suddenly on the cusp of the next chapter

In the beginning of July, after my visiting family had left, Judge and I were sitting in the living room talking.

His job is really a huge negative in our life. Originally, I didn't want to give up my upcoming more easy time at home, with Leona and Eliana planned to be in kindergarten three days a week and Cedrik becoming less exhausting to take care of as he is getting bigger (this last year has been tough). I felt that finally it was going to get a bit easier for me, and I wanted to enjoy this sweet time with Cedrik - and the girls - with me not being exhausted.

It was kind of like Judge got Leona when she was past the most difficult first 7 months, and got to stay home with just her, so I didn't want to again have been at home during the hardest stage and then him get the easy time to really enjoy being at home. I wanted to have some easier time and enjoy it.

But I realized I couldn't justify this for myself. Me staying at home until Cedrik is three, and Judge working at the crap job, just isn't worth it. The job sucks the life and happiness out of him, and makes him so tired he's not able to be with the family the way we - as a family - want.

So suddenly we had a new plan. This plan has evolved a bit over the past few months, and now has become pretty strong I think. It basically goes like this:

I get a job in a city where they have a bachelor program in civil engineering, and that we want to continue living in after Judge graduates. Judge applies for the 3-year full-time program and starts fall 2017. Cedrik and Eliana start kindergarten fall 2017 as well. Leona will start 1st grade.

Because we want Leona to get to go to kindergarten for a bit with kids that she hopefully will start 1st grade with, and because we want Cedrik and Eliana to go to the same kindergarten (one that is close to where we will be living and thus chances are high that the kids they go to kindergarten with will be those they start school with later), and the deadline for applying for kindergartens is March 1st, I basically need to get a job that starts at the latest Feb 1st, so we have a month to find a place (we can rent an airbnb for the first month, so we can actually go look at the potential places we want to rent).

At first the list of cities that we could consider living in long term was pretty long - Bergen, Førde, Ålesund, Porsgrunn/Skien, Fredrikstad, and Trondheim (Tromsø is too expensive and hard to get kindergarten spots close to where one lives, and Oslo is also too big and expensive, Stavanger doesn't hold any pull for us, and Gjøvik doesn't either really).

A couple weeks ago I went for the an interview in Bergen. Just after the interview I saw a friend post a news article about how it had rained more in Bergen this year so far than in Oslo, Trondheim, and Tromsø put together (and these next months are the actual more heavy-rain months)...and that it has basically rained almost every day for the past two years. Since the weather really has a huge impact on my happiness level, I've come to realize, Bergen was suddenly off our list (despite there being some potentially really good Montessori schools in the neighborhood we would have rented a house).

Yesterday I ended up getting offered a higher position then I interviewed for, with a good salary. But after the interview Judge and I had done some research  regarding the business it does, and after learning what I did about some of its products, I cannot stand behind the company in good faith, so the amazing dream position didn't end up rocking our decision to scratch Bergen.

Through our discussion to drop Bergen, we also dropped Førde (1.5 hour drive from here - small town, seems like it's hard to find a place to rent and it may be hard for Judge to find a job after he graduates, and the program is new so not high on the rankings yet...today I turned down an interview there as well), Ålesund (3.5 hour drive from here - great city spanning across several small islands, but no special pull for us, and the bachelor program is further down on the rankings), and Porsgrunn/Skien (good weather but no pull for me, for the same reasons as Ålesund).

Basically, Trondheim is our city - but I am keeping Fredrikstad open if I get offered a dream job there, because the weather is pretty much the best in all of Norway. It's really far from here though (about a 10 hour drive or so - south east Norway, past Oslo, close to Sweden).

Trondheim is great because the civil engineering program is the best in the country, and I am sure Judge will be able to find a good job there later - the city is big enough for there to be a lot of opportunities - but more importantly I have close family there as well as my best childhood friend, all of whom have been taking really good care of us even though we've been living as far away as we have (6 hour drive).

My absolute dream is that the kids could go to the kindergarten where my friend works, because not only is she amazing, but the kindergarten is amazing as well. They really have the same understanding (?) as me, it seems, really matches my values as a parent. An example, 1 and 2 year olds here in Innvik are in the groups with all the other kids (they all head out together...the space is big enough for this - inside they are still often all together in the space as well, especially right now as there is just one 1 year old and one or two 2 year olds). For me, this age needs a lot less stimuli than that. At my friend's kindergarten each assistant that works with this age group has 3-4 that she takes care of out of her own home, in order to give them the environment that is best for them (they of course have this all set up proper and professional and have support etc. etc.). The fact a kindergarten does this is amazing to me.

Anyhow. We haven't really told anyone yet, but that's the plan. I'm only applying to jobs I want and companies I want to work for - and I need a certain level of salary to be able to make the move.

It's really exciting to be on the cusp of this next stage in our lives - but also bitter sweet as I will not get to stay at home with the kids anymore, and I feel a bit bad that Cedrik has to go to kindergarten so young. But we have to consider our family as a whole, and the long term health and well being of all, so this is what is best for The Family. I think it'll be really good.



