcano. The big kids have to run up it a bit, then grab on to nobs and 'mountain climb' their way up to the top. Leona has a few years to go before she can do that, but running up and sliding down was totally in her realm (especially due to her moccasins that made it not too slippery):
Another awesome part of it was that we just had to pay for Leona (NOK 70), and the three of us adults (Judge, my mom and I) got to enter for free.
By around noon tons of kids started to show up though, with some birthday's being celebrated there and all, so though not as crowded as these kinds of places can get in bigger cities (not to mention Taiwan) it still was feeling way too hectic and chaotic for us, so we decided to head home. It was perfect timing though, really, as Leona was exhausted and it was about time for her nap :) So thus ended a not too shabby late-morning at Leo's Lekeland.
.
We got there just after it opened, about 10:15am, and I think that was the winning strategy for the success, as there were almost no other kids there yet.
I kind of failed in the whole 'let her go and explore everything she wants in the order she wants at the pace she wants' bit though, as I was eager for her to head up to the area that was made for kids her age, thinking it would be oh-so cool for her. Ended up that area kind of sucked big time, so after a very short while there, she headed out into the wild jungle of the place, literally (happened to be themed a jungle).
First up was a tunnel, which Judge went through first, and she followed after...backwards a lot of the way as that's how she gets down off furniture and how she goes down stairs:
Then it was carefully making her way out on a rope and walking across it - carrying two plastic balls she had picked up along the way:
Afterwhich it was time for the ball-pit. But rather than her eyes aglow when she saw the pit, she got all excited about all the balls that had gone astray, and got busy cleaning a large portion of them up. That's our Leona for you.
Once in, Judge dug himself down completely and swam around a bit, to pop up beside her, and she immediately signed 'glasses' - not what any of us had expected really. But then he touched his face, drop-jaw, "I wore my glasses right?". Now how lucky was he, because if it hadn't been for Leona's stellar observation skills I think we could have been looking for them a while later for a looooooooong time.
It was then time for the trampoline - and boy was that a winner!
She just jumped and jumped and ran and bumped. LOVED it.
And last but not least, the volcano. The big kids have to run up it a bit, then grab on to nobs and 'mountain climb' their way up to the top. Leona has a few years to go before she can do that, but running up and sliding down was totally in her realm (especially due to her moccasins that made it not too slippery):
Another awesome part of it was that we just had to pay for Leona (NOK 70), and the three of us adults (Judge, my mom and I) got to enter for free.
By around noon tons of kids started to show up though, with some birthday's being celebrated there and all, so though not as crowded as these kinds of places can get in bigger cities (not to mention Taiwan) it still was feeling way too hectic and chaotic for us, so we decided to head home. It was perfect timing though, really, as Leona was exhausted and it was about time for her nap :) So thus ended a not too shabby late-morning at Leo's Lekeland.
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Sunday, November 4, 2012
first pregnancy check-up
So on Friday I went to my first official pregnancy check-up in Norway.
I had previously asked on a Norwegian soon-to-be-mom forum how long they usually last, and what people who have a kid already do - do they go alone or does the dad and kid come with?, and everyone answered that they always went alone to all check-ups even for their first kid.
For me and Judge, we feel that it is 'us' who are pregnant, not just me, and so in Taiwan he came to each and every check-up (and there are lots of them there, not just the 8 that are standard in Norway).
But after discussing it a little - considering the appointment is said to last about 20 min, and it is with my general family doctor, not the midwives, who won't even be at the birth, we decided that he and Leona would just stay home for the doctor visits, and they would come to the midwife-visits instead.
And I have to say I am glad they didn't come with me, because it was very anti-climatic.
Got there, got my height and weight checked (I was going to go for no weigh-ins this time around, but decided to just go with the flow as I don't really feel strongly one way or another), the nurse brought out three tubes I at first thought were to fill with my blood - and my eyes I think got a little round though I tried to appear nonchalant:
But they ended up being for my urin samples that I'm supposed to bring with me (so TW-NOR difference: Taiwan the sample is provided on site and just tested with a little litmus-strip, while Norway it is brought from home and tested ... I don't know how it is tested, good question to ask next time).
She did then procede to take two blood samples, just significantly smaller tubes.
Then it was in to the doctor, where she asked me some general back-ground questions and previous-pregnancy questions, and gave me some info on the coming check-ups, and asked whether I had any questions (...my only one was what the guidelines were for taking the urin sample...).
That was that.
Next check-up is in 6 weeks with the mid-wifes, and after this experience I mentioned to Judge I thought that they needn't come to the first mid-wife check-up either as I want to first scope them out.
.
I had previously asked on a Norwegian soon-to-be-mom forum how long they usually last, and what people who have a kid already do - do they go alone or does the dad and kid come with?, and everyone answered that they always went alone to all check-ups even for their first kid.
For me and Judge, we feel that it is 'us' who are pregnant, not just me, and so in Taiwan he came to each and every check-up (and there are lots of them there, not just the 8 that are standard in Norway).
But after discussing it a little - considering the appointment is said to last about 20 min, and it is with my general family doctor, not the midwives, who won't even be at the birth, we decided that he and Leona would just stay home for the doctor visits, and they would come to the midwife-visits instead.
And I have to say I am glad they didn't come with me, because it was very anti-climatic.
Got there, got my height and weight checked (I was going to go for no weigh-ins this time around, but decided to just go with the flow as I don't really feel strongly one way or another), the nurse brought out three tubes I at first thought were to fill with my blood - and my eyes I think got a little round though I tried to appear nonchalant:
She did then procede to take two blood samples, just significantly smaller tubes.
Then it was in to the doctor, where she asked me some general back-ground questions and previous-pregnancy questions, and gave me some info on the coming check-ups, and asked whether I had any questions (...my only one was what the guidelines were for taking the urin sample...).
That was that.
Next check-up is in 6 weeks with the mid-wifes, and after this experience I mentioned to Judge I thought that they needn't come to the first mid-wife check-up either as I want to first scope them out.
.
routines - and the 18-month round-up
Leona has really got hooked on routines, and makes sure we strictly abide by them.
There's the bathroom routine described in the last ECing post, there's the bathtime routine, where for example the moment she is carried out of the bathroom and lain down on the bed, she points to her legs - which means we have to get the Bach cream as she gets it rubbed on legs and arms every evening.
There is then the done-eating routine (goes and gets the broom so we can sweep up her dropped food), the sweeping routine (sweep-sweep-sweep, open cupboard door to garbage, dump pan, close door), there's the rules regarding where things should be located, there's the ensuring all doors and drawers are closed properly, and oh-so much more.
She's aslo gotten really into pointing at related things. Like when we read books,
like the book above, she will point at the equivalent things in the room that she sees in the book, or where the various pieces of clothings go on her body (socks and shoes -> feet, shirts and jackets -> body, pants and shorts -> legs, hats and underwear -> head...yes, that is where underwear is supposed to go, apparently, and she happily pulls down our dried lawndry and proceeds to proudly parade around the house with our underwear snug on her head).
