the long awaited mind shift

Finally. A week or so ago Eliana decided she was finished wearing diapers. After two accidents downstairs at my mom's the first day (after which her and my mom agreed she should wear a diaper, which she wore up until the next time she had to go to the bathroom upstairs...her not wearing a diaper down there is not totally uncommon, as is her having accidents), she's been diaper free and accident free day and night.

I was a little worried she had lost touch with her body, because sometimes she would say she hadn't peed in her diaper when she actually had, or she would eventually have an accident almost guaranteed if she was without her diaper, but it really seemed it was just that she hadn't made the decision to be done with diapers yet.

In any event, I'm happy, as I was starting to wonder (for a long while now) how long she would keep the diaper-gig going.

She was about 2 years and 8 months old. And interestingly enough this is almost the exact same age Leona had her mind shift - E's just one month younger.

Ironically I just happened to buy a pack of one size bigger diaper for her a week or so before she made her no-diaper decision, which I was waiting to open until...I don't know why I was waiting. But it's a good thing I did, otherwise she could very likely be too excited about getting new diapers to be willing to give them up just yet.

She, of course, is oblivious to just how happy this being done with diapers has made me.

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the inefficiency of 'knock on wood'

Yeah, so the whole diaper-free days lasted all of a short week (after I wrote that last post she took most naps as well as went outside a couple times without a diaper - basically as long as she had gone pee right before).

Yesterday and today Eliana peed off the potty twice each day...at least once (first time) because she was too focused on something (I think), and then the other times just testing out seeing how long she can hold it (I think), because both days, after that first time, she told me repeatedly she had to go to the bathroom, we'd go, she'd sit down on the potty and a second or 20 later get up and say 'jije' (finished), without actually going. Sometimes she's say she needed to pee only two or five minutes later, and then do the same thing, all the way until she peed on the floor/chair.

Yesterday after dinner, a few minutes after she went on the floor in the kitchen ('uhoh-uhoh' she says to me as she and pointed and she walked away), I hear her go into the bath-room (not WC) and close the door. I assumed she had gone in there to play with water in the little foot-sink that is perfect height for her, and planned on finishing washing up the last few dishes before going in to her. Judge had seen her walk over to that area of the hallway but didn't see her so opened the door to see if she had gone into the bath-room, and there she was, sitting on the potty, eagerly tapping the screen of his phone (!!) while finishing up a 'number two'. Ha.

Anyhow, this afternoon, after the second time peeing not-on-the-potty today, I told her I was going to help her put a diaper and her onesie on (the onesie so that she can't take her diaper off - as she prefers running around the house naked), since she was not peeing on the potty. When she chooses to pee on the potty every time again then she can not wear a diaper again too if she wants. She was none too happy about this. Like kick-and-wriggle-and-scream-but-want-to-do-so-in-my-arms non-happy. After a good 10 minutes she signed she wanted to nurse, and fell promptly asleep...at 4:25pm. Ay.

So I think that is that for now. We'll go a few days avec diaper 100% of the time, unless she negotiates otherwise.

[Hanging upsidedown as I am trying to get a clear picture of her extra tooth that just started showing itself recently - previously her first left upper lateral inciser was extra slim, and there was a small empty spot between it and her central inciser...now she has a second one growing in that empty space. Googled extra teeth and it seems to be rare but no biggy.]

 

 

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diaper-free days (at almost 18 months)

This time around I've done EC super differently than last, leaving it no-stress. With Leona, I tried to give her diaper-free time often (not bare-bum, just no diaper), especially after she turned 18 months old, to try and get her completely diaper-free during the 'golden window', and though I didn't get frustrated with her choice to pee in her pants, it wasn't a party having to change her several times a day - and I don't think it could have been great fun for her either, looking back. I also think us doing travels and having big life-upheavals played a big role in her going from consistently using the potty to not, two or three times.

Anyhow, this time, initially because we lived in houses where it wasn't convenient to have to clean pee off of carpeted floors and non-leather couches I did the whole EC thing the same, but just 100% diapered.

That means I would take Eliana to the potty whenever she signed she needed to go, as well as take her when I thought she needed to go - and then either she would go, just sit, or clearly show she didn't want anything to do with the bathroom right then and we'd go do something else.

A few months ago Eliana started really resisting wearing a diaper, but I told her that because she still used (i.e., went pee and poop) her diaper sometimes, she still needed to have it on.

Now, Eliana's pretty much had dry diapers after sleeps for a couple months or more already, as well as gone on the potty/toilet most of the time, just 2-4 times in the diaper a day. After taking a shower though, when she'd run naked out to Judge to get her diaper and clothes on, she'd usually happily take the opportunity to pee a tiny bit, gleefully telling us immediately afterward.

But that stopped happening, and last Friday or Saturday I just stopped putting a diaper on her during the day.

We don't leave the house really, and when we have, e.g., visited the kindergarten once, she told me she had to pee - other than that we haven't been gone long enough for the need to arise. That being said, I foresee us still using a diaper if (when) we go out, just because of the layers upon layers upon layers of clothes she needs to wear, and the cold, thus making it inconvenient to christen neighbors' lawns etc.

I am toying with the idea of not having a diaper on for sleeps, but think that for now, as she hasn't requested/demanded to be diaper-free then too, that it is easier...just in case. A wet diaper is much easier to deal with than changing sheets.

The key during this period is to be aware of her regular body-schedule as well as her timing - e.g., if it's been a while since last time, ask her if she needs to go. She's not yet at the stage where she automatically answers 'no' to questions, and so asking, rather than saying 'let's go', works perfectly.

Four days in and not a single accident - knock-on-wood.

[It's finally (?) snowed here, and rather than jumping up and down with excitement, itching to go outside and play, the girls ran and got this bin for me to fill up. I agree - much less cumbersome clothes and it not being cold makes a big difference in the enjoyment ... so not-Norwegian of us.]

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Eliana's current vocab (~1.5y)

Eliana's current spoken vocab is at about 30 words. She, like Leona did, economizes on several of them, as you will see below.