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E's moment of kindergarten

So many updates and tidbits and milestones to catch up on.

This summer Eliana was pretty excited she was going to start kindergarten august 1st, and I was excited for her. I knew she was going to have so much fun, love to play with more kids, enjoy the activities, especially circle time with song.

[both of them self-dressed and ready to head to first day of kindergarten]

We had signed her up for three days a week, and I went with her every day, all day, like I had done with Leona. The plan was I would leave for a short while first, then longer and longer until she felt safe and comfortable to just be dropped off and then picked up at the end of the day.

[ran up the stairs and opened the door on her first day; played with Leona mostly outside, or a bit on her own]

And she did have some fun, sometimes, when she wanted to. Even when I would head out - when she would agree to have me leave for a while (which wasn't often), she would often end up having a good time, for the most part. But a lot of the time she didn't want to participate. She wanted to be with me.

It lasted three weeks before we threw in the towel for reals (we threw in the towel once after two weeks were up, but then I spoke with one of her teachers who convinced us to try a bit more).

[after two weeks I told her she could be done, and we'd try again when she is four: slamming the gate shut on her kindy experience - what a happy and satisfied little lady!...though after discussing it with her more after talking to her teacher we agreed to give it another go]

It all boiled down to the fact that she would rather be home with me than at kindergarten - a point brought up by the teacher. The teacher was meaning it in that E needed a bit more time to get used to kindy - that all kids would rather be at home with their parents if they could choose, and that E just needed to have more opportunities where I would leave or was not there, where she would cry and the teachers would console her, so she would learn that they are someone she can count on and trust and feel safe with. The teacher assured me if they saw that the consoling just really wasn't working, that they would call me.

I really appreciated talking with this teacher. I could feel her non-judgement of me, and her true heartedness about the situation and Eliana. She also has a little girl same age as E at the kindy, as well. She didn't put pressure on me about what we should do, but told me honestly what she would do...and that was to give it some more time.

But for me, I could tell E just wasn't ready, because she didn't want to be ready. And if she would rather be at home with me, then why not? I don't see anything negative with that, seeing as I am at home anyways. So we did give it another try for one more week, and those three days just convinced me that we were making the right decision to pull her out.

I am hoping she'll grow out of the phase she's currently in by the time she's four or so and has to start kindergarten because no-one will be at home, so home won't be an option. And that is the "only mom will do" phase. I can't go take a nap without her screaming and screaming and screaming for me. If she is at home, she wants me to be there. With her. In the same room. With my eyes open.

With Leona, when she started kindy, it was totally different. She was 4.5 years old and wanted to be there. Some of it is age, I think, and some of it is personality. In any event, I'm not ready to have a fight every morning with E about going to kindergarten, nor ready to have her screaming when I drop her off, screaming she wants to be with me, wants me to stay or that she wants to come home with me (I didn't leave once during her trial time without her being OK with me going. Once or twice I was out the door and I heard her start to cry, but I didn't go back - wanted to give the teacher the chance to console her. But I'm not ready to leave her there if she tells me she is not wanting to be left there alone.)

So that was that. When we decided to really quite for sure this time around, I told the head teacher - not the teacher I had originally talked with, and she asked me if I thought it was a wise decision. I just firmly said yes, but to myself I was thinking of course I think it's the wisest decision! If I didn't think so I wouldn't be making this choice! It was obvious by that question that the head teacher did not agree with the choice we made.

E, in any event, is happy with the decision, it seems.



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rules to live by

We eat a lot of pancakes and waffles for breakfast. Like, 'for the past many months practically every day' kind a lot. The girls' favorite toppings are just butter, or butter and jam, though Leona has also gone for butter, mayonnaise, sour cream, and jam...all at once.

This also may partially explain why my pregnancy weight hasn't disappeared - until recently I ate the pancakes or waffles too, loaded with lots of delicious butter, sour cream, and jam.

Anyhow, the other day I heard from the dining table, as I was in the kitchen getting a waffle:

Leona to Eliana - "You can't just eat the jam with the [jam] spoon, because there are bacteria in your mouth. Use your finger instead."

Good thing we have her keeping everything legit :grin:

The girls really are so different. Leona lives by the rules. She want's to know why a rule is a rule, and once she knows, she follows it to a T. Sometimes the rules are just habits, unspoken and even un-realized by me. Like brushing my teeth before I leave the house, rather than 'in the morning' - these two events used to coincide, and it wasn't until Leona asked me where I was going one morning I decided to brush my teeth then, that I realized this.

For example, wash your hands when you come home. I told her once (or maybe a couple times) and she has done it consistently ever since, without me having to mention it first.

