call out their 'names'

I am starting to get used to this little cultural tidbit. Didn't realize before just how important it was until I was actually accepted into the family. I am still more comfortable with the western 'Hi+a smile' way of greeting people though (and if it's a first time encounter then a hand-shake is usually a respectful throw-in).

Here, when us younger generation enter a room, we need to 'call' each older generationer by their title. For me on Saturday or Sunday evening family dinners, that usually means:

• grandma aka a-po
• a-third-uncle-in-some-way-on-grandma's-side (still not quite clear to me)....san-shu-gong
• 'mother's-sibling-who-is-xx-in-the-sibling-line' [only uncles here, and if only one uncle present can drop the 'big' '2nd' '3rd' before uncle aka just jioe jioe because all the uncles are older than Judge's mom]
• 'mother's-sibling-who-is-xx-in-the-sibling-line's-spouce' [here only aunties of course, and again if only one can drop the 'big' '2nd' '3rd' etc...aka just jioe-ma]
• and of course when I see Judge's parents that means mom aka mama or just ma, and dad when he's here aka baba or just ba

For cousins it's a lot easier. Their titles are all 'little sister' and 'little brother' (Judge and his sister are the oldest kids on this side of the family) and we are not required to 'call' them as we are older than them. Also, we can call them by their actual names if we wish - though I tend to find the sibling title easier to begin with at least :P

Oh, and interesting point is that I should call Judge's sister 'older sister' even though she is younger than me - because she is Judge's older sister I go by his position in reference to all relatives. I'm actually 100% fine doing this one - also interesting :P

Now, when you 'call' someone, you do not need to add a hello or hi. This is where I kind of got tripped up at first, just throwing the titles out there (that and timing it when others are entering the room same time as you - I was a bit timid and so mine would be drowned out).

So I've learned and am getting comfortable with the fact that all you have to do is make sure you say their title when you come in the room (or they come in the room) for the first time, and that you say it loud enough for them to hear it. It's their choice if they want to acknowledge it or not.

You can also switch it up to "mom, you're home" or whatever you want really, as long as you add the title first.

I also have to be careful when I am speaking to Judge in reference to his parents - and they are in earshot - that I do not say "give it to your mom" (ie. when we are at a restaurant and he is closer) but rather say "give it to mom". Thus I am training myself by now trying to only refer to her as 'mom' even if it is just the two of us, because it's hard to have your brain turned on at all times.

I have to admit that all the extended family titles are a lot easier for me than mom and dad, because I have called many a person auntie and uncle...but only ever called my mom 'mom' and my dad 'dad' before. It's getting easier as our relationships are developing, but it may take a little while until it flows smoothly.

Another related point I'm getting used to is the 3rd person speak. For example, as a teacher, parent, auntie or uncle etc, you will often say to those younger generationers "Do you want auntie to read you a story?" or "Mom said you can only have one" instead of I or me. It will even go so far as "Mom wants you to give that to mom when you are done" etc. Though in Norwegian this one is common when kids are little, once we grow up it is not so common any more.

Also, instead of "Johanna, what do you like to eat?" such a question is often posed as "What does Johanna like to eat?", which threw me for a loop until recently because I thought the person was asking Judge about me (ends up that Judge answered for me each time because I was 'ignoring' the various questionners). Until I realized this mistake, I was always a bit unhappy that they'd ignore me and ask Judge these questions when I was right there.

Ah, gotta love it. No matter how familiar a culture becomes there's still something to catch you off guard and pop you outside your comfort zone.

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