• u'oh (u'oh...ooops)
• nanana/nana (Leona and Eliana)
• moh (move and more)
• da-g'n (tracktor and truck and now also sometimes Totoro, which can either mean Totoro or that she wants to watch videos or look at pictures on the computer or the phone)
• bebeh (baby)
• bah or boh (bird and boat and book and bike)
• gah (car)
• bah boh (bubble and diaper)
• bm bm (balloon and Ole Brumm - Whinny the Poo in Norwegian)
• beh doh (play dough)
• jije (finished - where the j is a soft one...not y, but like in Bahji)
• ji (see - as in 'i wanna see' or 'look at this')
• nano (no more, and milk in Chinese)
• a-oo (hello)
• yayaya (takk for maten [thank you for the food - a phrase one says in Norway when one is finished eating; Eliana will not stop saying it until both Judge and I have said 'velbekomme' (you're welcome)])
• gæ gah goh (vær så god - you're welcome, in general terms)

For the last two she uses the correct inflection, of course.

And of course she still has the ones from before:

• mama
• papa/baba
• momo (mormor)
• no
• yah
• nah (good night)
• hah (hot)
• koh (cold)
• ah'oo (owl)

She gives kisses that are often lean-in air-kisses, saying 'mmmmah', and she still uses sounds and signs a lot of animals, as well as eat, water, bath, paint, sleep, pee, poop and fart.

Speaking of pee and poop, she currently goes on the potty by own initiation or by me asking about 90% of the time (of course, now that I wrote this it will all change, as did our routine and sleep issues almost immediately after I wrote about them).

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In other news, I suddenly found out, by utter accident, how to make this really wonderfully warm and wind-protective had work so it doesn't constantly fall down in her face. Here, Leona is sporting the "I can't see anything" look back in the day, while below Eliana is sporting the new method:

 

 

 

 

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Taiwan - Innvik (and Leona and Eliana updates)

So much to catch up on! Not sure if I should just do a quick re-cap and get up to speed, or do a series of posts. I think…a ‘quick’ re-cap.
Journey back to Norway: 42 hour door-to-door trip. 7 pieces totaling 110kg checked luggage; 3 pieces totaling 30kg carry-on.

• It boded ill for what was to come that I wanted to take a nap along with the girls on the drive to the airport in Taiwan. Super tired and just starting out. Ugh.
• Thankfully we had no trouble checking in our luggage despite being some kilos over our limit (just a reminder that next time flying with them car-seats count as our quota)
• Arriving in Hong Kong we had to walk approximately one kilometer (at least. No joke) to get to the transfer desk to get our boarding passes on to Turkey and Oslo. Tired.
• 12 hours to Turkey - we were lucky enough to get a basket for Eliana to sleep in…just too bad she she’s super mobile so I wasn’t able to sleep really while she was in the basket in fear that she would flip over and then out of the basit; I was able to relax at least. On the flip-side she was only ok to sleep there a short stint, the rest of the time she had to be held (but at least she didn’t need to nurse the whole flight like Leona had done when we moved to Norway last time at the same age)
• Once we got to Oslo and only had a five hour wait before our 6 hour bus-ride and 1 hour taxi-ride, I felt like we were home already. It was strange, this time around it was though I was looking at Norway totally differently than last time. Last time we were here perhaps a year, perhaps three, and the uncertainty kind of made me hold back to belonging, in a way. This time, looking around the airport at people and things, I had a sense of settling in. It was great.
• The bus-ride was FANTASTIC. We all slept the whole trip basically, and the girls both had car-seats so I was arms-free. It was bliss.

And then just like that we were back in Innvik, welcomed by my mom who had come down to help and visit for a week.

 

It ended up being a week of sick, unfortunately. And a day or two after my mom headed back to Tromsø I threw out my back.

 

The stark contrast between the convenience of Taiwan in terms of transportation (we had access to a car and valid driver’s licenses) and medical care (Chinese and western medicine doctors available morning, afternoon, and evening seven days a week pretty much, and emergency visits easy to get to too when necessary) to what we have here (no car, no valid driver’s licenses, doctor here in the village only two days a week…which is better than I expected actually) coupled with the sicknesses, injuries, and stress of Judge’s job-hunt, well, suffice it to say we were feeling pretty down.

 

Now, though, we’re all feeling a lot better, and settling in to the village life of not-so-uber-convenient-but-nice-all-the-same.

 

Yesterday all of a sudden everything kind of got moving for us, as I finally got a hold of the adult-education center that holds the free Norwegian classes for immigrants. Today Judge took the bus in to the town his classes are held and got the paperwork done. Now we just have to wait a few days for his bus-pass so he can ride for free (yay! Otherwise it would cost us NOK140 or so each round-trip with a discount-pass he could have gotten – at 22 days/month that would have been a lot of money for our non-income family right now) and he will take the 50-min bus-ride to Stryn Monday through Friday, getting 19 hours of Norwegian classes and maybe 2 hours of social classes each week.

 

We’re super excited about this. He has 600 free hours, 300 of which he has to complete within the next 2 years otherwise they all expire. We now suddenly hope to stay here at least 7-8 months so he can complete all 600 of them, as once he starts working it will be hard to find the time to study. This also takes the pressure off of us in terms of finding him a job. Not that we will let up in the search, but we don’t need to stress about it right now at least.

 

And in terms of the job-hunt, we’ve re-vamped his two of his cover letter templates a few nights ago, making them a lot stronger for process and mechanical engineering positions, as there are way more of these compared to material technology ones. We’ll see if it helps. The engineering job-market is in a slump right now, or so we’ve heard, so we’re also looking at other alternatives.

 

Actually, one of our 'ideally'ies is he’d find a job around here. Innvik is a long-shot, but perhaps in Stryn (the town where he’s going to take Norwegian classes). We’d be totally down with living there long term. Mentioned it to an aunt of mine who lives here in Innvik and is connected with everyone, so who knows, maybe something will trickle down the grape-vine :)  Other ideally'ies are Oslo and Trondheim...and Tromsø to a certain extent.

 

In other news. Leona decided she was done with diapers during the day a week or so before we left Taiwan. I’ve been waiting for this a long time, as I knew her use of diapers was just her choice. So we are now going on about 1 month of diaper-free days, with only three or so accidents. We are also going on 2 weeks of diaper-free nights – also her choice, and (knock-on-wood) accident free so far. Pretty cool. Yes, it is a bit late considering she was diaper-free at 20 months the first time, but with our upheaval kind of life-style it’s not surprising really.