Or the whole 'you have to wash your hands after you go to the bathroom'. Why? Because there are bacteria on the toilet seat and lid, and when you wipe yourself sometimes bacteria can get on your hands. So when she was younger (when I still helped wipe her each time) she would either ask me to help lift the toilet lid or take some toilet paper and lift the lid with that - and then refuse to wash her hands when I asked her to, because she didn't get any bacteria on them. But if she did accidentally touch the toilet seat when sitting on the toilet, she would wash her hands after without me saying anything - even if I hadn't seen her touch the seat.

Her life is governed by these rules. She feels happy and in control when everything is consistent and following the rules that have been set out and explained.

Eliana also likes to know the rules, but more often than not it is because she wants to see if she can get away with not following them. Testing us for consistency.

[in the apple tree - driving up to the mountain to go skiing]

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sparkles galore

It started innocently enough. Two weeks ago or so we made a new batch of jello play dough, and in the process the girls rediscovered the fact that we have a huge stash of glitter.

Then two days ago Leona asked if they could use some of it, but she didn't know how they should use it, so I suggested they paint some pictures and then shake some glitter over their paintings. Because the glitter pours out quickly, I stood with them at first, holding Cedrik in my arms, and showed them how big, or rather small, the opening of the glitter boxes should be. Then I took the fussy boy to the bedroom to see if he would sleep.

[Leona's painting on the top, and Eliana's on the bottom]

The girls finished their paintings and then asked if they could add the glitter to their soap play (I have bought in tons of cheap hand soaps that they play with in the bath tub as well as in their kitchen play). I said sure, but just take a little glitter at a time, and keep the play in the bathroom.

I saw them running back and forth between the glitter stash at the kitchen table and the bathroom, chattering and organizing away, sometimes hearing an "oops" and "that's ok, we can just vacuum ['suge-suge' as Eliana says in Norwegian] it up later" every once in a while (as they also would go via the living room carrying the glitter).

[a random glitter pile on their trek from the kitchen to the bathroom via the living room]

After Cedrik had taken a short nap and I had had some peaceful relaxing time, he woke up and I was busy with his fussiness again. About 3-3.5 hours after they had started painting, they came to me and asked if I wanted to see.

[bird's eye view]

[close-up]

Ends up 'just a little at a time' didn't hold as long as I had hilariously assumed. Really should have known better when it's Eliana we're talking about. All four glitter boxes were empty. As were three-four hand soaps.

I dropped Cedrik off downstairs with my mom, pulled out the vacuum, and tried to salvage as much of the dry glitter as well as the glitter soap as I could, so that it could be used during play again at a later date. 

[far left the salvaged glitter, three remaining glitter boxes now full of glitter soap - as were two additional hand-soaps]

Next day it continued.

[day two, they found some bar soaps that they scraped with plastic knives and added the shavings to the mix]

[our new reality - post clean-up but pre vacuum day two]

Because of all the glitter on the floor in the play room, there is now some serious sparkle that has been walked out all over the house. Kind of pretty actually - hehe. Ugh.

[day three, just getting started]

[deep in the mix of things - cake, hot chocolate, whipped cream...tomorrow is Eliana's birthday apparently. adding to the mix today is cut up toilet paper rolls and other bits of paper]

Due to the increased complexity of the glitter soap mix, I'm not sure how many more days this is going to be able to last. Plus during each clean up loads of it gets washed down the sink. But they're loving it, which is the whole aim of having this stuff, right?

I mean, at first I was thinking shoot, all the glitter stash, at once~! But...seriously hours and hours and hours of busy play. That's what it's for, really. Pretty great to just be able to let them play their play.

(Well, ok, so I totally put restrictions on them. Water has to stay in the bathroom, and the glitter goop has to stay in the play room or in the bathroom.)

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first mountain ski trip

Last Wednesday it was sunny - and in the forecast it was looking to be the only sunny day this whole Easter break - so we got ourselves coordinated and headed up to the neighboring mountain - leaving the house just an hour later than we had aimed for - for our first ski trip this year - and Leona's first proper ski trip ever.

Plus, we had bought a bunch of bulk candy that had been on sale for uber cheap, and the girls knew that the plan was to bring the candy up to the cabin or to the mountain and eat it up there. So the excitement for this trip was ten fold (bulk candy being a treat they have tasted once before).

I took Cedrik in the Manduca on my back, Eliana was on a ... rattkjelke ... toboggan? Sled? ..., and Leona was on skis. 

[me with the three of them on a flat (slightly down-hill) stretch]

At first I was on skis too, holding Leona's hand, and Judge was holding his skis while pulling Eliana (until we got to the ski path) - but I realized I wouldn't be able to give Leona proper support as well as keep Cedrik safe from me slipping and falling and landing on him, so I took off my skis and decided to just walk it (my mom being the good Samaritan and taking my skis back to the car before joining us again).

[my mom pulling Eliana for a bit, with Leona trying out going on her own - they switched for a short while too, with E taking the skis and L on the sled]

[Leona finding untouched snow to write her name in - and licking the snow off her finger after]

[getting positioned for some candy!]