She loves to dance, and will request that music be played so that she can do just that...and Enya doesn't do the trick apparently, break-beats are much better.
She will run excitedly to the door when any of us come home or mormor comes visiting.
She hears words' similarities rather than their differences: When a friend came to visit from Taiwan, I prepared her by saying 'Shu2-shu2' (uncle) is coming tomorrow to visit, and she signed 'book' (shu1 in Chinese), so I tried 'bo2-bo2' instead, and she signed 'bowl'. Then there is snow ('xue3' and water ('shui3') that seem to be quite similar, and little brother 'di2-di2' which she hears 'baby' and points to herself, and many more.
She really loves practicing to say her words. I think some of them are still just sounds, but fun sounds (like older sister in Chinese), while others have meaning (like 'baby' which she will also say when she sees other little kids out and about).
She loves singing/humming, as well as still loves just sitting by the window watching the world outside:
She has also started to become more cuddly - like in the picture above where she's reading with Judge, she likes to sit on our laps or lay in the nook of our arm when we read, and when she sleeps she will often roll over right up to me so that our heads and faces are touching, and sometimes take my hand and drape it over her.
And she still enjoys emphatically letting us know she is scared of something - especially the washing machine - whenever she hears the thing or sees it. And us acknowledging that it scares her is enough for her to move on to whatever it is we were on our way to doing or in the midst of doing.
.
There's the bathroom routine described in the last ECing post, there's the bathtime routine, where for example the moment she is carried out of the bathroom and lain down on the bed, she points to her legs - which means we have to get the Bach cream as she gets it rubbed on legs and arms every evening.
There is then the done-eating routine (goes and gets the broom so we can sweep up her dropped food), the sweeping routine (sweep-sweep-sweep, open cupboard door to garbage, dump pan, close door), there's the rules regarding where things should be located, there's the ensuring all doors and drawers are closed properly, and oh-so much more.
She's aslo gotten really into pointing at related things. Like when we read books,
[reading one of her favorite books - Judge's Chinese/English dictionary]
like the book above, she will point at the equivalent things in the room that she sees in the book, or where the various pieces of clothings go on her body (socks and shoes -> feet, shirts and jackets -> body, pants and shorts -> legs, hats and underwear -> head...yes, that is where underwear is supposed to go, apparently, and she happily pulls down our dried lawndry and proceeds to proudly parade around the house with our underwear snug on her head).
She loves to dance, and will request that music be played so that she can do just that...and Enya doesn't do the trick apparently, break-beats are much better.
[Happily practicing handstands with her dad]
She will run excitedly to the door when any of us come home or mormor comes visiting.
She hears words' similarities rather than their differences: When a friend came to visit from Taiwan, I prepared her by saying 'Shu2-shu2' (uncle) is coming tomorrow to visit, and she signed 'book' (shu1 in Chinese), so I tried 'bo2-bo2' instead, and she signed 'bowl'. Then there is snow ('xue3' and water ('shui3') that seem to be quite similar, and little brother 'di2-di2' which she hears 'baby' and points to herself, and many more.
She really loves practicing to say her words. I think some of them are still just sounds, but fun sounds (like older sister in Chinese), while others have meaning (like 'baby' which she will also say when she sees other little kids out and about).
She loves singing/humming, as well as still loves just sitting by the window watching the world outside:
And she still enjoys emphatically letting us know she is scared of something - especially the washing machine - whenever she hears the thing or sees it. And us acknowledging that it scares her is enough for her to move on to whatever it is we were on our way to doing or in the midst of doing.
.
Friday, November 2, 2012
ECing our 18 month old in the arctic
Been a while since we visited the EC front.
For the longest time, we weren't really anywhere with the ECing. It had fallen pretty far off the map - not so much in my heart, but in practicality since I wasn't home with her all the time working on it part-time.
It had gotten to the point where I would still take her to the potty every time she signed, but her actually going then was far and few between. But rather than give up I just focused on no pressure on her, no stress on me, and just keeping it up at that very low-key level.
And then the last few months it has suddenly picked up drastically again. I think it may have to do with routines and decisions - meaning we follow her lead as much as we can in many respects, so that she has some control over her life. Also because she is so extremely clear in her communication, you can't really ignore her - or if you do ignore her you'd have to feel a bit bad about it I'd think.
So for the last while she lets us know she has to use the bathroom probably about 75% of the time she needs to use it during the day: She will pat her chest and look at us expectedly, then when we say lets go to the bathroom she runs to the bathroom with us, helps pull down her pants a little, dictates which utility she wishes to use (her potty or the little toilet-seat insert on the big toilet), if it's the toilet-seat insert she signs that she needs toiletpaper, so we tear off one square and give it to her, she sometimes pretends to blow her nose and then stuffs it down into the toilet, and when she's done she lets us know, we wash her bum and hands, stand her on the floor and pull up her pants, she dries her hands on the towel, often dries her mouth as well, and then walks out, closes the door, and on to the living room and pulls at the drawer where her changing pad and diapers are, we lay the changing pad down, she lays down semi-on it, and then we put her diaper on. Routine. Important.
The other 25% go in the diaper, and she will then often let us know she wants to change her diaper (pull at her diaper) and when we confirm with her, she runs over to the drawer and follows the system as above.
She doesn't go to the bathroom every time she says she has to, but a good 80% of the time she does I'd say.
Now, at 18 months, she's actually entered the golden age for potty training, so I have been toying with the idea. I know I want to do it now within the next four months before the golden age passes, but it's one of those things me and Judge have to have a good discussion about first, and make sure we're on the same page.
A few things may point to waiting a month or two is a good idea, as she cannot 100% control it - we have to help her with her clothes (this could be an easy fix: just let her wear pants), open the bathroom door (easy fix would be leave the potty outside the bathroom door - but it's not as nice an environment to do one's business)...and then she wouldn't be able to use the toilet-seat insert that she enjoys so much - so perhaps get a little step-up for her to climb up, but it is still a bit beyond her motor skills to be able to climb up, turn around and sit down on the toilet.
Another problem is, for example, sometimes I've put the potty in the windowsill so she can sit there and look out, and she has decided she's done or wants to move somewhere else, and if I am not close by she just tears the potty from under her, where if there was something inside it would basically be flung out across the entire room.
We could of course do day-time full-time EC, meaning diaper-free, and just continue as we are now, following her lead but being an active part in the process, and then as her motorskills develop hand the entire process over to her.
Again, something to discuss~~
.
For the longest time, we weren't really anywhere with the ECing. It had fallen pretty far off the map - not so much in my heart, but in practicality since I wasn't home with her all the time working on it part-time.
It had gotten to the point where I would still take her to the potty every time she signed, but her actually going then was far and few between. But rather than give up I just focused on no pressure on her, no stress on me, and just keeping it up at that very low-key level.