 

And Eliana, well she LOVES food. Especially feeding herself. Broccoli, califlower, bread, banana, all a big hit. And then of course rice-porriage with sweet potato and carrots (no milk), but that's one that I'm not letting her try to get in her mouth on her own quite yet ;)

 

She lets us know she wants to eat by saying ‘um um’, lets us know she wants to nurse by signing nurse and saying amamama (or so), can now sit herself up by herself (she was sitting on her knees for a long time if she had something to push herself up on), and of course standing and crawling and investigating like there’s no tomorrow. She loves shaking her head, especially if she can knock it against something (like the back of her chair) while she's doing it. She has all her four front teeth (the two top ones were breaking during our trip), and one or two more almost breaking. And today she discovered clapping – that she can make sound by whacking her hands together. Cutest thing ever.

[Leona trying to keep her stuff out of reach from Eliana]

[Leona making a new sign: snowing]

[Leona wearing her auntie Katrina's spring/fall suit]

 

I also applied for Leona’s kindergarten spot for the fall today. Actually, funny that. I got a call from the head guy of the kindergarten today, saying that he had heard we had been by yesterday (we had done a walk-by to scope it out a bit), and that we may be wanting to apply for a spot, so he had done some investigative work to get my number and was hoping it was ok that he called me, because today was the last day to apply for spots, and if we didn’t apply today, the chances of getting a spot here in Innvik would be practically nill – we would only get a spot in Utvik if we decided to apply later.

 

It is something I love about living in a small village like this. I am a bit unsure who he spoke with…if it was my neighbor/relative or more likely the mom of an old classmate of mine who works (worked?) at the elementary school…which is right by the kindergarten. In any event I was impressed he found my number, as our numbers are listed under my mom’s name at the moment. Then I realized he may have got it from the flyer I posted on the bulletin board outside the convenient store saying we want to buy tripp-trapp chairs and some other stuff. He was worried I’d think he was meddling too much, but I was super grateful. I love the look-out-for-each-other that you get living in a small community like this.

 

And there you are updated again.

 

 

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ECing - it keeps going and going and going

The never ending elimination communication journey. With Leona and all the changes and instability in her life I believe this is a part of herself she knows she can control at least. For the past two months almost, this has meant control not going to the bathroom on the toilet or the potty. If I give her the option of going on the grass or rocks she’s all game some of the time at least (so people passing by the house may find it odd that I am holding her in the squat position, bare-bottomed, and her peeing on the grass by our front porch when it is obvious a fine, functioning toilet is in reachable distance).

Originally Judge and I were planning on just continuing to have her go diaper free during her non-sleeping (and non-travelling) hours, no matter how long she decided to go in her pants rather than on the toilet, and try not to get frustrated about her choice.

And a choice it is, I am certain, as she has been consistently pants-clean twice already – the first time for several weeks in January, which was ‘ruined’ by our trip to Taiwan, and then again the last few weeks before Eliana was born.

We’ve had tons of going-in-the-pants these past weeks, sometimes maybe four times a day even with me saying ‘Do you want to go pee on the toilet, potty or on the grass?’ rather than asking ‘Do you need to go pee?’ (often she will answer ‘no’ to the first question, so the options-giving doesn’t work as it ‘should’). Recently we had a day, though, where there were no pants that needed to be changed; however, all her trips to the lawn or the toilet were instigated by me.

Despite a day of ‘success’ we have changed our game-plan because I read a blog post and an article that was linked to in the post that made me re-think the whole situation. After discussing it with Judge I suggested we give her the choice of underwear or a diaper every time we change her diaper or she goes to the bathroom.

It totally took the stress out of the situation for me, and I think for Leona as well, because that day she went to the bathroom on the toilet the whole day, and the streak has continued (though not 100% all the time…and it has just been a couple days). So it is truly all about her havingcontrol and no pressure from us, as it should be.

Now, in terms of Eliana, we’ve started the journey as well – from day one actually (though in the beginning it was just giving her extra time between diaper changes and cuing her when there was some action), and I am continuing despite that article – not that I am dismissing it, but I need time to re-read it and re-think about it in terms of us and how we follow ECing, because I am pretty positive ECing can be done in a way that does not result in the issues outlined in the article (chronic constipation, small bladders, bedwetting, etc.) that are mentioned can occur when you potty train before the age of three.

[one of the places Leona was cool to pee at - the gravel parking lot by the dock behind the store where we stop by to throw rocks into the fjord almost every day]

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poot ... papoo poppy

Back on ECing...though I don't know if it's called that anymore since Leona's turning two in a few days.

Anyhow, before we left for Taiwan, she had a few weeks of practically zero misses at home, or so. The first couple weeks in Taiwan we also didn't use a diaper most times when out and about and it was totally fine. Then she started peeing more and more often in her pants, and ever since we got back it's pretty much continued that way. But we don't want to go back to her wearing a diaper at home, as we don't think that is conducive for anything either.

Thing is, we know she is choosing this. And it isn't just pee now, but also number two. Not all thetime, but often enough that it is almost frustrating because we don't know how to get her to want to choose differently.

For a while it worked that she started saying 'purple' (papoo) - it is her favorite color, still, and just so happens to be the color of her potty. So it was fun for her to say she had to go 'poot' on the 'papoo poppy', but that just lasted a couple days. Yesterday we went through about four sets of clothes. Today, we actually had no misses. Go figure!

Not expecting it to end any time soon, as baby will be born, then we will move a month after, and then move again a month and a half later, and then again about two months later. So many life-upheavals are not exactly conducive to becoming potty trained.

So I guess we will just plod along as we have been doing, no shaming, no coercing, no happy-dances, no rewards, just 'poop and pee go in the potty', and 'please tell us before you have to pee or poop' type statements. All she has to do is choose.

