the house-visit

As we've been accepted as a couple - I've been accepted as a daughter - it was time for the parent-in-laws to see where we live. Basically so they feel comfortable that we haven't moved 'home' yet.

So last weekend I did a Big Clean - but they didn't come until this late afternoon (grams came along for the ride and check...love it!). So it wasn't spotless but it seems they generally felt it was perhaps kind of ok~

Gave me an opportunity to finally snap some photos to share with all those who aren't able to come check it out for yourselves, so here she is:

[From the front door - beside the kitchen sink - looking into our down-stairs and at our balcony/washroom/storage]

[From the TV looking into our kitchen]

[From downstairs looking at our upstairs]

[From the 'window' upstairs looking towards our office]

[From the stairs looking at our bedroom]

See - we have it all! Livingroom, kitchen, home office, bedroom, balcony, washroom, lots of cupboards and other storage space - and of course bathroom (across from our kitchen). Not too shabby ;)

To round it off, here's me focusing for my week 22 plus 4 days shot (in normal-speak that is 5 months and a bit):

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perfect day to stay home

The weather this year has been pretty great. Hardly raining at all since I started working here (just a few times hard-rain, and a few other times sprinkle-rain), and never rained when it's gotten really cold.

Thus scooter drives to work have been manageable and most often quite enjoyable despite the bottle-necks in some places. Seriously, scooters are the way to travel, as no matter how bad the bottle-neck is, scooters are still slowly moving forward - unless there's a red light that is. Actually, not even that is true - it depends on the size of the red light (or the intersection rather). If it's small enough some scooters slow down enough to see no car or cooter or bike or pedestrian is coming - or at least that they're not unswirvable - and then scoot on through.

Anyhow, back to today: Cold (about 12 degrees C), rainy (like spit-in-your-face kind), and miserable (me).

I know for those of you who have been facing snow, snow, and more snow - and lots of coldness to boot, that my scenario doesn't sound too bad at all. But when you add a no face-shield on my helmet, no rain-shoes, very tired, and a looming cold (?) (stuffy head at least), it really catapults it into the category of "call in sick and stay home day".

Unfortunately I did not do this. So here I am at work, with a steaming cup of roobios tea under my chin, in Judge's big 'Norway winter' coat (as I'm cold and I've put my coat on the 'after belly gets smaller again' shelf).

Thankfully tomorrow's forecast is zero rain AND some sun! YAY!

(Yes, we always trust the weather forecast.)

[Noon Edit: Going home for the afternoon. Cold feet and stuffy head and runny nose and tired me is good reason to crawl into bed and stay there for the rest of the day I'd say]

last day of november

I kept thinking it was October last week. And what do you know - tomorrow it is December!

These past few days we've been trying on a baby-girl name. I'm not 100% yet, but Judge was sold from the second he heard as I read him my very short list. Perhaps this is 'the one' - we shall see ;)

Work is not so grand. Perhaps because there is so little for me to do. However, I am hesitant to let my boss know, because I will get sucky tasks to do and that's no fun either. And my seating position puts me in the middle between two groups - with a bit of distance (I face out and they face eachother...I have the boss' old desk before she got promoted to CFO), so I kind of don't fall into either of them. Add on top of that that I took last Friday off so the lunch outing plan by one group (the one I fall into more) for today (since Boss is out of country this week) passed me by, and add on top of *that* the fact I no longer buy lunch and eat in the cafeteria because I started bringing my own (after gaining a 'bit' too much weight these past 1.5 months) - and lunch was my hang-time with the other group. Of course I could bring my food to the canteen but they eat for so long and have started taking longer lunch-walks...so, after all that addition you get an anti-social isolated lass.

I console myself with the fact that I only have a little over 3.5 months left here, and then I get to start a much more better full-time endevour. First month or so will be 'prep' and then we'll be thrown in the thick if it.

And speaking of the prep - this last weekend Judge and I went up to Taipei. What sparked our weekend outing was a baby-swap (rummage sale) that had been organized by the foreign-family community, where people could donate their baby/toddler/pregnancy stuff and the proceeds went to a charity. My goal purchases were: Maternity cloths! and baby carriers and a baby mattress perhaps if there was one.

Got there Sunday after spending the night at Judge's sister's place, and it was mayhem. Tons of baby clothes but only bought two little girl outfits because we figure we will be getting lots of stuff from people (hand-me-downs and then of course Judge's mom's purchases). There were no baby carriers, no maternity cloths, and one not-so-great baby mattress. It was not a total bust though, as a lady who sells cloth diapers here had brought some stuff she was trying to clear out. Ends up we got us 7 shells, 7 or 10 inserts each for newborn and a bit bigger, some organic folding-inserts and something else - all for the whoppingly low price of NT$1650 (approx US$55). Not too shabby if you ask me; perfect to start out as a tester kit.

it's a ... :D

So, throughout this pregnancy I've been pretty sure we're having a boy. Just had a feeling he was a boy. I knew perhaps the feeling was just because we had already decided on a boy's name, easy-peasy-as-pie to find it.

And I know the ease of choosing a name was because I had spent a long time putting together a list of great boys names for Judge's sister's son at the beginning of this year, with all my favorite names. My number one name that I didn't put on the list at first could have been for a girl or a boy, but in Norwegian it doesn't work so well...used similarly to 'damn'...so I put it on the list in the end.

Anyhow, when we got pregnant and I short-listed the favorite names to really premium ones and read them to Judge, it was an easy pick - there was one that kind of just popped out.

In terms of girls names I've spent LOTS of time searching and thinking as well, but just haven't landed even close to one; I think that is why I felt like we were having a boy.

And then yesterday I did the first session of hypnobabies, where we're supposed to go into relaxation, and part of it is 'meeting our little one'. After the session I realized suddenly the whole time during the 'hanging out together' our little one had been a daughter. Hmmm, interesting.