And then the last few months it has suddenly picked up drastically again. I think it may have to do with routines and decisions - meaning we follow her lead as much as we can in many respects, so that she has some control over her life. Also because she is so extremely clear in her communication, you can't really ignore her - or if you do ignore her you'd have to feel a bit bad about it I'd think.
So for the last while she lets us know she has to use the bathroom probably about 75% of the time she needs to use it during the day: She will pat her chest and look at us expectedly, then when we say lets go to the bathroom she runs to the bathroom with us, helps pull down her pants a little, dictates which utility she wishes to use (her potty or the little toilet-seat insert on the big toilet), if it's the toilet-seat insert she signs that she needs toiletpaper, so we tear off one square and give it to her, she sometimes pretends to blow her nose and then stuffs it down into the toilet, and when she's done she lets us know, we wash her bum and hands, stand her on the floor and pull up her pants, she dries her hands on the towel, often dries her mouth as well, and then walks out, closes the door, and on to the living room and pulls at the drawer where her changing pad and diapers are, we lay the changing pad down, she lays down semi-on it, and then we put her diaper on. Routine. Important.
The other 25% go in the diaper, and she will then often let us know she wants to change her diaper (pull at her diaper) and when we confirm with her, she runs over to the drawer and follows the system as above.
She doesn't go to the bathroom every time she says she has to, but a good 80% of the time she does I'd say.
Now, at 18 months, she's actually entered the golden age for potty training, so I have been toying with the idea. I know I want to do it now within the next four months before the golden age passes, but it's one of those things me and Judge have to have a good discussion about first, and make sure we're on the same page.
A few things may point to waiting a month or two is a good idea, as she cannot 100% control it - we have to help her with her clothes (this could be an easy fix: just let her wear pants), open the bathroom door (easy fix would be leave the potty outside the bathroom door - but it's not as nice an environment to do one's business)...and then she wouldn't be able to use the toilet-seat insert that she enjoys so much - so perhaps get a little step-up for her to climb up, but it is still a bit beyond her motor skills to be able to climb up, turn around and sit down on the toilet.
Another problem is, for example, sometimes I've put the potty in the windowsill so she can sit there and look out, and she has decided she's done or wants to move somewhere else, and if I am not close by she just tears the potty from under her, where if there was something inside it would basically be flung out across the entire room.
We could of course do day-time full-time EC, meaning diaper-free, and just continue as we are now, following her lead but being an active part in the process, and then as her motorskills develop hand the entire process over to her.
Again, something to discuss~~
.
Thursday, November 1, 2012
well into the first trimester
Every baby is different thus every pregnancy and birth is different as well. This we all know.
For me this time around, the pregnancy is a lot tougher than I remember the last one being. I basically lay on the couch from when I get home from work a little after 1pm until I shower and go to bed with Leona around 6:30-7:00. Can't really eat dinner, and if I do, it ends up coming out again - which actually lets me feel a bit better for a short while, making me almost wish I threw up more often, just so I could have a reprieve of the feeling-oh-so-sick'ness. Almost. And even with 30% sick leave last week I ended up taking all of Friday off because after four days of working I was just feeling too ucky ... thus I asked my doctor to increase my percentage to 40% this week.
Sometimes I find myself questioning, however, whether I really feel this bad or if I feel this bad because I can. I mean, if I was in Taiwan right now, working (hypothetically of course, as if we were still in Taiwan I'd be the stay at home parent), without the opportunity to have this kind of sick leave, would I just make it work? Hard to say, but the discomfort is most definitely real, and the opportunity to easily go on as large a percentage of sick leave as necessary most definitely appreciated.
Also appreciated is Judge taking care of Leona while I just lay around, and him making me delicious lunches to take with me to work, so that I can eat a good, full meal. Can't imagine feeling this bad and having to take care of a toddler and a home at the same time.
So really, life is good, despite the ugginess.
And tomorrow I head to the doctor's for my first pregnancy check-up. Am looking forward to the compare-and-contrast with my Taiwan experiences two years ago!
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For me this time around, the pregnancy is a lot tougher than I remember the last one being. I basically lay on the couch from when I get home from work a little after 1pm until I shower and go to bed with Leona around 6:30-7:00. Can't really eat dinner, and if I do, it ends up coming out again - which actually lets me feel a bit better for a short while, making me almost wish I threw up more often, just so I could have a reprieve of the feeling-oh-so-sick'ness. Almost. And even with 30% sick leave last week I ended up taking all of Friday off because after four days of working I was just feeling too ucky ... thus I asked my doctor to increase my percentage to 40% this week.
Sometimes I find myself questioning, however, whether I really feel this bad or if I feel this bad because I can. I mean, if I was in Taiwan right now, working (hypothetically of course, as if we were still in Taiwan I'd be the stay at home parent), without the opportunity to have this kind of sick leave, would I just make it work? Hard to say, but the discomfort is most definitely real, and the opportunity to easily go on as large a percentage of sick leave as necessary most definitely appreciated.
Also appreciated is Judge taking care of Leona while I just lay around, and him making me delicious lunches to take with me to work, so that I can eat a good, full meal. Can't imagine feeling this bad and having to take care of a toddler and a home at the same time.
So really, life is good, despite the ugginess.
And tomorrow I head to the doctor's for my first pregnancy check-up. Am looking forward to the compare-and-contrast with my Taiwan experiences two years ago!
[Taken today at noon on my way home from work]
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Thursday, October 18, 2012
speaking of socialistic goodness - and an ultrasound
This past week I've been feeling worse and worse come noon about, and by the time I am home from work, all I can do is lay on the couch until dinner's ready, eat, take a shower and go to bed with Leona around 6:30-7:00 pm.
On Monday our company's nurse was in Tromsø for her monthly two-days, and I asked her first thing in the morning about how it is with my company and pregnant employees, as I was newly pregnant - and hadn't told anyone at work yet. She said they do everything they can to try and make us feel unstressed and as not-tired as possible, so as long as I felt ready and comfortable to tell my boss, she encouraged me to, so that my workload could be adjusted and I could take as many breaks as I needed throughout the day. The big aim is that I not go on sick-leave (as being pregnant is not a sickness but a great joy).
So told HR and my boss, and all went well, but was still feeling terrible in the afternoons, so yesterday asked our nurse what she suggested, and she said I could go to my doctor to be put on partial sick-leave.
So that I did this morning, as thankfully my doctor had drop-in hours today.
Not only was I put on 30% sick-leave starting today (meaning I can work 2:15 hours less each day, and get paid for those hours from the State), but she also sent me to a privat OBGYN for an ultrasound, as I told her I had had some fresh-blood bleading this morning (which I know is relatively common in the first trimester, but is still disconcerting when it happens).
So called the OBGYN on my way to work, got an appointment today for 11:20, so when I got to work just picked up my computer, told my boss I was taking a self-decreed sick-day all day, and home I went.
The ultrasound experience was quite different than in Taiwan. First off, you actually only get one ultrasound in Norway, at around 17 weeks, and you can waive your right to it if you wish. In Taiwan, if you recall, it was part of the routine at every check-up, and if we wanted to waive our right, it would cause tons of trouble.