[my mom helping make sure the girls are safely balancing the box with bulk candy so it doesn't slide down the face of the rock]

[pure enjoyment all around]

Cedrik slept a good part of the 2.5 hours we were skiing ... 2.5 hours and about 4-500 meters round trip, which included two candy pit-stops, one on the way out and one on the way back.

"We went super, super, SUPER far!" according to Leona. Which is true considering she's just previously just gone back and forth in our 5 meter long driveway by our front door.

The outing was a total success, with gorgeous weather, beautiful snow-scapes, happy kids, and just all in all really good to be out and about and a little active.


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official and public apology

I hereby offer Judge an official and public apology, for accusing him of being the cause of Leona's heavy accent when she speaks English.

I had said that I found her English to be very similar to his...but that was a lie. What I had actually felt, was that she had a heavy accent, heavier than Judge's even, but I attributed it to him.

And I had a light bulb moment. It reminded me suspiciously of the half Filipino half Welsh (?) girl who moved here last fall and started kindergarten around the same time as Leona, who is the same age as Leona, who hasn't gone to kindergarten before, and whose parents speak English mostly with her at home.

And seeing as Leona is influenced by her peers much, much, MUCH more than by us, it suddenly occurred to me that she was taking on the accent she heard the girl speak in.

So Judge, sorry I accused you as being the root of this head ache of mine, because I really do want her to be able to speak Norwegian and English and Mandarin as though they are all her native tongues - but I don't know how to influence her so that she doesn't speak with such a heavy accent. I am thinking maybe I should find some good kids' shows that the girls can watch online - like I found in Norwegian. Any suggestions?


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standing

Cedrik is now really fluent in his movement - his crawling is more and more often a 'proper' baby crawl rather than the army crawl...but when he is going for speed it is still always army style.

And he can sit up better and better on his own, of course.

And here he is standing for the first time (not propped on me):

[the girls' natural tendencies - Leona protecting C from falling, Eliana protecting her stuff from C]

[a seriously happy boy]

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a few Leonaisms

Talking about the watermelon we are going to eat when we get home: "I like the red part best. It's so sweet! It's almost like juicemelon."

--

"It's been so long since I ate that I don't have any taste left in my mouth." (Her way of describing feeling hungry).

--

"My hands are so cold that they feel dizzy." (Her explaining why she needs help to take her shoes off).

[Leona having written out 'Eliana' is renovating the letters (top) until they read 'Leona' (under)]

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updates

Leona - Four years and eleven months

Ok, this one actually only makes sense in Norwegian, so I'll write it out first and then explain it after:

The other day she was writing her name on something, and asked me "What comes after 'Owen' in our last name?" I told her that Owen is the entirety of our last name, there's nothing more after it. "No, I mean, I wrote the O already, what comes after?"

Why the misunderstanding? In Norwegian 'the O' is said "O'en", which is pronounced exactly like 'Owen' in Norwegian.

Leona is also still her ever protecting and caring big sister self. Yesterday when her and Eliana were watching something on the computer and it got - for them - a little scary, she automatically put her arm around Eliana's shoulders and pulled her close to her.


Eliana - Two years and nine months

[We got care packages from Taiwan a little while ago, and in it were tons of hair clips (amongst tons of other things), and the girls each wore their share of the loot. Here's Eliana after requesting some help from me]

They have started to love to play the "Pick a hand" game with their vitamins before they go to bed. First time Eliana tried it, she put the vitamin in one of her hands and came over to me with a big smile on her face, holding one hand behind her back and reaching the other closed fist towards me, asking me to pick a hand. She is starting to get a little better at it, but will still move the hand she's holding the vitamin in away from my line of picking if she finds I'm picking the right one.

A while ago we were driving, and the girls were playing a game where they would say "I'm an [inanimate, big object] , what are you?" For example, a house, a train, a mountain, etc. Then Eliana said to my mom "Mormor, you are downstairs." My mom answered that no, she was in the car. And I tried to explain that E was saying she was 'downstairs'. For E, downstairs is the same thing as a mountain, a house, etc. Took a few tries before I was able to clarify what she was saying.

She's still going strong on the completely diaper free living.


Cedrik - Nine months

He has been signing nurse for a long time now, though he has used it sometimes as a means to a desired end ... other than nursing I mean. For example, for me to hold him, or when he wants to eat or drink. All make sense. But at the same time it is obvious when he is signing it because he wants to actually nurse as well.

I've been generally not as proactive with the other signing yet, but trying to keep on track. Perhaps it has to do with having my focus split three-way? In any event, he did sign water for the first time the other day, which was more like a revving of a motorcycle.

Cutter cuteness is how animatedly excited he gets when, after he's been staring at the water glass signing nurse, I ask if he wants some water (including the sign for water) - he bounces up and down in his seat, banging his hands/fists onto the highchair tray, and squeals or grunts exuberantly.