This morning we went for our 'around 20 weeks' check-up, and the ultrasoundist asked if we knew if we were having a boy or a girl yet. We said we didn't know. She kept moving around trying to get a clear picture, and then asked if we wanted to know. I looked at the monitor and said "We're having a girl!" I had seen the tell-tale 3 white lines (side-note: felt quite the bout of self-satisfaction for having been able to understand what the monitor was showing myself and not have to be told hehe).

EXCITING! Taking a bit to get used to thinking of bebe as a girl though ;P

first times

This evening I looked down at my tummy and saw it was lopsided for the first time ever - right side was sticking out a tad bit more than the left.

Touched it - and right was harder than left. So yes, wasn't just my eyes playing tricks on me - Baby was chillaxin over there, and bumping around once in a while which could be felt outside as well as inside. Yay!

So, when Judge came home I had him put his palm on Baby, and after a bit he felt Baby move too, for his very first time. It was very slight - and if I hadn't said "Right there!! Did you feel it?" he would have thought it was a stomach rumble or an irregular heart-beat :P

Very exciting!

[Belly at 18 weeks]

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first breastfeeding meeting

The town's health center (?) called me on Friday asking if I was available to come to the monthly breastfeeding meeting on Saturday morning. They had gotten my number from Judge who had stopped by their office a while back to ask about reimbursement for pregnancy checkups (pre-health insurance reinstatement).

All in all it was us and two other foreign mom's who showed up, both China-Chinese, but we were told there's usually a lot more moms there. The meeting was pretty great. Basically first just discussing questions and problems mom's may have about breastfeeding, and then going over some material on a specific topic that had already been prepared for that day (this time it was on storing and re-heating expressed milk). I'm not sure if the fact that Judge was there made them a bit uncomfortable at first, but I mentioned later that I hope he can come to most of them with me (as long as he's not on weekend-shift) because I think it is great for both of us if he can learn and gain a good understanding of all this along with me.

One mom had just given birth 52 days ago (to a bebe only 2300g or so~!...couldn't tell at all that she's just given birth, she was as thin as the next thin Taiwanese girl), and has had quite the adventure with breastfeeding so far. Basically she had no knowledge about it, and doing everything by the book - but opposite because she hasn't 'read the book'. It was pretty impressive.

The teacher was an amazingly comfortable person, who has been teaching about breastfeeding for the past 10 years, breastfed her own kids way past the 'norm', and runs a baby-daycare really close to where I lived last year. She facilitates the gathering not in an 'educating' manner but rather very much sharing, allowing us to answer each others questions if we have any thoughts or experiences. If she has a different opinion, she won't say the other mom is wrong per say, but rather give her opinion and advice. Though on some points she did flat out say that the new mom was wrong...with a shocked-laugh kind of manner (not offensive at all).

I think participating in these meetings will help Judge and I a lot. It allows us to gain nuggets of wisdom without having to sift through information overload online, and allows us to bring up any breastfeeding related questions we may have related or unrelated to the focus of discussion. Not that I haven't already done my homework, and most of our questions I am sure could be answered by a quick search (though again, the search itself is quick, while the going-through-the-search-findings takes time), but being with people live is quite wonderful!

And it allows us to meet other moms in the neighborhood/town, and I think a large portion if not all are foreigners (not sure if this is mainly set up for foreign spouses/moms...I think it is~ ).

Fun.

[I know. No pictures. Not even unrelated ones. It is a blogging-sin. I will try and get my act in gear soonest.]


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baby prep

So, trying to figure out where (and how) to give birth, which doctor to have, how to do sit-a-month (center, 'auntie' at home, or mother-in-law?), and all that jazz can sometimes be overwhelming. Then there is cloth vs desposable diapers (and what type of cloth), what type of carrier or sling or wrap. Seriously, sometimes all the options can be more difficult than helpful (where have we seen that before? Oh yeah, in life plans XD).

And then what to prepare for when baby comes, considering also lack of space and wanting to stay simple and low budget. With my own musings and input from a fellow due-in-april mama friend, I have come up with this list:

Before baby is born:

• To get (some used if possible – Taipei baby-swap here we come!)
• Baby mattress (and comforter?)
• Breast pump, nursing pads, a couple of bottles
• Thermometer, nail clipper, nose booger sucker
• Sunscreen
• Baby shampoo / soap and lotion / ointments
• Baby bathtub seat (I think we actually have access to one already)
• Consider our storage and buy storage bins if necessary, for:
• Clothes
• Blankets, cloths, towels, washcloths etc
• Wipes, ointments, etc
• Toys
• Infant car seat
• Cloth diapers (no clue what kind yet)

• To make or get used or new (again, baby-swap may end up being a treasure trove!)
• Baby blankets, burp cloths, swaddling cloths/’bags’
• Baby carrier sling/wrap
• Mattress sheets (including waterproof)
• Clothes
• Onesies
• Socks
• 0-3 months baby caps
• 0-3 months one-piece pajamas with feet
• "Blanket nighties"
• Other clothes up to 6 months
• Sun hats
• Bibs for drooling and spit up
• A few ‘toys’
• Baby towels and washcloths
• Diaper bag with changing pad

For later needs (purchases/makes) (some perhaps needed around when we go to Norway if current plan ends up being 'the one'):

• Bibs for eating (plastic kind) (can also make)
• Teething chew toys
• Other toys (much can make)
• Pajamas, onesies, and other clothes up to 18 months (some can make)
• Outerwear and shoes
• Perhaps a hipster seat (or whatever it’s called...like a carrier but just a seat)
• Stroller
• (Playpen for ‘safe area’?)

Ah, yes, this is how I spent this morning at work ;)

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elusive plans

I know. I said I wouldn't discuss plans, because they are always changing after we've pinned them down. But last night Judge and I stayed awake until about 1am discussing our medium-range plans - and now today I want to curl up under my desk at work and sleeeeep.