Second, we only had to wait 10 min, and the doctor even appologized for being behind schedule (in Taiwan we would usually have to wait longer, and the wait was expected). Third, they didn't even attempt an external ultrasound due to me saying I was 7 or 8 weeks along only. And fourth, there was no flimsy paper curtain across my stomach to shield me from watching the OBGYN work.
In any event, a little bean was found on the screen, with a flickering heartbeat as well, and all looked to be a-ok.
What a sigh of relief!
The doctor measured the baby to be at around 6 weeks and 4 days, whereas by my calculation s/he should be around a week older than that, so really our estimated range of arrival doesn't shift too much actually. And who knows, our next ultrasound in a couple months may give a different result, as these ultrasounds aren't exactly exact.
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On Monday our company's nurse was in Tromsø for her monthly two-days, and I asked her first thing in the morning about how it is with my company and pregnant employees, as I was newly pregnant - and hadn't told anyone at work yet. She said they do everything they can to try and make us feel unstressed and as not-tired as possible, so as long as I felt ready and comfortable to tell my boss, she encouraged me to, so that my workload could be adjusted and I could take as many breaks as I needed throughout the day. The big aim is that I not go on sick-leave (as being pregnant is not a sickness but a great joy).
So told HR and my boss, and all went well, but was still feeling terrible in the afternoons, so yesterday asked our nurse what she suggested, and she said I could go to my doctor to be put on partial sick-leave.
So that I did this morning, as thankfully my doctor had drop-in hours today.
Not only was I put on 30% sick-leave starting today (meaning I can work 2:15 hours less each day, and get paid for those hours from the State), but she also sent me to a privat OBGYN for an ultrasound, as I told her I had had some fresh-blood bleading this morning (which I know is relatively common in the first trimester, but is still disconcerting when it happens).
So called the OBGYN on my way to work, got an appointment today for 11:20, so when I got to work just picked up my computer, told my boss I was taking a self-decreed sick-day all day, and home I went.
The ultrasound experience was quite different than in Taiwan. First off, you actually only get one ultrasound in Norway, at around 17 weeks, and you can waive your right to it if you wish. In Taiwan, if you recall, it was part of the routine at every check-up, and if we wanted to waive our right, it would cause tons of trouble.
Second, we only had to wait 10 min, and the doctor even appologized for being behind schedule (in Taiwan we would usually have to wait longer, and the wait was expected). Third, they didn't even attempt an external ultrasound due to me saying I was 7 or 8 weeks along only. And fourth, there was no flimsy paper curtain across my stomach to shield me from watching the OBGYN work.
In any event, a little bean was found on the screen, with a flickering heartbeat as well, and all looked to be a-ok.
What a sigh of relief!
The doctor measured the baby to be at around 6 weeks and 4 days, whereas by my calculation s/he should be around a week older than that, so really our estimated range of arrival doesn't shift too much actually. And who knows, our next ultrasound in a couple months may give a different result, as these ultrasounds aren't exactly exact.
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parental leave in Norway
The other day [a couple weeks ago] I did some research about maternity leave-n-pay in Norway. Here's the scoup:
The next big question - as we are planning on moving to China next fall - was how it works if we move out of the country while I'm still in the midst of my leave. Answer was 'makes now difference where you are in the world, you continue to get paid the same as long as you qualify by working 6 of the 10 months before you give birth'.
And thus the calculating began, and when I was through I was giddy with joy...and then a second later felt ashamed of my giddiness, because 'money is just material' and isn't supposed to bring us joy right? If it gives us joy then we're attached and focused on it, no?
But hey, that's how I roll. The security money brings makes me happy. In fact it's one of the big reasons I wanted to give birth here, to be able to partake in the socialistic goodness both pre- and post-birth (pre-birth being if I feel unwell I can take paid leave and feel no qualms about it).
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- You get a total of 47 weeks at 100% pay or 57 at 80% pay
- You earn up vacation time on the first 12 weeks of the leave when you take 100%, or 15 weeks if you take 80% pay
- Leave usually begins 3 weeks before your due date
- If you choose to work longer or if you give birth before your due date, you lose those days (meaning there is set a maximum of weeks, but there could three weeks less if you for example for some reason worked right up until your birth)
- You can have your leave start as early as 12 weeks before your due date, but the total is still then 47 weeks
- Because Judge isn't working and won't have worked long enough after we give birth, 100% of the weeks go to me
The next big question - as we are planning on moving to China next fall - was how it works if we move out of the country while I'm still in the midst of my leave. Answer was 'makes now difference where you are in the world, you continue to get paid the same as long as you qualify by working 6 of the 10 months before you give birth'.
And thus the calculating began, and when I was through I was giddy with joy...and then a second later felt ashamed of my giddiness, because 'money is just material' and isn't supposed to bring us joy right? If it gives us joy then we're attached and focused on it, no?
But hey, that's how I roll. The security money brings makes me happy. In fact it's one of the big reasons I wanted to give birth here, to be able to partake in the socialistic goodness both pre- and post-birth (pre-birth being if I feel unwell I can take paid leave and feel no qualms about it).
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the eleventh hour
Ever since about mid-May, our plan has been to return to Taiwan - for a month or so and then on to China - at the end of January 2013.
That meant that I would have to hand in my letter of resignation at the end of September (!) as in Norway it is standard to require three months' notice and that it is as per the end of the month the resignation is submitted. September and not October as I want to not be working when Judge's parents come visit the last two weeks before our departure.
That would also mean we'd have to notify the landlord we were moving by the end of October.
If you remember, all this not sticking it out a reasonable time but just up and leaving was really making me feel a bit unwell - and worried how it may end up affecting me in the future if we ended up not taking on Judge's dad's business, as that would mean I would once again be applying for a job somewhere, sometime. And I was especially feeling all flighty because my new manager is so incredibly focused on long-term employees (like totally off-the-wall obsessed with it I have come to feel, which makes me take it all with a larger grain of salt than I was previously able to do).
Anyhow, in my 'about mid-May' blurb I had mentioned a potential other path down the 'if-then' decision tree that could lead us to staying until summer of 2013. To be honest I totally don't remember what that alternate path was, but think it may have been if we got pregnant in time.
In time being before I had to hand in my letter of resignation I think.
See, we've been trying to get pregnant pretty much since we arrived in Norway, as a huge dream of mine has been to be pregnant and give birth here to not only experience it within 'my country', and most likely have a very different (not necessarily better, different) experience than in Taiwan, but also enjoy all the socialistic wonderfulness that comes with it - especially the earning my salary for 10 months while staying at home with the younguns.
But every 4-6 weeks I've been just as disappointed, and the stress in me has grown and grown. I mean, I have of course tried to feel light and casual and unstressed about it, but for some reason (hah) I just wasn't super successful at it. Partially due to my dream, and partially due to the stress being amplified when I thought about the alternatives: (1) Giving birth in China (something I totally do not feel confident about ... perhaps as I have not looked into how it is there), and (2) Flying to Taiwan when I was 7 months along, and then staying at my in-laws until 1 or 2 months after the birth as we haven't bought our own house in Taiwan yet. For me, not having my own space during such a sensitive and emotional time is what would kind of freak me out when I thought about it. I mean, I think I am truly western in this respect.