This past week has been huge. He has started first squirming forward, then army crawling, and now even up on his hands and knees for short periods, he has sat himself up in an almost fully sitting position without anything else around him, as well as into sitting positions by pushing up on me, as well as up into standing (or leaning forward with just feet on ground) holding my arms or hands. So now he is mobile, and the whole house is is oyster. This both frees me up (he's not as needing my constant holding), as well as keeps me more busy (me having to watch out for all those little things I didn't notice on my floor-sweep). Overall it is wonderfully exciting.

bliss

 

This is exactly how I feel right now. Leona is in kindergarten, Eliana and Cedrik are both down for a nap. That means I have 30-60 minutes of me-time.

I'm not going to spend it all on here, so just a few more pictures from the other day when Eliana took her bike out on the balcony for some wind in her hair.

[enjoying her reflection in the window]

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the long awaited mind shift

Finally. A week or so ago Eliana decided she was finished wearing diapers. After two accidents downstairs at my mom's the first day (after which her and my mom agreed she should wear a diaper, which she wore up until the next time she had to go to the bathroom upstairs...her not wearing a diaper down there is not totally uncommon, as is her having accidents), she's been diaper free and accident free day and night.

I was a little worried she had lost touch with her body, because sometimes she would say she hadn't peed in her diaper when she actually had, or she would eventually have an accident almost guaranteed if she was without her diaper, but it really seemed it was just that she hadn't made the decision to be done with diapers yet.

In any event, I'm happy, as I was starting to wonder (for a long while now) how long she would keep the diaper-gig going.

She was about 2 years and 8 months old. And interestingly enough this is almost the exact same age Leona had her mind shift - E's just one month younger.

Ironically I just happened to buy a pack of one size bigger diaper for her a week or so before she made her no-diaper decision, which I was waiting to open until...I don't know why I was waiting. But it's a good thing I did, otherwise she could very likely be too excited about getting new diapers to be willing to give them up just yet.

She, of course, is oblivious to just how happy this being done with diapers has made me.

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freestyle engineering

For a while when we just moved back to Norway I was making a lot of different things with the girls - or with Leona for the most part as Eliana was still mostly into exploring the materials (read: making a mess).

For example TP roll and egg carton stuff (helicopters, penguins, giraffes, unicorns, etc.), foot and hand print stuff, and such. Mostly these were my projects I realized...I had my end product in mind and would control the process to get my desired result. Sometimes I would make my own and let them do their own, with the materials prepped and cut, ready for them to work with as they saw fit ... but still with a semi-end product idea in my mind. If they did things 'wrong' I would be OK with it, as long as they were working on theirs, and not on my project.

But for the last long while I've stopped doing that - unless the projects have been more fully mine and they have just helped me a bit (like for Halloween). I have let go of the reins so to speak. They have sometimes asked to make footprint butterflies - and I have let them own the entire process, providing minimal help. Usually it is not the end product they are really interested in anyways - they select the colors, paint the bottoms of their feet, make a footprint (sometimes I help them put their foot down on the paper and remove their foot again, to try and help them get a 'clean' print, when they ask me, but often they will try to do it themselves), and they will wash their feet....and then they will forget about the project as the footprints dry, and they never come to completion. Which is perfect as it is the process they enjoy here.

The other day, though, Leona was holding an empty toilet paper roll and said she wanted to make a car, or plane, or helicopter. I said cool! But I couldn't help get her set up right then because I was going to make lunch or Cedrik had take a nap or he was fussy or or or. Later (next day?) her and Eliana wanted to paint, so they sat down at the kitchen table and painted for a while while I was busy doing ... something. Even later, perhaps the next day, she brought a toilet paper roll that she had painted purple and said she wanted to make a plane. I asked her what she needed to do to make it into a plane? She described lots of different things, and I said it all sounded like great ideas. So she went and got some scissors, and tape, and made this:

For me, this is exciting. Because it all came from her. We have never made a toilet paper roll plane before. And this isn't the only thing. She's been making boats and planes by taping and stapling together papers, none of the end results really looking like anything other than lots of pieces of paper taped together into a 'messy soft tube', but her idea, her vision, is still exciting for me. And then the other day she made this sailboat downstairs at my mom's place:

With sails and all!

You can see how she taped them down and folded them over to try and get them to be able to stand up.

I sometimes worry that I am not providing them with enough challenging and interestingly stimulating tasks and activities...not helping them delve deep into interests...not providing them with enough educational situations. Cedrik still needs me almost all the time, though this is changing, as mentioned earlier.

So I am happy that Leona gets to go to kindergarten those three days a week so that she gets to experience different things, different songs, activities, play'n'games, and interactions.

And then I see her create these little projects for herself, and see her and Eliana's elaborate play, and I think that perhaps they are OK, that I am in fact not thwarting their growth and development by keeping them home with me. That the focused time that Judge, my mom, and I spend with them (reading, baking, cooking, sewing, talking, and otherwise interacting and helping them) and their free play are all a perfect concoction for them.