We may have come up with one, but it took some finicking to get it to where we felt we were comfortable when taking all important aspects into consideration. Important aspects such as (in no specific order):

• Our desire to live in both Norway and Taiwan
• Our desire to keep a strong and good relationship with his parents and the rest of the family here
• Our desire to have Baby also build a relationship with my mom (and rest of the family - but we're so spread at the moment that basically Norway family has the greatest chance I guess, and my mom most so since we want to live up where she hangs)
• Our desire to help his dad out with his upstart business before 'it is too late' and the help is no longer as useful (after it's on a run)
• Our desire to be able to save up some money and have easier living and more time together/for our lives later

The wholehearted acceptance of me by his parents is amazingly wonderful, but also comes with it's own stinger - being their acceptance kind of is also a plan-crusher (or plan-adjuster). Judge believes that his dad will not agree to us moving to Norway for 5-6 years as we have been aiming for in the fall of 2012 - his dad expects him to help him with the business...and 'taking their grandchild away for so long' is most likely 'unacceptable', and so we are on re-arrangements...unless we want to get into big fights and arguments - something that seeing as we just finished with them we are not keen on starting up again.

Original plan:

• Taiwan until fall 2012 (Judge gains two years of good work experience at current company, I stay home with bebe after s/he's born)
• Move to Norway fall 2012
• I work + get pregnant while Judge stays home + learns Norwegian
• I give birth and get 10 months 100% salary + stay home; Judge finds a job and works and we have double income for a while
• When youngest bebe is around 3, the kids go to kindy or whatnot for a year or two so I can get current work experience before moving back to Taiwan (otherwise it may be difficult for me to get a 'real job' here when we come back)
• Move back to Taiwan and have kids go to elementary school and middle school
• We both can work at mid-pressure jobs so we have two incomes yet also family time
• Move back to Norway for kids' highschool

Newly developed idea as of 1am last night:

• Stay in Taiwan until fall 2011 (Judge will have 1 year's work experience, baby will be about 6 months old)
• Go to Norway until end of June or so
• Perhaps first in Innvik (small village my grandparents are basically from and where we lived for a year when I was 9...love it there) for a bit and then the rest in Tromsø where my mom is (way, way, way up north)
• I find a short-term job (and maybe get pregnant at the tail-end of the stay if it's in the cards) while Judge stays home with bebe + learns Norwegian
• Enjoy the endless night (winter) and endless day (summer), northern lights, and all that jazz
• Move to China around summer 2012
• Judge helps his dad with the business
• I stay hang out with bebe and perhaps help with some stuff with the business
• When 2nd bebe is almost to be born, go back to Taiwan to give birth and sit-a-month (or if more convenient perhaps Hong Kong? Haven't looked into that at all yet, but it would allow me not to have to be away from Judge for a longer period of time)
• Go back to China to continue hanging with the kids and Judge continue working full time with his dad
• Stay as long as it takes (if kids get to school-age, then continue to educate them myself)
• And then open - perhaps can move to Norway and start up the European branch of the business, or move to Taiwan for the kids to finish elementary and middle school, and then to Norway for high-school
• Or something.

The benefit of this new plan is Judge doesn't have to start at the bottom in a new company - or close to it - each time we move, which would happen here in Taiwan at least (we can have a bit better cash-flow). And, by getting into the business early there are potentially good benefits to reap once it's sprinting. And, his dad's business is related to what interests us (green housing) and skills learned and developed can be more easily transferred to other jobs than ie his (specific to the company) process engineering he's currently getting. AND it would be good for the family overall and our relationships with his parents we believe - a very big attraction to us.

Drawbacks are it 'kind of' crushes our near-term plans for Norway living - which we have been dreaming about for a few years now. The 8 month or so hietus is our self-given 'compromise' (rather than not go at all), and one that I think we can become ok with.

Our bottom line is that we are together. We are not willing to adapt to the life his parents have had to live for the past decade and some: His dad mainly in China, coming back to Taiwan every once in a while for shorter or longer visits. His mom in Taiwan, going over to China every once in a while for shorter or longer visits. I don't know how they did it - though I guess for the sake of the kids is quite the enableor.

Conclusion? The planning wheels are yet once again a-churning~ And it is looking exciting.

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reading-reading-reading

If you looked on the floor beside our mattress, you'd see a pile of books - which is about to grow by two more this afternoon. Adding to that I have some electronic medium stuffs (pdf's etc), and one more item on its way soon, hopefully.

There is no doubt when looking at these books and items what is consuming my thoughts these days: pregnancy, birth, and baby (and parent) development/journey.

Below is the list, with my current 'reviews':