[Alother picture taken last weekend out at Djupvik]

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weekend round-up

First off: on Tuesday we got (drum-roll please) Judge's joining family resident visa in the mail! That's right folks, not only did the process go beyond lightning quick (in visa-processing terms, and even more so in Norwegian government paper-terms), but the lady who had called me the preceding Friday had found a loop-hole I had not thought of that made it all follow the letter of the law. Thank goodness for good people, as she could just have easily rejected our application. The loop-hole: "Requirement for previous earnings was dropped as the sponsor (me) had extended her stay in Taiwan after completing her studies in order to marry and give birth" (if you were a student the preceding year you are exempt from the previous earnings' requirement). Though not technically how I was thinking it at the time, it is in effect true, and we most definitely accept her analysis of the situation (!). So that also means: Hello Taiwan in February :D

In potty-news: After a week of consistently keeping Leona diaper-free during non-excursions and non-sleeps, there is most definitely improvement in the pee-department. Yay! I realized, though, that saying we're 'potty training' may be a bit of a stretch, seeing as she still wears a diaper as much as she does, so really perhaps we have just kicked up the ECing to another level. In any event, once we feel comfortable with the at-home situation we will expand it to out-of-house as well, and then nap, and lastly night sleeps.

And in other-baby news, I still feel junk most days when we get to around noon and onward, though not near as bad as before. So that is good! I can now more actively play/help with Leona, and can even help with the dishes sometimes.

I'm also on various hunts, some of which have already been successfully completed. For example:

• baby carrier - got a 2nd hand sand-colored manduca (the color being better for sunny Taiwan days - and the 2nd hand meaning we can eat two *fantastically delicious* dinners in Taiwan on the savings)
• 2nd (*not* hand) car seat - got a maxi-cosi mobi that is rear-facing from 9-25 kg (so awesome!)
• Funny story that. After purchasing it online I had forwarded the purchase confirmation to my mom with the following email (in full):
• So we've bought a rear-facing car-seat for Leona that's good from 9-25kg, so 'mini' can use the one Leona has now :) We will be trying to bring the new one to TW this time so that she can sit rear-facing while we're there, and then we'll take the little one we have in TW back to Norway for mini to use while we're here, then just bring Leona's current one to TW in the fall. That's the plan at least ;)
• Got an email back from Jollyroom's customer service: Hi Johanna. That's great! Feel free to contact us if you have any questions.
• Oooooops, I guess that was 'reply' not 'forward'.
• double stroller - am thinking I will wait until we're in Taiwan, as it will be cheaper there, and more size-appropriate (in terms of walking down the street or through stores). I do think it most definitely will be necessary when we live in China, though I may just even wait until we've been there a month or so to really get a feel for our needs

And I'm actually looking forward to January sales this year, as I want to see if I can get Leona and mini some 50% off duplo stuff - because duplo rocks! As well as some maternity clothes I guess, as I will be needing that sooner rather than later.

Lastly, yesterday we headed over to my mom's co-worker's home for a lovely noon visit (she has two girls around 8 and 11 - I think, who really like Leona). So I got Leona all dressed up, 2nd time ever since we got to Norway (1st time was 17th of May):

[She is such a ham when she fake-talks on the phone]

[Note she only gets to use Judge's phone, which is a good ol' Nokia, not smart-kind at all, yet she can act as enraptured in it as we are in our screens]

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3-day potty training

There is the golden window for potty training toddlers - between 18 and 22 months old (or so the saying goes). The reason this timeframe is so ideal is that the younguns are mobile and communicative enough to be able to take charge of the process, or at least fully participate, while yet young enough to be mostly happy to listen to you - not as strong-willed as a 2.5 or 3 year old.

Now, because we've been ECing Leona - with varying intensity and 'success' - since she was 2.5 months old, she's also already quite aware and communicative when she wishes to be.

And truth be told I've been wanting to potty train her for quite a while now (ok, I admit, I had hoped she'd be diaper free - and consistently miss free - before she turned 1, but that fell by the way-side), but since Judge is the one at home with her during the days I've not really brought it up as it would require some attention and effort/follow-up on his part.

However, last weekend I mentioned my desire to try potty training her - as well as the golden window bit, and Judge's response was: Why didn't you mention [the golden window] before? Let's do it!

So since I'm still on 40% sick-leave, where I stay home on Friday's, we decided to use this 3-day weekend to try the 3-day potty training method.

Actually, all we did was tell her she won't be wearing a diaper during the day any more (except for during her nap for now still), and took her diaper off when she woke up, and asked her to let us know when she had to pee or poop.

I also tried to feed her as much water as she happily would drink, and tried to be close to her most of the time and very aware of her...without hoovering and asking her every five min if she had to pee. But other than that we didn't do anything special (the 'real' 3-day potty training method has lots of tricks up its sleeves).

To be honest I was a bit apprehensive about trying this, because a couple days before The Weekend we had taken her diaper off a bit before her bath, and both times she had peed on the bed without any show of being aware of it. But by postponing it her awareness of herself would just diminish, not improve, so figured 'let's do it!' was the right idea.

So this is how the weekend went.

Friday: She had her second wake - and diaper removal - at 9. By 11 o'clock I had changed her pants four times. By bedtime that evening we'd had a kazillion pant-changes with a track-record of 100% non-communication about the pees (but 100% [1x] number two in the toilet).

At first I thought she really had totally lost touch with herself due to the diaper soaking it up so well, but then I realized it wasn't fully that, as she would run into the bedroom, happily yell bye-bye, close the door, and a few seconds later open it with her happy 'here I am!' face...and I notice she just peed. She did this three times. She would also sit down on the couch and be still for a moment, and yes, have peed (twice). And more.

I was ready to give up for this try, thinking maybe because my milk has lessened that she is feeling insecure or something, and thus it not be an ideal time to potty train.

But then I figured I would tough it out these three days.

So Saturday: diaper off at 9 again, peed on the potty. Peed again on the potty at around 12 (! now that was a long wait compared with yesterday...and no misses in between), and so on. Total of two misses (pees - once at the supermarket) and all the rest on the potty or in the toilet.

What did we do different on Saturday? I brought her potty out to the livingroom so that it was visible and accessible at all times. So sometimes she'd signal, and head right over to the potty, or bring the potty to one of us while signaling.