To add to the mix of it, you may have seen that I wrote 'every 4-6 weeks'. So come August 22nd and comethe disappointment my period, it meant either that we had one try left, or potentially none, as if it was going to be a 6 weeker we'd find out we were pregnant in basically the thirteenth hour - a few days after I had handed in my letter of resignation. I didn't even want to think about the decision process/alternatives if that happened.
Just so happens that it was in the eleventh hour that first I was once again crushingly disappointed. The disappointment lasted all of 6 hours, where then hope started to bud, and then 9 hours later (in the morning) my hope was confirmed: We're awaiting another bundle of joy end of May/beginning of June. Ecstatic dance!
That meant that I would have to hand in my letter of resignation at the end of September (!) as in Norway it is standard to require three months' notice and that it is as per the end of the month the resignation is submitted. September and not October as I want to not be working when Judge's parents come visit the last two weeks before our departure.
That would also mean we'd have to notify the landlord we were moving by the end of October.
If you remember, all this not sticking it out a reasonable time but just up and leaving was really making me feel a bit unwell - and worried how it may end up affecting me in the future if we ended up not taking on Judge's dad's business, as that would mean I would once again be applying for a job somewhere, sometime. And I was especially feeling all flighty because my new manager is so incredibly focused on long-term employees (like totally off-the-wall obsessed with it I have come to feel, which makes me take it all with a larger grain of salt than I was previously able to do).
Anyhow, in my 'about mid-May' blurb I had mentioned a potential other path down the 'if-then' decision tree that could lead us to staying until summer of 2013. To be honest I totally don't remember what that alternate path was, but think it may have been if we got pregnant in time.
In time being before I had to hand in my letter of resignation I think.
See, we've been trying to get pregnant pretty much since we arrived in Norway, as a huge dream of mine has been to be pregnant and give birth here to not only experience it within 'my country', and most likely have a very different (not necessarily better, different) experience than in Taiwan, but also enjoy all the socialistic wonderfulness that comes with it - especially the earning my salary for 10 months while staying at home with the younguns.
But every 4-6 weeks I've been just as disappointed, and the stress in me has grown and grown. I mean, I have of course tried to feel light and casual and unstressed about it, but for some reason (hah) I just wasn't super successful at it. Partially due to my dream, and partially due to the stress being amplified when I thought about the alternatives: (1) Giving birth in China (something I totally do not feel confident about ... perhaps as I have not looked into how it is there), and (2) Flying to Taiwan when I was 7 months along, and then staying at my in-laws until 1 or 2 months after the birth as we haven't bought our own house in Taiwan yet. For me, not having my own space during such a sensitive and emotional time is what would kind of freak me out when I thought about it. I mean, I think I am truly western in this respect.
To add to the mix of it, you may have seen that I wrote 'every 4-6 weeks'. So come August 22nd and come
Just so happens that it was in the eleventh hour that first I was once again crushingly disappointed. The disappointment lasted all of 6 hours, where then hope started to bud, and then 9 hours later (in the morning) my hope was confirmed: We're awaiting another bundle of joy end of May/beginning of June. Ecstatic dance!
[Our first family-of-four photo taken the day we found out]
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Friday, October 12, 2012
hard to dig up inspiration
Knowing you're at a job for just a relatively short time longer, especially when it is a job that not only is still a bit vague but also doesn't spark much interest for you, makes it mighty hard to find a sense of passion or a sense of wanting to try to really get in to it.
I am therefore really looking forward to eventually having a job again that is challenging, interesting, and fun! Until then I can at least enjoy the decidedly good parts of Norway with ma family:
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I am therefore really looking forward to eventually having a job again that is challenging, interesting, and fun! Until then I can at least enjoy the decidedly good parts of Norway with ma family:
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a perfect example
Not to generalize (ha!) but here is the epitomizational example of a difference I have seen and felt a bit this past year in terms of parenting in Norway and Taiwan:
As we were walking along the lake, we saw this kid - maybe 8 (I have totally no clue) who had climed out on the branch that was reaching over the water. He was hanging, working on climbing back up top to a less precarious position, obviously struggling quite a bit physically but very positive about it, and about 15-20 meters away his parents were calmly sitting on a bench, with an eye on him of course, but mainly just chatting together, not a word of 'careful' or guidance or anything, just letting him do his thing, just trusting him.
I, on the other hand, had tiny tinglings of nervousness for him :P
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As we were walking along the lake, we saw this kid - maybe 8 (I have totally no clue) who had climed out on the branch that was reaching over the water. He was hanging, working on climbing back up top to a less precarious position, obviously struggling quite a bit physically but very positive about it, and about 15-20 meters away his parents were calmly sitting on a bench, with an eye on him of course, but mainly just chatting together, not a word of 'careful' or guidance or anything, just letting him do his thing, just trusting him.
I, on the other hand, had tiny tinglings of nervousness for him :P
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Thursday, September 27, 2012
dabblings for the future
When I was pregnant I got really into gathering tools and information for birth, way beyond what I really ended up using, but I couldn't stop myself...in some ways I'm totally a collector.
And I got really pumped about these things I found, because they're just really amazingly cool and super useful and helpful. And I started to think about getting certified to be able to hold classes with this stuff, especially in Taiwan where it is not set up to give women good birth experiences.
But it was just kind of a flimsy fanciful thought, for several reasons (one being I'd have to head to the states for a short while to get certified, another being I'm kind of stuck in the corporate mindframe...and perhaps it's easier to be a minion than to be an innovator/concept initiator).
But I have found my passion for this hasn't abated. Every time a friend of mine is pregnant and shows an iota of interest in this stuff, I inundate them with emails and sharings. And now one of these recents has suggested when we move back to Taiwan we should discuss me holding classes in a studio place she is opening.
And so my thoughts have started to rummage around the idea again.
Here's the thing: I'd want to create a course that consisted of the hypnobabies hypnosis and relaxation techniques, and that incorporated the useful knowledge in the Pink Kit, as well as other practical information, especially about interventions.
The other thing I would like to do is get RIE certified, and create a space where there could be some RIE-type play-groups that I could facilitate. I see this as being a natural continuation for the groups of birthing-class parents and kids actually - for those who'd be interested at least (of course).
The final thing I want to do in Taiwan is open a small Norwegian-waffe shop. Totally serious. I even have it (almost) all planned out :)
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And I got really pumped about these things I found, because they're just really amazingly cool and super useful and helpful. And I started to think about getting certified to be able to hold classes with this stuff, especially in Taiwan where it is not set up to give women good birth experiences.
But it was just kind of a flimsy fanciful thought, for several reasons (one being I'd have to head to the states for a short while to get certified, another being I'm kind of stuck in the corporate mindframe...and perhaps it's easier to be a minion than to be an innovator/concept initiator).