• What's going on in there (my aka: the brain book):
• Amazing. Seriously. It has become the basis of my knowledge on baby development and what I judge all other book discussions by. A strong scientific piece of writing that is easily understood by the non-bio me.
• For me it is a book (or books I should say - I got the Chinese version for him) that we do not wish to leave our posession; it is most definitely not a one-time read only.
• Only downside is the binding's not that great on the English version (Judge has the Chinese version and it's fine there). Not a big problem here in Taiwan because it's quick, easy and cheap to get books re-bound. Yay!
• Født klog
• Danish book about how new born babies can understand what we say to them. A short, sweet read with example stories. Quite enjoyable. Only comes in Danish though I think.
• Your self-confident baby 
• Now this is the baby/toddler development/attached philosophy that speaks to me (the RIE philosophy). I'm quite excited about it actually. I follow an interesting blog (Janet Landsbury - in my blog-roll to the right) which discusses it.
• I feel RIE gives a good balance to life, makes intrinsic sense, and is facinating. Definitely recommended.
• The diaper-free baby (coming this afternoon)
• A good book (or so my trusted source tells me) on elimination communication (some other books on EC are not so good, or so my source says); balanced, not overbearing, not fanatic and not pushy.
• I think it goes along the lines of RIE (respecting and communicating with baby) and is great as I can make it work within our life-style as much as I want.
• Look forward to this read.
• Real food for mother and baby (coming this afternoon)
• Written by a good nutrition author (or so my trusted source tells me again - actually, this trusted source is the one that got me onto RIE/your self-confident baby, and the brain book as well; she's been into child/brain development since she was about 12 - so for about 21 years, and has researched a lot of different philosophies/methods, as well as nutrition-wise for herself, and I've gotten to reap the benefits. Woop!).
• Pretty much in line with 'the primal blueprint' kind of eating that I've started to follow (to a 70-80% or so degree) this past year and a bit...(and by following it - cut out starches and sugars, eat healthy fats etc. etc. - I lost 10 kg without really trying to lose weight...other than eating differently).
• Am interested to see especially the bit about babies starting on solids. Seems exciting.
• The pink kit (electronic, haven't started reading yet)
• Found out about it while investigating hypnobabies and hypnobirthing. Came across a blog that went into what it's about and why she recommends it, did more research, and thought to myself: Hey, I want that~!
• Feel that this along with hypnobabies will give me a lot of knowledge and understanding to feel confident and prepared for birth; and our doula will be the cherry on the cake (hrm, the chocolate fudge on the mint-chocolate-chip icecream rather).
• Hypnobabies home-study kit (coming soon - once they fix the glitch that is not giving me shipping options to Taiwan)
• The same blog that describes the pink kit has a good description here.
• Another blog describing the differences between hypnobabies and hypnobabies is found here by a doula who's certified in both, taught both, and used both.
• I'm so excited about this. I wish there was a class I could attend, but the closest one is on Maui (go figure).
• It is also about no-pain birthing using self-hypnosis (see hypnobirthing below), but uses hypno-anesthesia ... targeted on regular birth pain so that anything irregular won't get blocked.
• And it gives a lot of information on difference scenarios and how to deal with them.
• Now, just to get it~~~
• Hypnobirthing
• Quite interesting (half way through at the moment; haven't listened to the CD/scripts yet).
• Main idea is that most normal births, when absent of fear, can be absent of pain.
• Works with self-hypnosis to calm self and work with body and baby without letting fear intervene. 
• I do not agree that less knowledge is more though (their philosophy).
• My take:
• I think there are better and easier relaxing techniques (self-hypnosis techniques) than they use (ie. see hypnobabies above).
• I think understanding different complications that may arise - and more importantly how to deal with them - will eliminate even more fear, bringing confidence to me (ie. see hypnobabies and the pink kit).
• An interesting read but worth a library borrow rather than a purchase (I have borrowed it).
• The baby book
• I think once baby is born a lot of helpful information in terms of basic day-to-day care and not-needing-to-rush-to-doctor-for-every-little-thing information.
• The author is a proponent (the 'creator') of attachment parenting, which I am not 100% a follower of (I'm more for the attached parenting...small diff you say, -ed vs -ment...but really, there is a difference)
• States its claims are based on scientific studies, but aren't. They are based on the author's own observations over his many years of pediatric care, and that of his collegues.
• In my humble opinion, at least in the beginning as that's as far as I've got (other than browsing/skimming/flipping through) and which is not as pediatric oriented but rather attachment oriented, often his results are basically correct, but the reasoning behind it is flawed (when I take the info I've gained from the Baby Brain book into consideration).
• What babies say before they can talk
• Regarding nine different expressions babies have from birth.
• I don't recommend it. At all. Unless you borrow it from the library to skim and get a few interesting nuggests out of it.
• The expressions are pretty self-explanatory/intuitive really (fear, interest, bad smell, bad taste, etc., I think we can all recognize these without them being explained to us), and the rest of the discussion is basically how to interact with your baby...and I already have a school of thought on that one that I'm quite happy with (RIE).

Yes. I have a lot of reading and thinking ahead of me. I look forward to it - and even more so to putting what I've processed and found to sit right for me into practice~!

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sisterly love

Found out a pretty funny tidbit o information a few days ago.

Me and my sister (Katrina) were discussing 'learning at your own pace/interest', and my learning to read came up as an example. We both frequent a blog related to this (encouraging infant and todler independent investigation and learning, amongst many other things), and she mentioned she had actually posted a reply to a post on babies/todlers and learning to read.

See, Katrina taught herself (or rather, with the help of our biggest sister, Pippin) to read when she was three. Because she wanted to. And ever since then she's read. A lot. And fast. I, on the other hand, never really learned how to read until I was about 8-and-a-bit (the one of many areas in development that I was a 'lagger').

Up until then I would only do the slow, painful, sound-it-out-stutter read. Then suddenly within a few weeks (or months) I became a fluent -and avid- reader. Never have gotten up to the speed of Katrina, but that's because we approach reading differently.

Anyhow, I never knew this until recently, but, stealing a quote from her:

"(...) I was very, very worried about her. I was worried that she would never be able to enjoy fiction and non-fiction, and that she would struggle in school, and that she’d be dumb. (...)"

It made me smile. Out loud. First because it shows how much she loves reading (a true understatement), and second, well - that she thought I'd be dumb. I love it!

~ and it makes me feel loved (especially how she finished the comment off - made me feel like a rock star).

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secret anticipation

Wednesday is our 2nd official check-up at the doctors. Tomorrow (Tuesday) is 15 weeks. So, if Baby co-operates there's technically a chance we will know Baby's gender (!)

Originally I was enamored with the idea of waiting until delivery day, as previously mentioned, but I realized the surprise isn't going to be any less, we just get it earlier. And, then I can use he or she ('it' just doesn't seem right), and settle on a name or two (though I think we're already set on a boy's name in Norwegian/English).

So, I'm secretly hoping Baby co-operates tomorrow. I know 15 weeks is a bit early, so that's why I'm only secretly hoping. If not, then we just wait until end of November (or December if Baby really decides not to let us know :P).

For fun, here is my eve-of 15, where tummy really is starting to round out (compared to eve-of 14 that is, shown first):

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call out their 'names'

I am starting to get used to this little cultural tidbit. Didn't realize before just how important it was until I was actually accepted into the family. I am still more comfortable with the western 'Hi+a smile' way of greeting people though (and if it's a first time encounter then a hand-shake is usually a respectful throw-in).