On to Sunday: diaper off just after 8, and quite the good start, with about four signalings and pees in the potty, then a partial-in-time poo, but then five non-communicated pee-in-pants in a row (two of which were on the bed...we have - once again - learned our lesson). This was just the morning, pre afternoon nap. She was a bit unstable during this time as well - emotionally, so may have had an effect. Then a few more 'close the bedroom door' misses, and a few in the potty, and that was a wrap.

Overall, though, I feel it went pretty well. We weren't expecting zero misses from the start, and I really think if we keep it up and are consistent (without making it a guilt or stress point) the misses will become less and less pretty quickly.

Most importantly, both Judge and I are on the same page regarding our game-plan for this (as tends to be the case when it comes to how we want to raise our kids - especially after we've discussed it), so we can provide her with a safe support.

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ECing our 18 month old in the arctic

Been a while since we visited the EC front.

For the longest time, we weren't really anywhere with the ECing. It had fallen pretty far off the map - not so much in my heart, but in practicality since I wasn't home with her all the time working on it part-time.

It had gotten to the point where I would still take her to the potty every time she signed, but her actually going then was far and few between. But rather than give up I just focused on no pressure on her, no stress on me, and just keeping it up at that very low-key level.

And then the last few months it has suddenly picked up drastically again. I think it may have to do with routines and decisions - meaning we follow her lead as much as we can in many respects, so that she has some control over her life. Also because she is so extremely clear in her communication, you can't really ignore her - or if you do ignore her you'd have to feel a bit bad about it I'd think.

So for the last while she lets us know she has to use the bathroom probably about 75% of the time she needs to use it during the day: She will pat her chest and look at us expectedly, then when we say lets go to the bathroom she runs to the bathroom with us, helps pull down her pants a little, dictates which utility she wishes to use (her potty or the little toilet-seat insert on the big toilet), if it's the toilet-seat insert she signs that she needs toiletpaper, so we tear off one square and give it to her, she sometimes pretends to blow her nose and then stuffs it down into the toilet, and when she's done she lets us know, we wash her bum and hands, stand her on the floor and pull up her pants, she dries her hands on the towel, often dries her mouth as well, and then walks out, closes the door, and on to the living room and pulls at the drawer where her changing pad and diapers are, we lay the changing pad down, she lays down semi-on it, and then we put her diaper on. Routine. Important.

The other 25% go in the diaper, and she will then often let us know she wants to change her diaper (pull at her diaper) and when we confirm with her, she runs over to the drawer and follows the system as above.

She doesn't go to the bathroom every time she says she has to, but a good 80% of the time she does I'd say.

Now, at 18 months, she's actually entered the golden age for potty training, so I have been toying with the idea. I know I want to do it now within the next four months before the golden age passes, but it's one of those things me and Judge have to have a good discussion about first, and make sure we're on the same page.

A few things may point to waiting a month or two is a good idea, as she cannot 100% control it - we have to help her with her clothes (this could be an easy fix: just let her wear pants), open the bathroom door (easy fix would be leave the potty outside the bathroom door - but it's not as nice an environment to do one's business)...and then she wouldn't be able to use the toilet-seat insert that she enjoys so much - so perhaps get a little step-up for her to climb up, but it is still a bit beyond her motor skills to be able to climb up, turn around and sit down on the toilet.

Another problem is, for example, sometimes I've put the potty in the windowsill so she can sit there and look out, and she has decided she's done or wants to move somewhere else, and if I am not close by she just tears the potty from under her, where if there was something inside it would basically be flung out across the entire room.

We could of course do day-time full-time EC, meaning diaper-free, and just continue as we are now, following her lead but being an active part in the process, and then as her motorskills develop hand the entire process over to her.

Again, something to discuss~~


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still waiting for any hint of summer

Seems my high-school and parallell-moving friend (we've followed each other from Canada to Taiwan to Europe and next very possibly to China) has a knack for choosing the worst time to visit the arctic. Not only did she not get to see the northern lights - since it doesn't get dark any more, but neither did she get to see the midnight sun, as for the past four it's just been gray upon white - snow, slush and hail, accompanied by lots of wind. So instead of enjoying the beautiful arctic nature, we got to spend a cozy three days inside. Not that I feel too bad for her, as she's been enjoying alps and other European goodness these past few years ;)

(Arctic) spring is totally here though - we're on the cusp of a green explosion with almost a visible hour-by-hour difference in the number of budding trees. And today when I walked home from work there were only a very few meters of soft snow to walk through - that and lots of meters of marshy mud of course. But most of the path is just awesome goodness. Oh how good it feels!

And in Leona news: She is now 13 months old. I realized a while ago that she actually said her first word a few months ago: hot - or rather: 'a. She says it when she touches the heater, when the water is hot when I wash her bum, and when she eats something a bit too hot.

She has also been saying 'Leona Lion' for a while...not quite sure when she started actually, but realized it a little while ago: Nana. And then there's the every-so-sweet 'mama' and 'mamma'.

I heard her practicing papa too the other night as she was talking herself to sleep (practicing her p's:  'p' 'p'). But still whenever anyone says 'papa' for her to repeat she comes back with 'mama' heheh.

On the ECing front, we're back on track again, to a certain extent. She still says she has to go to the bathroom way often - she really totally *loves* sitting on the potty by the sink and opening the cupboard to find her bath toys lined up on the shelf. First the expectant look at me in the mirror before she reaches for the cupboard door, then the pure joy when seeing those little plastic toys. Utter cuteness.

But at the same time she actually goes a lot more often on the potty as well, again, rather than just in her diaper. It was actually after reading this and making sure I not only relax myself, but also visualizing her going, that there's been more consistency. Interesting, no?

Then there's her signing, of course. Her big ones now, besides the usual suspects, are 'sleepy time' - she will sign this when she feels its about time to go to bed or take a nap, 'where is it?' when she can't find something she's looking for, and 'finished' (this one still a bit unclear, but has cropped up more and more lately).

And to round it all off, a few pics from our national day (17th of May):

[Knitted 'bunad' knitted by mom's coworker for her grand daughter who outgrew it after one wear]

[Hurra!]