But I have found my passion for this hasn't abated. Every time a friend of mine is pregnant and shows an iota of interest in this stuff, I inundate them with emails and sharings. And now one of these recents has suggested when we move back to Taiwan we should discuss me holding classes in a studio place she is opening.
And so my thoughts have started to rummage around the idea again.
Here's the thing: I'd want to create a course that consisted of the hypnobabies hypnosis and relaxation techniques, and that incorporated the useful knowledge in the Pink Kit, as well as other practical information, especially about interventions.
The other thing I would like to do is get RIE certified, and create a space where there could be some RIE-type play-groups that I could facilitate. I see this as being a natural continuation for the groups of birthing-class parents and kids actually - for those who'd be interested at least (of course).
The final thing I want to do in Taiwan is open a small Norwegian-waffe shop. Totally serious. I even have it (almost) all planned out :)
[I took this on the uber-cold fall walk we took up by a lake on the island. Leaves already starting to turn brown and trees already starting to become naked. Went way too fast.]
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Sunday, September 23, 2012
Leona @ 17 months
She consistency boggles our minds at how much she knows and understands.
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- She loves to participate in daily life. Clean. Put away dry dishes and cutlery. Hang up and take down laundry. Dance. Basically anything and everything we do.
- She loves to have a sense of control in her life. You sit here beside me. I want to nurse - no, not here, on the couch. This. That. And the other.
- She is super aware of the routines in her life. Often more aware than us, in fact, as for example once before dinner my mom came over to us on the couch for a little kiss, Leona subsequently happily waved good-bye. Suddenly I realized that that is the routine. Have a kiss with mormor before mormor goes home. She knows. (So my mom explained that she was not leaving yet, just that she had wanted a kiss :P).
- She is still happy to putter around alone in the livingroom for an hour or so before waking Judge up - I observed one of several reasons for this the other day: it is her alone-time with his transformer (tablet), which she otherwise is not allowed to touch or watch ;)
- Whenever she is exceptionally quiet and hunkered down somewhere I know that she has found my phone (also something she is not allowed to touch or watch, as it is a 'screen')
- She has gone from not wanting to wear socks, ever, to requesting not only to wear a pair, but often two at a time, and sometimes plus her moccasins (thank goodness, as we're heading towards winter).
- She totally understands most of what we say, whether it be in Norwegian, English or Mandarin. That being said, she's pretty good at ignoring whatever she doesn't want to do.
- She's started to work on saying 'blue' as of last weekend when Judge bought her another little duck - a blue one (she now has six as my mom also bought the last missing color...that's a lot of little ducks to always carry around with her, but luckily she's not got the hang of grasping three in one hand, so it's perfection, really).
- She has created a new sign all by her lonesome for tissue/TP (flat palm up to nose...for wiping/blowing nose)
- I believe this is the second sign she has come up with by herself, the first being for cell-phone (pointing to cheek-bone close to ear)
- She started to love her little car (which she previously practically ignored) - would get on it and scoot around the house several times a day, especially while she procrastinates before bedtime:
[Oh how I love little bodies in PJs!]
And a few 'highlights' about my mindframe - more to remind myself than anything else:
- I try to always use the phrase "this is not for you to use" rather than "this is not for you to play with" when she is trying to get (or has gotten ahold of) something we do not wish for her to use
- I have realized 'play' for me holds connotations of minimizing what she is doing...though technically play can and is directed and purposeful, I still feel that she currently doesn't play so much, per say, but rather investigates, tries out, figurs out, explores...and by using the word 'play' here it does minimize what she is doing
- Though it is a negative ("is not for you"), if I just say "this is for me to use" it doesn't technically exclude her using it, so I feel odd if I'd just say that
- I try to always be 100% present when I am with her (meaning try to leave the cell-phone on the shelf...the computer doesn't come out until she is in bed anyhow, and the TV never on before then either)
- I try to always 'unruffledly' acknowledge her feelings, especially the 'difficult' ones of frustration, sadness ... all crying and screaming related ones I guess - meaning put words to what she is experiencing without getting my emotions caught up in it as well; be there as a support and anchor for her, so that she can safely make it through the rough seas knowing that is natural and healthy
- I try to not interrupt her when she is focused on doing something - anything (unless it is something she is not allowed to be doing).
- I try to always allow her space to struggle and to find her own solutions - and if needed to give a small suggestion or acknowledgement (for example, when she is struggling with putting a duplo piece on top of another, and holds it out to me, I say something like 'you are trying to put it on top' rather than accept it and complete what she is trying to do for her)...
- ...but I also give her space to be a little baby - help her, hold her, etc., when it is clear that she needs it (like when she is tired or a task is too far beyond her current abilities).
- I let her lead activities, often just there observing mostly, and of course responding when she engages me.
- I try to always let her know what is coming before it comes, whether it be a kiss from me, a diaper change, me picking her up, anything.
- I try to not 'test' her (Can you say...? What is this? etc.).
- I try not to give her abstract compliments (that can also lead to invisible pressure) like 'you're so smart', so pretty, so this, so that, but give more concrete feedback.
- In terms of EC I try to always respond to her signs/requests, while leaving it light and non-pressury, as well as take her to the toilet when I think she needs to go even if she doesn't sign.
- I try to always let her explore and manage her interactions with others without guidance/interference from me.
- I try to not add 'ok?' at the end of statements of what we're going to do (so as to not make it into sounding like I am asking her, as then she has the right to say 'no').
- I try not to comment or interfere with how Judge is a parent when his ways differ from mine - though when it is something I feel strongly about I do bring it up of course.
- ...and more.
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Saturday, September 22, 2012
my non-Norwegianness
Sometimes I totally recognize myself in this here Norwegian culture - like when someone who is supposed to arrive for a meeting calls to let me know they will be a couple (and that is literally a couple) minutes late. The expectancy of being on time (not early, not late) is huge here.
Then there are times that I totally don't. I was almost flabbergasted when my long-time child-hood friend (who just happens to be the most awesome, inspiring, how-everyone-should-get-to-experience-communal-care kindergarten educarer) told me how the children are placed in their strollers, which are then placed outside, for their afternoon naps - during the winter as well. This is because breathing cool, fresh air when you sleep is super good for you. That I get. But I was still a little bit drop-jawed when I heard about it.
For one, how the kid can be placed in the stroller and then peacefully fall asleep is totally foreign for me, as Leona was super far from that kind of kid (I know it's all about what you get used to, but I just don't see it being possible for her from when she was tiny unless we had accepted a lot of crying, something I am not comfortable with).
But it doesn't stop there. If a parent is out with their baby (in a stroller) and the baby falls asleep, the stroller will be left outside the restaurant or café or store door - as long as the parent can keep an eye on it through the window. This is not only totally acceptable, it is in fact expected. I was told by my co-worker that if she is in a café and she sees a baby in a stroller in there she gets fully annoyed about the space-hogging and lack of consideration towards others. Wow.