Here, when us younger generation enter a room, we need to 'call' each older generationer by their title. For me on Saturday or Sunday evening family dinners, that usually means:

• grandma aka a-po
• a-third-uncle-in-some-way-on-grandma's-side (still not quite clear to me)....san-shu-gong
• 'mother's-sibling-who-is-xx-in-the-sibling-line' [only uncles here, and if only one uncle present can drop the 'big' '2nd' '3rd' before uncle aka just jioe jioe because all the uncles are older than Judge's mom]
• 'mother's-sibling-who-is-xx-in-the-sibling-line's-spouce' [here only aunties of course, and again if only one can drop the 'big' '2nd' '3rd' etc...aka just jioe-ma]
• and of course when I see Judge's parents that means mom aka mama or just ma, and dad when he's here aka baba or just ba

For cousins it's a lot easier. Their titles are all 'little sister' and 'little brother' (Judge and his sister are the oldest kids on this side of the family) and we are not required to 'call' them as we are older than them. Also, we can call them by their actual names if we wish - though I tend to find the sibling title easier to begin with at least :P

Oh, and interesting point is that I should call Judge's sister 'older sister' even though she is younger than me - because she is Judge's older sister I go by his position in reference to all relatives. I'm actually 100% fine doing this one - also interesting :P

Now, when you 'call' someone, you do not need to add a hello or hi. This is where I kind of got tripped up at first, just throwing the titles out there (that and timing it when others are entering the room same time as you - I was a bit timid and so mine would be drowned out).

So I've learned and am getting comfortable with the fact that all you have to do is make sure you say their title when you come in the room (or they come in the room) for the first time, and that you say it loud enough for them to hear it. It's their choice if they want to acknowledge it or not.

You can also switch it up to "mom, you're home" or whatever you want really, as long as you add the title first.

I also have to be careful when I am speaking to Judge in reference to his parents - and they are in earshot - that I do not say "give it to your mom" (ie. when we are at a restaurant and he is closer) but rather say "give it to mom". Thus I am training myself by now trying to only refer to her as 'mom' even if it is just the two of us, because it's hard to have your brain turned on at all times.

I have to admit that all the extended family titles are a lot easier for me than mom and dad, because I have called many a person auntie and uncle...but only ever called my mom 'mom' and my dad 'dad' before. It's getting easier as our relationships are developing, but it may take a little while until it flows smoothly.

Another related point I'm getting used to is the 3rd person speak. For example, as a teacher, parent, auntie or uncle etc, you will often say to those younger generationers "Do you want auntie to read you a story?" or "Mom said you can only have one" instead of I or me. It will even go so far as "Mom wants you to give that to mom when you are done" etc. Though in Norwegian this one is common when kids are little, once we grow up it is not so common any more.

Also, instead of "Johanna, what do you like to eat?" such a question is often posed as "What does Johanna like to eat?", which threw me for a loop until recently because I thought the person was asking Judge about me (ends up that Judge answered for me each time because I was 'ignoring' the various questionners). Until I realized this mistake, I was always a bit unhappy that they'd ignore me and ask Judge these questions when I was right there.

Ah, gotta love it. No matter how familiar a culture becomes there's still something to catch you off guard and pop you outside your comfort zone.

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mothers

When thinking of what kind of mother I aspire to be, I have so many amazing examples to draw from. First and foremost I have my own mother, of course. I hope I can be as patient, gentle-in-guidance, open-in-discussion, solid-in-support and empowering as she is, allowing my children to grow into who they are and venture out into the lives they seek to live with confidence - while also allowing them to make their mistakes, stumble and fall, pick themselves up again, and continue to grow from it all, with me being that solid-support (not a crutch or protector) throughout. An iota of what my mom has been and continues to be to me.

I also have my grandmothers, the other women who have been mothers to me throughout my life (Diane, Pam, Linda, Sandy, and the newest mother in my life - Judge's mom, to mention a few), and the oh-so many ladies I grew up with in different stages of my life, who are now mothers themselves. Each and every one has various qualities I hope to nurture and develop within myself.

From all of these women I have gained what I believe is an inkling as to what being a mother means - though I am sure I am still unaware of much of it. I do know that I have long had a strong appreciation for everything my mother - and father - have done for me both growing up and after I flew the coup (left the nest is perhaps the better term eh), and this appreciation will I am sure grow stronger as I myself become a mother, as my understanding will continue to deepen.

I am excited to see how I develop, change and grow as a mother, wife, daughter and friend.

[Windblown us top o the world Aug. 2007]

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into the 2nd trimester

Today's the day - the first day of the 2nd trimester, and the first belly pic of I'm sure many to be taken.

I realized I should have taken a picture two months ago for a proper comparison, as those of you who haven't seen me in the past year or more won't know what this picture means as much :P But no worries, as at least there is now this as a base going forward.

Though already bounding out of the first trimester uncomforts, there is still a bit to go, so as you can see in the picture I'm wearing the sea-bands I thankfully finally found here (searching online I found one guy selling them in all of Taiwan, and he just so happened to work in the same Science Park as me and Judge, go figure....then I hear from Judge's sister that some pregnancy/baby stores sell them, so it turns out that for actual motion sickness people just take pills here - explaining why none of the pharmasists we stopped by knew about them perhaps, and that these sea bands are only used by pregnant women...though not commonly discussed).

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mayzle be cattle-prodding us through

Yesterday I had my official first check-up (where the first set of tests are to take place)...technically I have already gone in four times - 1) initial visit to confirm pregnancy, 2) check because of some concerns, 3) because i got a cold and was feeling miserable, 4) because i had had a fever and wanted to confirm everything was still ok....no matter what, each time you go in for a visit you get an ultrasound done - many mothers go in almost weekly so they can see their baby, as all they have to pay is about US$5 for the "visit fee".

Anyhow, in the 'mother manual' provided to all pregnant women at about 8 weeks (where all my check-ups will be recorded, and that has general information for while you're pregnant etc) it described all the tests that would be done on this first visit, so I was expecting a thorough run-down.