[And a side-note: the snow is *seriously* coming down right now. Like big, fluffy flakes kind. The kind I tend to love, though not feeling the joy right now :P ]



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diaper free

The coordination between signing potty, sitting on the potty, and the timing of the actual 'eliminations' has been off for a while now. Though I try not to get disappointed, hidden in my heart I do (?) ... or something less than ecstatic at least. Often she will sign after she has peed, in which case after a dry spell on the potty the barely-wet diaper of course has to be eliminated itself. 

I thought maybe it was partially due to her quite enjoying our trips to the bathroom, where she would sit on the potty on the counter by the sink and take things in and out of the cupboard and play with various toys. So, I started to bring the potty into the living-room (also because it is more convenient, seeing as she signs potty all.the.time).

Then I started to think that part of it may be the fact that we've switched to disposable diapers here in Norway - that perhaps this makes it more difficult for her to quite catch when exactly she's peeing. 

To try to get a handle on it, I've started to let her go diaper free sometimes. Well, 'sometimes' may be a bit of an exaggeration - today was the second time, and she had about 1.5 hours of her bum literally swimming free in her pants, after her afternoon nap.

Our track-record during and after the diaper-free time: 3 pees on the floor, 3 in the potty, 1 number-2's on the potty, and maybe 5 (?) potty-sittings with no action - other than playing with toes and toys:

[Mouth full of banana, Leona-Lion in hand, enjoying her potty experience to the fullest]

Compared to all the dry potty-sitting she's been enjoying over the past longesque while, this was not too shabby!

And I think it's good for her to get some real air circulating around her toosh-area.

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an EC motivator

In Taiwan I used cloth diapers for the most part. Washed them by hand mostly. No, not down by the river.

It wasn't such a big deal because I was ECing Leona and so there'd just be maybe 3-5 slightly wet inserts per day that I would rinse'n'wash. The shell could last a day or even two - though I tended not to let it go past a day. Then, for nights I'd use a disposable (so we wouldn't have to do a full wake-up and diaper change mid-sleep/grog).

I'd like to say the main motivator for the cloth diapers was the environment, but to be honest it was more that disposables cost around NTD 5 each. Of course if we look at the fact I was willing to spend NTD 30-50 a day on a yummy tea-drink, NTD 5 per diaper isn't so bad...her whole daily diaper consumption would equal my one drink or less.

But the mind works in mysterious ways.

Because we were ECing, if the disposable diaper was just a little damp, which most often was the case, it would tug at my frugal heartstrings when I'd check if she needed to go, as there's no way I'd put such a diaper back on her after. Poof, NTD 5 was gone without being used to it's full capacity. Ouch!

For some reason letting her keep a slightly peed-in diaper on until it was heavier seemed ok - assumption being a slightly peed-in diaper wasn't really uncomfortable for her as absorbancy is strong in those things.

There were no such qualms with the cloth diapers though. For one, if it was just a little damp, I wanted to get it off her as fast as possible - the aim was to always have dryness for her. And every time I had to wash an insert my heart would sing a little song "NTD 5 saved - wohooooo!".

Coming to Norway, land of the expensive, I was sure cloth diapers would feel even better for me here. But surprise surprise, if you go for the store-brands (ie. for Coop it's Xtra) you can get a schwacklaod of items on the cheapcheapcheap. Sure, for the "mega" diapers, quality is leagues below the pee-stripe and poop-catcher-band we enjoyed on the disposables in Taiwan, but that fades into oblivion when we get 58 diapers for NOK 20.

No, that is not a type-o, it really does say twenty kroner. Same as a can of coke costs. Giving us 3 diapers on the krone, and thus when comparing purchasing and earning power et al., rather than a 1:3 Taiwan:Norway ratio we're realistically at about 1 diaper Taiwan for the cost of 10 diapers Norway.

And because there's major recycling going on the only stuff that's heading to the landfill from us are the disposables I almost feel no qualms about is. Hrm. Actually I basically try to just not think about that aspect of it all, and rather enjoy being able to use disposables and EC to my heart's content, because if I do think about it qualms start to rise.

Byebye cloth diapers! Reselling them here in Norway doesn't give much back to the bank though, unfortunately. Good thing I got them on a steep sale in Taiwan then, and since they're already a sunk cost then anything I get back is good.

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Taken two months ago, Jan 21st when we were getting ready to head out on our failed sun-hunt. Long ago, I know, but oh-so cute! (Currently lacking newer pictures...will remedy this soonest.)

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more on the signage

Leona is so excited about communicating. Or rather, excited that I finally caught on that she'd been signing for quite a while already! And over the past two weeks, since I've been signing a lot with her again, finally, they've become a lot clearer too; her 'water' has become so much more refined - though her bye has started to look a lot like 'water' now. Oh well.

But the signs we have are not enough for her. At all. Sometimes when there's something she wants to say, she'll go through all of them in hopes that we'll catch what she wants. Which we don't, of course, unfortunately.

So we need to add signs. For example, instead of just 'eat', we need 'eat' and then add something for 'avocado', 'cheese', 'porridge', 'orange', etc. And we need to separate 'pee/poop' into their separate ones. Actually, this is one she is not very consistent with, and I think it may partially be because she can also just go in her diaper, and sometimes needs to do just that. And she has some awesome bath toys she gets to play with when she's sitting on her potty, and so perhaps sometimes she just wants to go in and play with them...or maybe she's wanting to get a clean diaper if she's peed a little...and sometimes it's just a fart. Really. She will fart and then do the potty sign.

'Milk' is still going strong as ever. Sometimes she'll really go at it, squeezing both little fists together again and again, with an intense look in her eyes.

In other news, she now prefers to drink water directly from the glass. Used to be we'd feed it to her on a spoon (she never got a feel for sippy cups), but she'll have none of that any more. But we are not brave enough to let her hold the glass herself yet.

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ECing a 10 month old in the arctic north

We've been here three months today. That's a quarter year already! And a lot has happened, let me tell you. Well, to a certain degree at least.

Today we're going to touch back on our ECing journey. It's been a while since we've discussed it, I know, so if you need a refresher of where we've come from you can read the start, a bit along the way, and a six-months-old update.

Or rather than read all that, a quick re-introduction if you've completely forgotten what EC (elimination communication) is: It's basically communication with your little one about her elimination needs, so she doesn't lose touch with her body. You can do 100% diaper free or 100% of eliminations in the diaper, or like us, somewhere in between. The important part is the communication.

