Well, 6 month old-and-a-bit mark I should say, as yesterday and today so far (9am) has 'important' developments.
We've now been ECing hard-core for about 3.5 full months...or so. Well, not fully hard-core
per se, as Leona is not diaper free 100% of the time - or even 15% of the time, and we do not catch 100% (or even close to it) of her pees and poops (yes, we are discussing these again).
[If you would like to refresh your memory, I
introduced our ECing journey here, and had a little two-week-mark
update here.]
Up until about a week ago, we (now, when I say 'we' here, it is mostly referring to me) had caught all poops except for maybe 3 over the preceding two months. Yes, it is quite exciting.
The improvement came as her intestinal absorption ability has improved, so for the latter month there had just been one or two poops a day - the upon-first-awakening one (with a big pee to bout) and usually one in the afternoon, all of more substance though still a good-lot quantity, and no leaks for a long time.
The joy of not having to rinse and wash poopy cloth diapers, and wipe down a poop-exploded bum-and-back is phenomenal, let me tell you.
We were also catching many a pee, though there were still an average of around 2 or 3 or so little-bit-wet or very wet cloth diapers during the day, and then the night-time full-loaded disposable one to throw away in the morning.
Our more stable routine that we were enjoying, consisting of sleeping/napping, walks, and hanging around on the bed (= play area / sleep area / diaper changing and most-pottytunities area / nursing area) allowed me to kind of get a good feel for her elimination needs, and give her opportunities at opportune times.
We even had one day where we used the same cloth diaper the whole day. 100% catches! The sense of accomplishment was sublime, I tell you.
Another exciting development was that I had started to feel comfortable enough to give her pee-tunities when I was out and about. First time against a tree by a park bench, next few times towards some bushes, a few other times towards the back tire of the car in parking lots. I mean, if dogs can pee there why can't she, right?
It was empowering. It was liberating.
Then last week we started to be off on timings, and she did not want to be held over the potty often. Our routine was a bit off - as Judge is now full time stay-at-home so we often head out in the car in the afternoons, and she was teething (back molar as the first tooth...I think - still not completely out ... am assuming it is a tooth and not white gum spots). Sometimes, just a minute or so after she was given the opportunity, as she was sitting happily on her cloth diaper, that is when she'd go poop.
Though I was at first a bit dismayed that we had slid back so far, after a couple times I was able to remember to relax again. If I realized she was pooping I'd just cue her, and say "You're pooping" or "You pooped", and "I think you're done" - just like I would over the potty - same tone and expression and all, as that is what ECing is about.
[I use the same tone for if she goes or doesn't go. "You don't have to go pee?" "You went pee." - so as to try and avoid her feeling pressure to 'perform'.]
Same went for the pees. Each and every cloth diaper would be a little or a lot wet. As I totally have no clue when she's peeing if I'm not cuing her diaper free and seeing the trickle or fountain, I just had to let these be as they were, and believe that when I was able to tune in to her better again they'd be back 'on track'.
Yesterday and today things have started to once again feel aligned though, thankfully. Poops and (almost all) pees being caught. Yay!
And then I re-skimmed the pages I had previously dog-eared in the
Diaper Free Baby book
(this is seriously a super-gem! The website is also stellar for info...pretty much everything you can read in the book is here) as I had taken it out to lend my sister-in-law, and realized there were several hints in there that I had forgotten about, that pretty much explained what had happened to the T, and that also gave suggestions for how to deal with it.
I share some of them with you here, that are applicable to us as we are now:
Signs that Leona has to go to the bathroom
- Passing gas
- Straining
- Squirming, wiggling, kicking
- Arching the back when being held
- A change in behavior (sudden fussiness, suddenly quiet after babbling, just seeming unsettled)
- The above three are sometimes cues, and I think sometimes not - so not always the easiest to know
- Timing (when waking, before and after going out, right after a meal, before or after a bath, before bed, after being taken out of a sling, car seat, etc.)
- Looking at you
- Popping off the breast while nursing
- Especially before when she was younger. I thought it was she was looking at me adoringly as I was her...then I realized it was she was happily taking a wizz.
- A certain vocalization (that babies may be doing to try to imitate your own cue sound); this is going to be unique to each baby
- Not yet but expected in the future
- Moving toward a potty, playing with a clean potty, staring at a potty or at the bathroom
- Staring at potty - a few times
- Signing your sign-language sign for potty
- She hasn't perhaps truly started doing this, but also expected in the future...and sometimes she plays with her diaper flaps, but I'm not sure if this is her telling me she needs to pee or if she's just playing with the flaps
- Intuition (a sudden feeling your baby probably has to go; this is usually also based on a loose, unconscious awareness of baby's timing and when she last went)
- Blowing raspberries
- Not sure - perhaps she peed sometimes while doing this - hadn't taken note of it or linked it specifically
- "Warning" pees - a slight discharge of urine shortly before a real pee
- The little-bit-wet diapers I sometimes (and sometimes often) have~
Potential reasons for misses and potty pauses
- Milestones (teething, learning to crawl, walk, or talk)
- Illness or some other discomfort, such as an injury
- Baby is becoming more independent
- Baby is resisting interruptions
- Baby wants to try something different, like the big toilet, another potty, or a different location
- New baby or visitors
- Family is moving
- Marital strife
- Travel
How to deal with these
- Switch from potty to toilet insert or vice versa
- Switching potties or locations or bathrooms; bringing potty to baby's play area
- Having baby pee in places other than a potty (bathtub, outdoors, in a cup)
- Getting together with other ECing families and letting your baby see those other babies on potties
- Step back, offer much less, and give your child much more say in initiating pottytunities
- Step up your open-bathroom policy
- Cue your child's dolls or stuffed animals
- Have your child watch an older sibling, friend, or other ECed babies use the potty (the latter is particularly effective!)
- Change your activities while on the potty (we don't chillax on the potty, but perhaps in the future?)
Like I said, gems!
.