First, we waited ages we get in to ultrasound - saw baby full with arms, legs, eyes, mouth, and then flexing, backwards bucking - and then heard the heart-beat. Judge's jaw literally dropped - hahaha. It was awesome.

Then waited again before getting to see the doctor, where all she did was take us through the ultrasound pictuers briefly (everything is normal), check that I am doing ok (are you doing ok? morning sickness is normal - don't need to take any meds for it [I know]), checked if we had any questions, gave us a few leaflets with information regarding possible tests we can request if we wish - all of the above done in what felt like one breath of speed-talking, and then off we went for bloodwork and urine test. No breast exam, pelvic exam, or the other physical exams listed in the manual. Hrm.

I think the doctors here are way over-patiented, and thus it's just push-push-push to get through everyone (I mean, this was already after 9pm, and there were still a schwackload of people waiting). Not quite sure I like it so much~.

Then, in this area at least, for those doctors who do not push-push-push - and who are more 'gentle' and go along with birth-plans etc, their patient list is usually double or triple, and so during their scheduled patient hours they often get pulled out for births - prolonging the wait for those scheduled to see him - as well as that if you don't book 4 or more weeks in advance you'll most likely be around number 100 or more (ie for the evening hours...meaning you'll get in to see the doctor around 11pm perhaps). At least that is what we have seen so far.

Currently not feeling so confident in the doctor and hospital following the kind of birth I want (we may look around a bit to see if somewhere else close by here will be more better), but thankfully I have found a doula, so am actually not stressing about it, because she can help me take care of it all ;P  Yay for doulas!

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financial manager aka the english go-to person

Seems I have a habit of aquiring fancy titles where the work doesn't actually due it justice.

Regional Controller - was probably technically just a senior accountant or something similar (though I would have to look into what a controller really does to be certain).

Office Coordinator - was more a project consultant where I took care of a few projects to completion one day a week.

Financial Manager - is (currently) basically an 'english secretary to the finance team', where I am:

• translating press releases from Chinese to English
• working on powerpoint presentations that will be presented to the Board of Directors
• working on scripts to accompany the ppts
• drafting and/or editing emails when the need arises - i.e. when it is to be sent to the Board or Europe
• and translating something from English to Chinese (by far the most difficult thing for me...kind of impossible really, but this is what they face when they need to translate to English so I am just sucking it up and slowly blunderig through)

Currently there are a few big cases going on that will come to a head these next few days, so perhaps later I will start to expand my job scope. But for now, I am actually quite content being 'the English go-to person', because I am way out of my legue here.

I realized it's kind of like I used to race go-carts, perhaps won a few races etc, and put 'No. 1 Racer' on my resume and sent it to Formula One...and got in. These people are so skilled and really know their stuff...and I am completely lost. And it is not just because the discussions are in Chinese, it's because this is advanced finance going on - and I am a management accountant.

But, at the same time it is pretty exciting. I took some corporate finance classes during my MBA, and of course management classes etc, and this is the real world - real mergers, real aquisitions, real people, real considerations, real strategizing. Not only oh-so different than school, but also oh-so different than my previous work experience at Cactus Club in Vancouver. This is a multinational R&D and manufacturing company, while Cactus was a local restaurant chain...service.

My goal: To absorb as much as I can, learn as much as I can, and figure out if I'd like to go further into finance or run back to management accounting (and perhaps some HR).

[my view of what is going on in the department 

- fuzzy and unclear - yet oh so wonderful :P]

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uff da

Good news is it seems like the cold has left the building! Bad news is, after a week and a half of misery (magnified by only getting to take one day off from work due to them unable to find a sub), I am now finding myself in a state of worsened pregnancy-sickness. So, what can I find to be thankful for?

• Very thankful for Judge and his taking care of me. He is my community at the moment, having to work full-time and constantly worry about me (seriously, being the husband watching the wife suffer is not an easy task~)
• Very thankful I quit the teaching jobs!
• Very thankful my new (and real) job has given me a delayed on-board start, allowing me to just stay home and rest for a few days.
• Very thankful that at least I am not worrying about miscarriage any more, as pregnancy-sickness is considered a good sign (not that lack of it is necessarily bad, but its presence is good they say)

Not so thankful for the food-smells wafting in from the neighbors kitchens.

I have one more day before I start my new job, so I am hoping Judge can find the seasickness wrist-bands today (and that they work their wonders~!), and this evening and tomorrow I will take a few more really short walks and try to eat a bit more, since perhaps the lack of movement - and food - is draining my energy.

Am trying the mind-over-matter bit, but so far matter is most definitely winning :P

[another 1st-batch Holga pic]

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getting to know our holga

For my birthday this year Judge bought me a Holga. When I opened it my heart sunk, because I'm a sheltered child and didn't know about these gems. All I saw was something that looked like a cheap toy, and was sure he had spent too much money on some piece of junk.

Thankfully, as I was looking through the information included in the package, and learning about what a Holga is and it's culture, I got more and more excited. So, we had our first get-to-know-you with our little army-green plastic box. Not quite what we were expecting, but I think the feedback is enough that the next round will be more successful!

sit-a-month

One of the first things a woman in Taiwan does when she realizes she's pregnant (if she hasn't already decided) is start investigating her sit-a-month options - if she has any options that is.

Sit-a-month is the first month after giving birth, and there are many a rule that must be followed. It is basically a month where the mother is to gain back her strength, and there is always someone who is taking care of her. There are a billion different takes on it, and each woman has her own goals for what she wants...but not every woman gets to decide for herself.

Traditionally it is the mother-in-law who helped a new mother sit-a-month (since they'd be living together anyways); either that or the new mother's mother. Today it's still often the case, but there are other choices as well, if the extended family (read: husband and mother-in-law) allow it (sounds harsh, but true...all about family harmony).