My previous unspoken, secret goal was that she'd be diaper free by the time she was 8 or 9 months old. I mean, that would have been super cool, no?

However, moving to the arctic threw a wrench in that wheel. There was so much to adjust to, like layers upon layers of clothes that needed to be taken off each time (not like Taiwan where we could pee in the parking-lot even), a new home- and sleeping- and everythingelse-environment, and more, not to mention all the developmental feats she was going through (sitting up, standing up, crawling, cruising, starting solids, etc) - developmental spurts are one thing that can cause ECing to take a 'step back' once in a while.

For a while she didn't even want to lay down to get her diaper changed, let alone be held over the sink or sit on her potty. So we gave it all a rest. No, we still changed her diaper of course, just didn't try to have her eliminate outside of it too often.

Two days ago, however, after having been back on the EC-train for a stable while already, where Judge, who is home with her during the days, will put her on the potty before he puts a new diaper on her and I am more proactive and try to let her not have to pee or poop in her diaper as much as possible, we had an ECing breakthrough. She signed to me/I caught the sign she had to go on the potty (we've made up our own). And so on the potty she went, and in the potty she peed!

Over the past two days she's been signing to me, it seems, every time she needs to go pee - but sometimes she is a bit too late and so we have a freshly warm diaper we take off rather than pee in the potty. But that's a-ok, doesn't diminish the excitement I'm feeling about this.

This is yet another example of how I think she's really got a sense of being more in charge of her environment. She signals (points) to my mom that she wants to be taken over to our post-card section and look at all her second-cousins pinned up there, she signals (leans forward) she wants to go to me to my mom to me to my mom to me to my mom (gets passed back and forth between us), she signals (raises her hand/swatts the spoon away) she's done eating, and she signs she wants milk (she's signed that for many a month already). I think she is feeling empowered. I love it!

In other Leona-news: Her first tooth broke through a week ago - 2 days before she turned 10 months (with the second tooth following 2 days later). And a few days ago she had her first frolic in the snow (not a super hit).

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EC at the 6 month old mark

Well, 6 month old-and-a-bit mark I should say, as yesterday and today so far (9am) has 'important' developments.

We've now been ECing hard-core for about 3.5 full months...or so. Well, not fully hard-core per se, as Leona is not diaper free 100% of the time - or even 15% of the time, and we do not catch 100% (or even close to it) of her pees and poops (yes, we are discussing these again).

[If you would like to refresh your memory, I introduced our ECing journey here, and had a little two-week-mark update here.]

Up until about a week ago, we (now, when I say 'we' here, it is mostly referring to me) had caught all poops except for maybe 3 over the preceding two months. Yes, it is quite exciting.

The improvement came as her intestinal absorption ability has improved, so for the latter month there had just been one or two poops a day - the upon-first-awakening one (with a big pee to bout) and usually one in the afternoon, all of more substance though still a good-lot quantity, and no leaks for a long time.

The joy of not having to rinse and wash poopy cloth diapers, and wipe down a poop-exploded bum-and-back is phenomenal, let me tell you.

We were also catching many a pee, though there were still an average of around 2 or 3 or so little-bit-wet or very wet cloth diapers during the day, and then the night-time full-loaded disposable one to throw away in the morning.

Our more stable routine that we were enjoying, consisting of sleeping/napping, walks, and hanging around on the bed (= play area / sleep area / diaper changing and most-pottytunities area / nursing area) allowed me to kind of get a good feel for her elimination needs, and give her opportunities at opportune times.

We even had one day where we used the same cloth diaper the whole day. 100% catches! The sense of accomplishment was sublime, I tell you.

Another exciting development was that I had started to feel comfortable enough to give her pee-tunities when I was out and about. First time against a tree by a park bench, next few times towards some bushes, a few other times towards the back tire of the car in parking lots. I mean, if dogs can pee there why can't she, right?

It was empowering. It was liberating.

Then last week we started to be off on timings, and she did not want to be held over the potty often. Our routine was a bit off - as Judge is now full time stay-at-home so we often head out in the car in the afternoons, and she was teething (back molar as the first tooth...I think - still not completely out ... am assuming it is a tooth and not white gum spots). Sometimes, just a minute or so after she was given the opportunity, as she was sitting happily on her cloth diaper, that is when she'd go poop.

Though I was at first a bit dismayed that we had slid back so far, after a couple times I was able to remember to relax again. If I realized she was pooping I'd just cue her, and say "You're pooping" or "You pooped", and "I think you're done" - just like I would over the potty - same tone and expression and all, as that is what ECing is about.

[I use the same tone for if she goes or doesn't go. "You don't have to go pee?" "You went pee." - so as to try and avoid her feeling pressure to 'perform'.]

Same went for the pees. Each and every cloth diaper would be a little or a lot wet. As I totally have no clue when she's peeing if I'm not cuing her diaper free and seeing the trickle or fountain, I just had to let these be as they were, and believe that when I was able to tune in to her better again they'd be back 'on track'.

Yesterday and today things have started to once again feel aligned though, thankfully. Poops and (almost all) pees being caught. Yay!

And then I re-skimmed the pages I had previously dog-eared in the Diaper Free Baby book (this is seriously a super-gem! The website is also stellar for info...pretty much everything you can read in the book is here) as I had taken it out to lend my sister-in-law, and realized there were several hints in there that I had forgotten about, that pretty much explained what had happened to the T, and that also gave suggestions for how to deal with it.