And it keeps going. It is common to have the same kind of nap-scenario at home too, on your balcony our outside your door - and most shockingly of all (to me and Judge) is how our ground-floor 'neighbors' in our apartment complex follows this habit so severely that if it is raining, instead of placing the stroller on their balcony (which is also ground-floor and super accessible to passerby's), they pace the stroller on the mezzanine - in complete un-view of themselves as they are inside behind the closed door:
The thing is, no-one is concerned for the childrens' safety here - that's how safe society has been. Not worried a dog will come and make mischief as dogs are always on a leash or with their owner close by. Not worried someone will walk off with their baby. Not worried a druggy or drunky will come by and do some kind of harm. Not worried that the baby will freeze during cold days (because really you just dress and bundle them for the weather...easy as that). Just not worried. At all. Mind-boggling.
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ridding oneself of dead weight
Sometimes one holds on to things even when they are just continuing to cost you and not providing you with anything anymore, basically just because of the time and effort (and sometimes money) one has already put in.
The thing is, those are all sunk costs and shouldn't actually be taken into consideration when evaluating the value going forward.
Despite knowing this, acting on it is a fully different beast.
For me, this current 'thing' is my Certified Management Accouting designation.
The cost to get it is a moot point, as my then-employer paid for it. The time and effort it took to get it is also a moot point, as though I put it in, and it was effort, it wasn't anything overwhelming (I've always had this type of relationship with school...and work I guess). Once I got it it was more that it was got than a huge sense of excitement and achievement. I'm not sure if me moving to Taiwan the day after the big, final Board Presentation had something to do with it, meaning I was not getting a new and better job because of finally achieving this, but rather just putting it aside to go explore another part of life.
In fact, the designation itself has not really done much for me in and of itself in terms of gaining a higher salary, higher recognition, be a value-enhancing stamp for me towards my employers or others, or anything of the sort, as I have only worked in Taiwan and Norway since then, and neither of these countries know anything about the CMA designation.
It did, however, serve a huge purpose in that it allowed me to get a working permit in Taiwan before I got my masters, as well as allowed me to actually enter the master's program there, as both government and university alike accepted it as an 'equivalent or better' than a bachelors. Something that was oh-so necessary as my next-level-down education is only a two-year diploma.
The thing with this designation, however, is that it costs money every year to maintain your membership. Sure I get half-price since I'm not living in Canada, but that is still big moneys in the long run (especially when the moneys are earned in Taiwan, but also just in general) for something that served its purpose already and that I don't forsee bringing me any more value in the future.
But to give it up, to not be a CMA anymore, when it isn't necessarily an quick and easy thing to get, seems wasteful, like closing the door on potential future opportunity.
Our plans are to stay in Norway and Taiwan though, never head back to Canada and get a job or start a business, and so it truly shows a lack of smarts, I guess, to keep on paying for it year in and year out.
So I think I have made a decision.
Next year, when it comes time to pay the membership dues again, I will write in and say I reneg my membership. And it truly, truly, doesn't have to change anything, not even my resume, as nothing has changed, per se. I still did get my designation back in 2005. It is still the semi-equivalent of a master's degree. The only difference is I can no longer add 'CMA' at the back of my name...something I never, ever have done anyway. And of course the other difference is that it will not continue to be a black-hole I shove money into each and every year.
Not the sigh of relief I thought I should feel after making the decision, but stillfairly confident it is the right one.
.
The thing is, those are all sunk costs and shouldn't actually be taken into consideration when evaluating the value going forward.
Despite knowing this, acting on it is a fully different beast.
For me, this current 'thing' is my Certified Management Accouting designation.
In fact, the designation itself has not really done much for me in and of itself in terms of gaining a higher salary, higher recognition, be a value-enhancing stamp for me towards my employers or others, or anything of the sort, as I have only worked in Taiwan and Norway since then, and neither of these countries know anything about the CMA designation.
It did, however, serve a huge purpose in that it allowed me to get a working permit in Taiwan before I got my masters, as well as allowed me to actually enter the master's program there, as both government and university alike accepted it as an 'equivalent or better' than a bachelors. Something that was oh-so necessary as my next-level-down education is only a two-year diploma.
The thing with this designation, however, is that it costs money every year to maintain your membership. Sure I get half-price since I'm not living in Canada, but that is still big moneys in the long run (especially when the moneys are earned in Taiwan, but also just in general) for something that served its purpose already and that I don't forsee bringing me any more value in the future.
But to give it up, to not be a CMA anymore, when it isn't necessarily an quick and easy thing to get, seems wasteful, like closing the door on potential future opportunity.
Our plans are to stay in Norway and Taiwan though, never head back to Canada and get a job or start a business, and so it truly shows a lack of smarts, I guess, to keep on paying for it year in and year out.
So I think I have made a decision.
Next year, when it comes time to pay the membership dues again, I will write in and say I reneg my membership. And it truly, truly, doesn't have to change anything, not even my resume, as nothing has changed, per se. I still did get my designation back in 2005. It is still the semi-equivalent of a master's degree. The only difference is I can no longer add 'CMA' at the back of my name...something I never, ever have done anyway. And of course the other difference is that it will not continue to be a black-hole I shove money into each and every year.
Not the sigh of relief I thought I should feel after making the decision, but still
.
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
scared
We've lead quite a sheltered life this past year, so Leona hasn't come across much that has had the opportunity to make her scared. And if we did come across such opportunities, they never seemed to come to fruition in her.
Last weekend, however, we visited some friends who we've visited before and who have a dog - and she would seak him out and follow after him around the living-room, but freeze up or duck away when he came close. I made sure I was close to her the whole time, trying to ensure she felt like she had control of the situation, but he would get some licks in and be a bit eager for her taste.
When it was apparent she was scared, I would double-thump my chest with a closed fist (like a heart-beat) and put words to it ("You're scared."), and whaddayano, after a time or two, she would do the double-thump on her own without my initiation when she was a bit overwhelmed by his closeness.
This double-thump is a sign I have thought about before, as my sister-in-law and her son used an open hand to pat her chest to sign 'scared', but this of course was already taken to mean 'need to go potty' by Leona. Figured the closed fist was hopefully different enough.
Now comes the interesting bit (as if that is not interesting in itself...hah): That evening and the next couple days she would sometimes out of the blue double-thump her chest. I wasn't 100% sure she wasn't perhaps just enjoying a new sign and that she hadn't linked it to 'scared', but I thought that perhaps she was thinking about the dog, so I would say a few words about the dog that she had liked and that she had been scared sometimes.
It wasn't until a few days later, though, that I became certain she had the link between the sign and scared. See, our friends also lent us a baby-bathtub that day ... as Leona's been taking a bath in a little blue wash basin...and been enjoying it just fine, but they had one to lend out for now and we figured she could enjoy a bit more space:
Inside, I shook my head in amazement.
.