I still do want to delve deeper into projects with them - bring in educational stuff related to their current interests - than I have, and I think as Cedrik gains more independence it will be possible.

I am also looking forward to starting gardening projects this spring!




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our awesomely supportive health sister

Today was Cedrik's 8 month check-up at the health centre. I really like our health sister (nurse), who we've had since we moved here and so knows our family and the girls. She is so open and supportive toward my what here is often seen as rather unconventional methods - EC, baby sign, semi-baby lead weaning (not making food into mush, but rather letting him eat what we eat in safe bite- and graspable-sized pieces and letting him feed himself much of the time while still spoon-feeding him when the food requires that), co-sleeping, nursing on command and not forcing night weaning (which I am aware I have created a habit of rather than it being a hunger-need on his part) until later (with the girls I have had to force cutting down night nurses as I needed the sleep, but I waited until they were old enough to tell them the plan and they more easily could understand why we were cutting those nurses out), not doing stomach time but waiting until they can turn onto their stomach on their own - this whole line of letting them naturally develop their movement be it rolling, being on their stomach, sitting, standing, walking, climbing, etc. (though we do sit him up in a sitting position sometimes now)...etc.

She is so knowledgable and supportive of my choices, because she knows they are well thought through, and she sees the development of the kids are right on track.*

Today I mentioned to her that Cedrik has recently finally started to be able to hang out with other people beyond the max 5 min. or so we've had so far; that the other day he hung out with Judge for 1.5 hours (!) while I was napping and relaxing (in another room so out of sight...while out of sight has not had a big effect earlier). It's not consistently such long periods yet...often it is still 5 min or less sometimes when he's fussy (of course)...which is not seldom, but still. She smiled and told me "You're a prototype for how it is meant to be done - letting the babies decide what they are comfortable and feel safe with, as it's natural that they want to be close to their food and comfort when they're at their youngest."

I love her for that. For her support rather than judging and saying they can take it (which I know they can) or that it's healthy for them to learn to be away from me etc.

* An example story outside of our regular check-ups is when me and C went to his 4 month group check-up, where a new health centre health-sister-in-training joined us. This new health sister took C's measurements and did a check on his back and neck muschle strength (gently pulled him upwards by his hands/arms towards sitting position from laying position and lay him down again). When we were in the group discussing and sharing, they asked us moms how the kids were on their stomach, and I mentioned that we don't do tummy time, and explained why (he gets enough neck and back muscle training through us holding him and carrying him around, and that he will have tummy time when he is ready to do it on his own). The new health sister looked a bit shocked, and asked if I didn't even give him a few minutes on his tummy at the end of diaper changes?! (this was a timing for tummy time that was suggested by the home-visiting health sister that came and visited us right after C was born, so it is standard procedure to suggest parents do), and I said, no, only time he is on his tummy is when I put him there so I can massage him. Our regular health sister smiled mischievously and said "You didn't notice anything when you did the neck and back muscle check did you. I consciously didn't mention to you beforehand that Johanna doesn't do tummy time, so that you wouldn't be biased when doing the check. Johanna is not saying she doesn't give his muscles training - she carries him and holds him a lot and he gets enough natural stimulation that way. She is very thought out and conscious of her decisions and is a perfect example that it is not necessary to follow the 'standard' way of doing things."

Again. I love her!



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language reshuffle

A little while back, I was listening to Leona and Judge chat - in English, and I realized we needed to relook at the language strategy in our home. Back in March of 2014 I had said I would start speaking Mandarin with the girls. I totally didn't. But in the fall of the same year (about November), I decided to go 100% Norwegian on them, because Leona wasn't speaking Norwegian and I thought maybe it was affecting her willingness to talk [Norwegian] with other kids.

[We made glutinous rice balls...and ducks...yesterday. top: rolling the dough; bottom left: waiting for the ducks to float up in the boiling water; bottom right: two ducks made by E ready to be eaten - the top one purposefully with two heads]

Fast forward a year, of me only speaking Norwegian to them, and I found that Leona's English accent was very, very, very similar to Judge's. Perhaps I shouldn't have been so surprised, considering the only English she had been hearing was his for almost a quarter of her life (!).

So, I've decided that seeing as she's rocking her Norwegian already and it is a language she gets tons of exposure to now (she is in kindergarten, my mom speaks Norwegian with her, as do the neighbors who she visits on her own with Eliana sometimes), that she doesn't need it from me as well.

Thus, after struggling a bit getting used to speaking Norwegian to her, I'm now transitioning back to English again.

[it snowed about 30-40 cm the past two-three days. today was the first time we went outside properly - the past week everyone's been different degrees of sick, and so the girls have just been playing in the snow on the balcony]

I also mentioned to Judge that I think, just think, that Leona may have inherited his and his dad's ear for language...or non-ear I should say, and he said that maybe it is because he has spoken English with her. It's true, it may just be that. And seeing as her Mandarin is good but also not suuuuper good, he came to the conclusion that he should just speak Mandarin with the kids, no English (though also sometimes some Norwegian, as it's good for him to practice).