I share some of them with you here, that are applicable to us as we are now:

Signs that Leona has to go to the bathroom

• Passing gas
• Straining
• Squirming, wiggling, kicking
• Arching the back when being held
• A change in behavior (sudden fussiness, suddenly quiet after babbling, just seeming unsettled)
• The above three are sometimes cues, and I think sometimes not - so not always the easiest to know
• Timing (when waking, before and after going out, right after a meal, before or after a bath, before bed, after being taken out of a sling, car seat, etc.)
• Biggy
• Looking at you
• Popping off the breast while nursing
• Especially before when she was younger. I thought it was she was looking at me adoringly as I was her...then I realized it was she was happily taking a wizz.
• A certain vocalization (that babies may be doing to try to imitate your own cue sound); this is going to be unique to each baby
• Not yet but expected in the future
• Moving toward a potty, playing with a clean potty, staring at a potty or at the bathroom
• Staring at potty - a few times
• Signing your sign-language sign for potty 
• She hasn't perhaps truly started doing this, but also expected in the future...and sometimes she plays with her diaper flaps, but I'm not sure if this is her telling me she needs to pee or if she's just playing with the flaps
• Intuition (a sudden feeling your baby probably has to go; this is usually also based on a loose, unconscious awareness of baby's timing and when she last went)
• Also biggy
• Blowing raspberries 
• Not sure - perhaps she peed sometimes while doing this - hadn't taken note of it or linked it specifically
• "Warning" pees - a slight discharge of urine shortly before a real pee 
• The little-bit-wet diapers I sometimes (and sometimes often) have~

Potential reasons for misses and potty pauses

• Milestones (teething, learning to crawl, walk, or talk)
• Illness or some other discomfort, such as an injury
• Baby is becoming more independent
• Baby is resisting interruptions
• Baby wants to try something different, like the big toilet, another potty, or a different location
• New baby or visitors
• Family is moving
• Marital strife
• Travel

How to deal with these

• Switch from potty to toilet insert or vice versa
• Switching potties or locations or bathrooms; bringing potty to baby's play area
• Having baby pee in places other than a potty (bathtub, outdoors, in a cup)
• Getting together with other ECing families and letting your baby see those other babies on potties
• Step back, offer much less, and give your child much more say in initiating pottytunities
• Step up your open-bathroom policy
• Cue your child's dolls or stuffed animals
• Have your child watch an older sibling, friend, or other ECed babies use the potty (the latter is particularly effective!)
• Change your activities while on the potty (we don't chillax on the potty, but perhaps in the future?)

Like I said, gems!



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an EC update

I remember the first time I ever came across the diaper-free concept. It was in Shanghai, October 2005. I was walking along the street and all of a sudden before me I saw a bare little bum hanging out on the shoulders of his dad - literally.

[A blurry shot of what also used to be a standard infant pant-bottom here in Taiwan]

I thought to myself, now *there* is a brave soul! Almost six years later and I have gained an understanding and feel for how this is at all possible.

For the past two weeks approximately, we have been catching 4-6 eliminations each day. I'm not at the point where I can let her go diaper free all day of course, she still kind of 'leaks' a bit too much (those projectile sneeze farts and during hard crying), and the communication part of me being able to read her signs for when she has to go pee isn't quite there yet either (ok, not there yet at all - though because I give her 'potty-tunities' often enough I do catch a fair number of pees as well, and just do the pee-cue when they happen).

Anyhow, yesterday or the day before I started to switch our technique up a bit. As mentioned last time, I had started holding her over her little potty. I did this several times a day for the past two weeks, after she woke up from a sleep or a nap, and after she'd been awake a while, and if I heard her starting to go 'uhuh'.

Now, however, I have started to just hold her over the sink most times, as I do not have to worry about aim (or rather the lack thereof), and instead of using wet-wipes I can just give her a quick wash with water. I have also found that if I give her the opportunity and she doesn't need to go, if I just let her lay around for about 15 min (diaper free if she's not fussy) and then give her another opportunity she's usually ready to take it by then. Progress on my part~

The combination of ECing and cloth diapers during the day gives me a great sense of money saving as well as savings on the cloth-diaper-wash-work...plus seeing how this little tiny person has such control and awareness over her body just blows my mind!

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As I was searching for the bum-shot from Shanghai, I found some other photos from the trip:

Me, my mom and the Great Wall:

 

[Me being a mailer in Shanghai, hoping their postage system works]

[Me with my crazy smile - yes, I too have one of these Celinamin...who knew! - after the postcards have been shoved on their journey]

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on an ECing journey

One of the things I wanted to start right from birth was 'elimination communication' (EC) [EC, baby signing, reading, baby massage...all not gone as planned].

In terms of EC we actually kind of did start it in the beginning. Because of babies' innate desire not to eliminate on themselves, she would pee once her diaper was off maybe at least half of her diaper changes in the first few weeks. Me and Judge would get excited each time and cue her, to try and get her used to the cue (yes, true infant parents - excited about our baby's elimination hehehe).

However, the fussies got in the way of this as well, as we often had to get her diapered up again quickly so we could pick her up, and then she got used to peeing in her diaper.

But today I 'caught' two eliminations in her potty! The way we have gotten to this point is that after a few weeks of sometimes cuing her whenever I could tell she was working on something, I suddenly had a bolt of inspiration a few weeks ago. Instead of just cuing her, I started holding her 'in position' as well - with her diaper on. After a week or two I started cuing before I was going to change her diaper - try to 'clean out' her system so to speak. And she would tighten her little tummy muscles and make effort and clean her pipes!

So now that I am on a stint of trying out cloth diapers during the day again, instead of cuing her before I take her cloth diaper off, I cue her after I take it off - while I'm holding her over a purple little potty. And she totally gets it!

That is, except for pees. I'm going to have to work a bit to counter the damage I've done there I think - the two times between diapers over the past month that she's finally peed again I scared her mid-stream by suddenly moving her legs (to try and contain the pee on the cloth diaper I always have under her during diaper changes) and using a 'tsssss' cue...I think the 't' part of it and my sudden movement made her jump a bit. In any event she shut the stream off both times.

So I've decided to change the cue (not just 'ssss' as I'm worried she'll suddenly have to go pee if she's playing with friends and they pretend they're a snake :P) - to kind of a 'hsu' sound...噓 in Chinese. I'm also going to have to try to use the same method I think - first just cue when I catch her in the act with her diaper on, then to cue and position with diaper on, then I can eventually do it all diaper off. Not even close to as easy to catch her in the pee diaper-on, but I think I can do it.

And if I get discouraged I have inspiration from one of the moms in our living-complex - she does 'early potty training' (not quite EC, but cueing infants and training them to be diaper free before 1 basically) with her 10 month old - who most of the time goes totally diaper free. Early potty training is totally common here in Taiwan, especially kids who are taken care of by their grandparents a large chunk of time.


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