Many are choosing to go to sit-a-month centers, which are like hotels for mom's and their new-borns. There are tons of varieties of these centers, from in-baby (where baby is encouraged to stay with mom...still not too many it seems) to out-baby (where baby is only wheeled in to mom for feeding if mom breastfeeds, or for short visits, and is otherwise held in the 'baby holding area' which is staffed by a few nurses who feed, bathe and change them, so mother can rest). For about 28 to 30 days you can easily spend between US$4000 and US$6000 (including food, and some classes - ie how to bathe your bebe etc, and on-call help 24/7).

Then there is also the sit-a-month nanny who can come to your home, make your meals as per your liking, clean your house, and help with Baby as needed (as the mother-in-law or mother would be doing). This is much cheaper, at around US$1000 for the month I believe, not including grocery money.

The rules that go along with sit-a-month are (traditionally): eat only sesame oil chicken (well, a few additional items can be eaten, but most things are taboo), cannot shower or wash your hair, no reading/watching tv/going on the computer (the strain on the eyes will ruin them permanently in this fragile time), cannot go outside, no direct fan or AC, and I'm sure there're tons of other things.

If you're sitting-a-month at home, most likely the mother or mother-in-law will push for these traditions, while in the sit-a-month center they pre-boil the water so you can wash your hair safely, and they have a varied and nutritious menu. Some people are pretty sure these lax changes will have negative repercussions for the women who go to these centers later in life, however. Also, if you didn't do sit-a-month properly and later in life have some kind of ailment, often it is the inadequacy of the sit-a-month that is blamed (I'd like a scientific study on this actually, to see if the benefits of these traditions still hold true in today's world).

Most women here need the sit-a-month, where they can fully rest and heal, because they'll be going back to work probably two weeks after the month is over. And also because their husbands most likely are working 12-14 hour days, so it's good to have someone around who can help take care of you and the bebe.

Since Judge gets a full 3 days off work when we give birth (and he'll be working the shorter day at 12 hours) we've decided to opt for the nanny. This way it doesn't put a strain on his mom (if she were to do it), and we don't have to fling out the mullah on a center (which I think could get a bit dull after a while...I mean, being in your own home and getting to make decisions for yourself without pressure from the center staff does seem pretty enticing...while also getting taken care of :P). That way my little Hint-of-Lime won't be alone for a month either ;)

I'm curious though, for all you Baby Mamas out there, during your first month after giving birth, were there any specific rules for you to follow?

I've heard from States' (some midwives I guess?): First week in bed, 2nd week close to bed.

I've heard from Japan that anything goes - within the bound of common sense (what say you my Japanese peeps?).

What else do we have out there?

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good luck pads

The plan was not to mention anything until week 12 or 13, but this is just too funny to wait. Thus, this is a pre-announcement peek for those of you who actually read this thing XD

If you haven't made the connection yet - we have some big news to share with y'all: We're pregnant~! Yay!!  Tomorrow we're at 9 weeks, and we've seen the baby's heartbeat and we're told everything looks just as it should. Still, first trimester-risks are not out of the way yet, but we're feeling more confident and of course hoping and praying for a safe and healthy pregnancy all the way through.

Now, I have to just take a moment here and say: all you baby-mama's out there - no matter how old your babies are now - I commend you! I know every woman and every pregnancy is different, uff da, being pregnant ain't no walk in the park! For me first trimester is flatten-me-on-your-ass-please-lord-let-me-stay-on-the-couch-all-day-I-have-no-idea-what-I-can-eat terrible. Thank goodness for selective memory and forgetting the worse bits or there's no way I'd want to go through this again XD

Add a cold on top of it, and it equals me quitting my morning kindy job (jumping around, entertaining and trying to keep four batches of younguns' attention for 30 min. each every morning...not getting the rest I sorely need, hence a cold) and having to take this afternoon off to rest up, as well as visit the doctor and get some ok-for-bebe meds so I can go to work tomorrow.

This whole being pregnant in Taiwan brings up a schwackload of interesting issues and happenings that I get to share with you little by little - quite exciting! And I'll want to learn a bit more about how it's different on your side of the world (if you're not in Taiwan).

A current short list:
- Doctor's visits
- Sit-a-month traditions and rules
- Sit-a-month clinics
- All the other cultural tidbits that come with pregnancy and child rearing

Which brings me to todays entertainment. I had posted a question on ptt (the dos-based discussion boards), and someone wrote and congratulated me on being in the first trimester, and shared with me that she's 33 years old and they've been trying to get pregnant for about 6 months now (including taken fertility shots, eaten pills etc). She was writing me because there is an old wive's tale that says a pregnant woman in her first trimester's unused pads from an opened pack are considered good luck for those who are trying to get pregnant - called good pregnancy pads, where 'good pregnancy' has the same sound as 'good luck'...so 'good luck pads', and she asked if I would be willing to send her some good luck pads, because she's totally stressing out.

I told her that I'm sure she also knows that getting pregnant can sometimes take 6 months to a year, plus stress is a negative factor, etc, but if getting this can make her relax a bit and feel more confident, then I'm all about it.

So I wrapped up two pads, and off they went to the south of Taiwan.

Ahh, it makes me giggle just thinking about it.

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changes

I have been wanting to wait until I have some pictures, but it may take a bit longer so I thought a small update on the myriad of changes that have been happening would be appropriate to slip in first. Now, there are a lot of big items on here, hence all the exclamation marks ;)