When I first started speaking English with Leona again, she only answered in Norwegian - though interestingly when Judge speaks English with her she answers in English. It was only this last week where she started speaking English back to me sometimes, which is pretty exciting for me for some reason. Perhaps because it took soooo long for her to start using Norwegian with me last year, that I thought we had lost that door of opportunity for her to speak English with me again - that she was stuck on speaking Norwegian now.

I can tell both girls often don't quite understand what I'm saying, so it will take a bit of learning and adjustment to get them 'up to par' with the English again, but it feels good to be back in the saddle.

[Eliana loving walking where no man has walked before - snow up to over her knees]

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hair trims and cuts

My kids have inherited my slow hair growth in their infant and toddler years - almost no hair until well into their 3rd year of life. The other day I was looking at Eliana and realized that her hair finally started to look a little fuller. She's now about 2y7m.

[Here you see her long locks...as well as their new play room, off the kitchen]

Later that same day I came out from the bedroom having put Cedrik down for a nap, and came upon Eliana sitting on the bathroom's door stop. She joyfully looks up at me and exclaims "I'm cutting my hair!" And yes indeed, she was.

Though I don't actually have anything against her cutting her hair, I figured it is best if we don't go down that route, so we talked a bit about who is allowed to cut hair in the household (me). As I was doing something else - cleaning up her hair I think, she ducked behind the door that was open and up against the wall, and happily chatted to herself - about cutting hair as she was continuing her hair cutting endeavor. Seems our talk wasn't very effective. I then plopped her in the bathtub to try and even out her 'do. I had to work fast as she kept saying we were finished, and some places were already a bit shorter than the rest of the haircut was turning out, but all in all she really suits a short cut.

[E blowing the candle: "It's shaking its head...it doesn't like it"]

Later that day I decided I wanted to cut my hair again too (last time I cut my hair I tried a new method after looking up some pointers on youtube, to get more of an above-shoulder bob - it worked quite well), so made a pony tail at the nape of my neck and cut of the hair up by the hair band, and then used thinning sheers. The girls were in the bathroom with me when I was doing it. (I had thought about whether or not it was a smart idea to do this with them awake or if I should wait, and just went with it...).

A few days ago, Eliana wanted a pony tail. Though she doesn't have a lot of hair to work with, I was able to give her a tiny one at the nape of her neck.

You probably know where this is heading.

Yep. A while later she comes joyfully over to me, turns her back to me and says "Look! So short!" I look at the pony tail and lo and behold the uneven 0.25-1.0 cm tips were gone and a smooth cut tip that hugged the hair band remained.

The story is never ending. Just now, she was cutting some bags and yarn in the living room beside me, and then suddenly ran into the bathroom (where the light was off) - I figured something might be up, and saw she had dipped in between the door and the wall. I peeked through the crack of the open door (where the hinges are) and you betcha, she was trimming her hair again.



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visitors over new year

We tend to try and dissuade friends from visiting us outside of 'tourist' season - unless they are intra-Norway visitors - because of the time and money it takes to get here is often not worth the shitty weather and lack of places to check out. But once we've made it clear to them what they're getting themselves into if they do come, then we sit back and let them make the executive call (of course).

So this past holiday season we had some good friends who are living in Sweden decide to make the trip, as a good-bye and thank-you to their mom who had been with them for a few months helping out.

(Family of three - wife from Taiwan, husband from Sweden, and daughter 15 months old, and wife's mom).

They were really lucky with the drive over (about 11 hours, split over two days), as they arrived right before some really stormy weather. They stayed three nights and two days, and I have to say I am really happy with how the weather cooperated. I mean, it could have been better, like no wind and enough snow to really go sledding, but considering how the weather has been all fall and early winter, it was not bad at all.

So we pulled off a pretty perfect visit. Proper Christmas Eve dinner their first evening. Day 1 we drove up onto the mountain top and grandma (from their daughter's perspective) got to try sledding for the first time. Just a short stop-and-play at the ski lift area, as it was super windy. Then we drove down the mountain a tiny bit, parked, and hiked the 10 min. or so to the cabin, where we had lunch and rested and enjoyed cabin life and the view.

[the view]

[the hike back to the car...a path that you only can follow if you know it's there - the day before when me and my mom headed up to turn on the heaters so it wasn't too cold the next day you couldn't see any grass~  meltmeltmelt in the about 9 degree weather the day before and that day - warmer than some days we had last summer~!]

Spent a super windy evening at home.

Day 2 we strolled over to the store - and saw that a 75 year old tree in front of the church had been blown over the afternoon before. But when we were out there was no rain and no wind.

[the requisite troll shot - minus Cedrik in his stroller and Linus taking the picture]

Had another amazing afternoon tea and dinner, and right before mid-night went out on our balcony to watch the fireworks.