Last weekend, however, we visited some friends who we've visited before and who have a dog - and she would seak him out and follow after him around the living-room, but freeze up or duck away when he came close. I made sure I was close to her the whole time, trying to ensure she felt like she had control of the situation, but he would get some licks in and be a bit eager for her taste.
When it was apparent she was scared, I would double-thump my chest with a closed fist (like a heart-beat) and put words to it ("You're scared."), and whaddayano, after a time or two, she would do the double-thump on her own without my initiation when she was a bit overwhelmed by his closeness.
This double-thump is a sign I have thought about before, as my sister-in-law and her son used an open hand to pat her chest to sign 'scared', but this of course was already taken to mean 'need to go potty' by Leona. Figured the closed fist was hopefully different enough.
Now comes the interesting bit (as if that is not interesting in itself...hah): That evening and the next couple days she would sometimes out of the blue double-thump her chest. I wasn't 100% sure she wasn't perhaps just enjoying a new sign and that she hadn't linked it to 'scared', but I thought that perhaps she was thinking about the dog, so I would say a few words about the dog that she had liked and that she had been scared sometimes.
It wasn't until a few days later, though, that I became certain she had the link between the sign and scared. See, our friends also lent us a baby-bathtub that day ... as Leona's been taking a bath in a little blue wash basin...and been enjoying it just fine, but they had one to lend out for now and we figured she could enjoy a bit more space:
[Side-by-side: Big Whitey's the same size as the one we used in the old house]
Since we got it she's been a bit hesitant to get in - but usually just for a little bit, and then she will climb over the edge. I was thinking maybe because it's a bit more difficult to get in than her old one.
Two nights ago, though, I had removed the plug while she was still in it ("noooo" I can hear you exclaiming), as I could tell she was basically done and thought I'd start letting the water out. She was fine until the water was almost all out, at which time she stood up and tried to get out pretty fast, get away from the drain, and I suddenly remembered how small kids can get scared of this as they don't understand that they are too big to fit through the hole, and think they may disappear into the unknown just like the water is. Talked a bit about it, then dried off and on to bed-time.
Then yesterday, as I was filling up the big tub she shook her head and then went and pulled out her little one, so we started to fill it up instead. After a little while, though, she tossed her rubber ducks into the big one, and climbed in it, and was totally fine.
Today it went a bit different: She started to climb in the big one before there was much water in it, hesitantly, got one foot in, but then got stuck (fear wise) and I helped her out of the tub. "You're scared." I noted. Double-thump, she went, before she pulled over her little tub again.
Inside, I shook my head in amazement.
.
Friday, September 14, 2012
the life i lead
I sometimes hear about people building a house or watch about it on TV (and then of course it is awsome, amazing, cool oh-so-comfortable-to-live-in houses) and envy the feeling of knowing one will be living in that same place for the next few decades. The sense of settling roots, of connectedness, of constancy.
I also often feel a sense of betraying bosses and landlords, who of course want you to stay as long as possible as it makes life easier and better for them, and as I - during interviews - tell them my then-plans of staying at least a few years (not said in each instance of course, but several both in Taiwan and here in Norway now). I feel that even when I stay out the original contract of a year, that they are depending on me to stay on and I am letting them down when I 'out of the blue' cut things short, so to speak.
And today it all got hit home really hard. Me and our newly started admin and finance manager were discussing finding a job here in Tromsø - as we are currently hiring on a new admin assistant so I can focus fully on finance - and she claimed it's super easy to find a job here and that's why we haven't gotten too many candidates to choose between. I begged to differ, as I hadn't experienced getting called in to many interviews. She proceeded to say "Yeah, if I got a resume like yours across my desk I wouldn't call you in for an interview either."
Slap. In-my-head drop-jaw.
And she continued to say that it was because she wouldn't expect me to stay long enough to make the investment in me - to train me up etc - worth it. Wham.
And of course what could I say, when I am, in fact, going to submit my resignation at the end of this month? (Standard in Norway is a required three months notice...T.H.R.E.E.!).
I don't feel completely bad, as I am in fact completing my original contract with them (which was until end of 2012), have done a bang-up job (of course), and have really saved them some NOKs because they haven't had to hire in a finance person until now (with me going over into the position rather and hiring in a new admin instead) - while if they had had a straight-up admin girl they'd have had to hire one on many months ago.
Plus they have been underpaying me, in my perhaps-not-so-humble opinion. And a final big reason I can sleep relatively ok is that I now have a greater understanding of my new finance role and I have realized that it is still way too non-challenging.
Anyhow, it still didn't feel any bit of nice hearing her say that, as me leaving now is just confirming my feelings of not being someone that can be counted on long term, and it's going to make my resume look even worse.
That just means there is even more of a reason for us to make this move be the right one - to come back to Norway in a few years our own masters, with an awesome product and concept (those pre-fab eco-friendly houses Judge's dad has on the go...and I mean on the uber-success go).
When we make this work for us, then the non-constancy can become comfortable again.
.
I also often feel a sense of betraying bosses and landlords, who of course want you to stay as long as possible as it makes life easier and better for them, and as I - during interviews - tell them my then-plans of staying at least a few years (not said in each instance of course, but several both in Taiwan and here in Norway now). I feel that even when I stay out the original contract of a year, that they are depending on me to stay on and I am letting them down when I 'out of the blue' cut things short, so to speak.
And today it all got hit home really hard. Me and our newly started admin and finance manager were discussing finding a job here in Tromsø - as we are currently hiring on a new admin assistant so I can focus fully on finance - and she claimed it's super easy to find a job here and that's why we haven't gotten too many candidates to choose between. I begged to differ, as I hadn't experienced getting called in to many interviews. She proceeded to say "Yeah, if I got a resume like yours across my desk I wouldn't call you in for an interview either."
Slap. In-my-head drop-jaw.
And she continued to say that it was because she wouldn't expect me to stay long enough to make the investment in me - to train me up etc - worth it. Wham.
And of course what could I say, when I am, in fact, going to submit my resignation at the end of this month? (Standard in Norway is a required three months notice...T.H.R.E.E.!).
I don't feel completely bad, as I am in fact completing my original contract with them (which was until end of 2012), have done a bang-up job (of course), and have really saved them some NOKs because they haven't had to hire in a finance person until now (with me going over into the position rather and hiring in a new admin instead) - while if they had had a straight-up admin girl they'd have had to hire one on many months ago.
Plus they have been underpaying me, in my perhaps-not-so-humble opinion. And a final big reason I can sleep relatively ok is that I now have a greater understanding of my new finance role and I have realized that it is still way too non-challenging.
Anyhow, it still didn't feel any bit of nice hearing her say that, as me leaving now is just confirming my feelings of not being someone that can be counted on long term, and it's going to make my resume look even worse.
That just means there is even more of a reason for us to make this move be the right one - to come back to Norway in a few years our own masters, with an awesome product and concept (those pre-fab eco-friendly houses Judge's dad has on the go...and I mean on the uber-success go).
When we make this work for us, then the non-constancy can become comfortable again.
.
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