• As of a few weeks ago Judge is officially no longer a soldier (!!!!)
• He got a job at a world-renound-world-leading semiconductor manufacturing company. Some cool facts:
• It was the first and only job he applied and interviewed for
• From application submission to offer it took him all of 3 days
• The company actually pays fair amount for the work their employees do (!!!!)
• There is a new regulation in place that requires employees to not stay later than 8:30pm (so only 12 hour days vs the 15-16+ hour days that were common before)
• We found an apartment and moved in last week
• It's technically in Judge's township (just not in 'down-town')
• It is located 10 min from his parents and grandma/auntie's place and 10-15 min scooter from his work, so it's perfect! 
• It's same style as we were in before (two-storied bachelor suite) and though a bit smaller upstairs, it has tons of closet/cabinet space all over upstairs and downstairs, so all our stuff can be tucked way rather than stacked around (!!!!)
• Also, it has continued great view - and a balcony (glass-encased with a washer and cloths-drying pole...and space to put the suitcase that cannot be stashed anywhere else)
• I FINALLY figured out and completed all (!!!) the paperwork for my joining-family resident visa and picked it up
• It has taken a *long.long* time and had many unexpected twists and turns and road-blocks and misinformations along the way...even picking it up was full of trouble: day 1 - not done ("machine broke"...do I believe them? perhaps not so much); day 2 - incomplete address; day 3 - finally correct~! 
• I am now here as a wife and don't need a working visa to work legally or have any other excuse to stay here (ie student)  (!!!)
• I decided to find a teaching job again because:
• Realistically finding an accounting job when I don't read and write Chinese businessly is, well, not realistic
• An accounting job would pay less and have more hours than an English teaching job
• I started last Monday and actually enjoy one of my classes (!!!)
• Just as I accepted this reality of having to be a teacher in Taiwan I got an interview for a financial controller position~!! I got through three interviews and have a feeling there's actually a chance I could get an offer (wow~!)
• After being summoned by Judge's dad to meet with them face-to-face a couple weeks ago I have been accepted - and the slow process of building up a relationship with his parents is finally open for effort (!!!!!)

Our Life Plan has of course continued on it's standard roller-coaster complete with flips, turns, loops and all. I am almost at a point where I am considering just taking life in 6 month increments or so, keeping the Big Picture in mind in terms of the kind of life we strive to live and general goals without getting stuck on ie. if we will be moving for our first stint in Norway in 2 years or 3 years or 5 years or ...  Life is just too tumultuous and changing right now (still) to be able to peg times down. Kind of boo to that.

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hiking it

So, we tend to do all our adventuring lazy-kind: on the scooter. The one time we did it on a bicycle was due to a misunderstanding between the two of us. Judge said bike (basically as a joke), I heard scoot and said ok without hesitation, he couldn't back down, and three days of planning later I realized it was bike, not scoot, and by then I couldn't back down, and so bike we did (half-way around the island...ducking typhoons and facing the aftermath of head-winds and torrential rain).

Last scoot into the mountains we passed by a little map that showed a two-hour hike if you did the entire thing, with lots of pictures of the different waterfalls and other scenic spots, so we decided to try it out "some time". That some time ended up being this week. We didn't get as close to the waterfalls as we'd hoped (we'd wanted to play in the water), but it was still a great afternoon - and we got our water-time on the long-cut home ;)

[loving the little fuzzy trees]

[apple-banana tree grove]

[various mushrooms on the path]

[one of the many tiny waterfalls along the trail]

[us on a couple of the many rickety bridges]

[purdy flora]

[cute little guys]

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my night at the airport

Yesterday I went to Hong Kong for the day (visa stuff). 

I live in a town, however, that doesn't have buses heading everywhere all night through like Taipei, Taichung and Tainan all have (the cities I've lived in previously), and so I had to go to the airport on the last train-n-bus Wednesday night so that I could catch my 6:30am flight the next morning (you know - frugality wins over taxi-convenience).

[Catching the last HSR (high-speed-rail) and shuttle bus to airport]

The plan was to hang out in the comfortable terminal over night. Unfortunately I somehow forgot Terminal 1 (the terminal I was flying out of) is the old terminal, and nothing like Terminal 2 which has plush couches and a lot of other goodness.

After self-checking in, making it through immigration and security - with a water bottle!, I entered the completely deserted terminal wing, just to find the air-con on full blast and seats with arm-rests at my gate. Ugh. Not how I was planning to spend my night, so I went on a search for a better spot.

Finally I found an area with armrestless seats, and air-con not set on 'Norway Summer', so I set up camp. I took out my mini-pillow that I knit on my mom's knitting machine when I was 10 or so, my eye-mask, my ear plugs, a thin zipper-hoody, and my scooter-mouth-mask, 'snuggled in' and waited for sleep.

Seems someone had other plans for me though. The air-con cranked up and it proceeded to get impossible-to-sleep cold. At 3:45 I decided I couldn't take it any more - I mean, it was goose-bumps-just-shy-of-shivering cold. Got up and tried to find a better place. Long and the short of it: I got about 15 minutes sleep that night. My advice to any other such thrill seekers: Don't do it! If you decide to camp out at Taoyuan airport, do it in terminal 2!

Getting to Hong Kong was awesome. New city - new country!, just wandering around the streets and feeling its foreignness. Totally loved it [can't wait to go back and really explore it for a few days with Judge some time]:

[Double-decker buses, red taxis, no scooters ~ we're not in Taiwan any more~!]

Was disappointed by the Bird Garden though. Had been expecting a bunch of old men with their song-birds and instead found 'bird-shops' set up (and a few old men with their song birds). Bird-shops (and pet-shops in general) make me sad. [Later I find out it's a small-typhoon day in Hong Kong, which is probably why not many old men were there].

[Bird vendors at the Bird Garden, covering the cages as it is starting to drizzle]

I then wandered over to meet up with a friend from the cross-cultural-romance (CCR) board on ptt, who treated me to a very tasty Hong Kong lunch :D 

[YUM: noodles-n-chicken leg with cheese sauce (mine); noodles-n-egg-n-red-pork with cheese sauce (Ivy's)]

After visiting Victoria Harbour we met up with another CCR girl at her hotel room for a chat and coffee, and watch the typhoon rain bucket down. When she headed off for business and it was time for me to pick up my visa and head back to the airport.

[On airport express - water streaming down the window making Hong Kong blur]

Was able to catch a flight an hour and a bit earlier than my booked seat, buuuut we ended up taking off around my original departure time due to the typhoon skies. And just like that I was back in Taiwan as a Norwegian (kinda nice!). Bus-and-trained it home, and thus my very very long 25 hour trip came to an end.

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