I looked up and saw some really think clouds and joked to my friend's mom that we could pretend it was the northern lights...only to realize it was the northern lights! The excitement of this completely unexpected awesome surprise was phenomenal. They got a bit stronger and we could even see them changing/flowing. For being this far south it was as impressive as it gets I think. (No needs to compare it with what we get in the north).

And then after a leisurely breakfast the next morning they headed home again.

It was so enjoyable having them here. The husband speaks Mandarin fluently as well, has lived a few years in Taiwan, and they also face similar immigration/finding job/stuff struggles as us. Just all in all good conversations and really fun times watching the kids be busy and play.


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Christmas (non)celebrations

This Christmas we in a way celebrated more than we have before, and in a way celebrated less than we have before.

The 'more' was it is the first time I talked with Leona about Christmas and celebrating Christmas and the giving (and more importantly the receiving) of gifts - that after the holidays when she went back to kindergarten, the kids would probably be talking about all the stuff they had received for Christmas, and that she might be a bit bummed that she didn't receive lots of gifts like they did - my thought was that we'd not be having any gifts.

But later Judge and I talked about it together, and he brought up an excellent point that since we live here and it is part of the overall culture, that we should get them a present as well, so that they could take part in the social discussions - a part of their community.

And then, later that same day, we received a package in the mail with presents for them, and so rather than opening them right away like they wanted, we decided we would save them for Christmas Eve, since they were Christmas presents.

A few days later, on Leona's last day at kindergarten before the holidays, she brought home three Christmas presents for the family. So early in the morning on Christmas Eve, after Leona having counted down to the big day, we opened the presents. The presents from Leona were Christmas tree decorations she had made, a glass-jar tea-candle lantern she had made, and a 2016 calendar with pictures of Leona that the kindergarten had taken, drawings/decorations by her, and art projects she's done. What an awesome surprise.

The girls also ended up getting two more presents from neighbors who stopped by that day and two presents each when some friends arrived right before new years - and we bought some lip smacker lip balm when we went shopping in Førde on the 27th, but didn't wrap them, so I don't think they thought of it as a Christmas present. ...we didn't end up buying anything else for them for Christmas after all, though.

So there were presents.

Another 'more' was for Leona in kindergarten, besides making the presents, they also made gingerbread cookies, were told baby Jesus' birth story and then dressed up and acted it out, and other Christmas related activities. At first I didn't feel too comfortable with the fact that they were telling baby Jesus' birth story and acting it out, but after talking it through with Judge I became ok with it, because it is not proclamation but just teaching a part of Christian history, and since this is common core knowledge in Norwegian society it allows Leona to know what people are talking about around her.

The kindergarten kids also went to church on the Friday before Christmas, with the school children, for a "school religious services"...what is it called when Christians go to church on Sundays? Mass? So a special Christmas mass for school kids held during school hours. Since Friday is not one of Leona's kindergarten days we didn't have to specifically say she was not going to participate. I did ask what the alternative was for those who do not participate, and there was none that the teacher I asked knew about...I don't think they had thought about it really, as up until now I don't think any kids either in kindergarten or the school don't participate. With all the new refugees in the village this will definitely be an important point for the school and kindergarten to address for next year though, in my opinion. For us, it is something that does make us feel uncomfortable, as it crosses the boarder between just learning about a religion and proclamation.

The 'less' was we didn't have a special big dinner on Christmas Eve with all the Christmas dinner foods like we have had the other years we've been in Norway on this day. Instead we had it when my friends arrived before new year.



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mom's home!

My mom arrived Dec. 21 last year, in the early morn, and has since then been living in the basement apartment downstairs. What a blessing and bounty. I still haven't gotten past the feeling that I am somehow cheating, because I've for so long had the mind frame that I have to take care of the kids and house on my own (when Judge is at work or has been at school)...that it can be tough at times without back-up support, but I can do it, because I have to and I want to...we want this life of stay-at-home-with-the-kids.

It actually reminds me of my mind-frame before meeting Judge, that I could carry my own heavy bags and didn't need any help - and I would not accept help to carry my bags when offered, because I was strong enough to do it no matter how heavy they were (this is not a metaphor, I mean literally, for example travelling or grocery shopping or moving). Now I gladly let Judge carry the heavy bags, even if I can do it myself. I have learned to accept help even when it is not a necessity but rather 'just' a lightening of a burden.

So that is what I am working on changing now - that my mom helping is not cheating or meaning that I can't do it on my own, but rather that this is what we do for each other - we always wish to help lighten the burdens of those we care about when we can, and by us living so close it is something she can do.

So, though getting a breather in the middle of the day because either the girls are downstairs playing at my mom's, or my mom has taken them out for a stroll, is completely foreign, it is at the same time amazing.

(Sure, it was standard fare this summer, but because Cedrik was a newborn and I was exhausted, so though it wasn't any less appreciated...perhaps it was even more appreciated actually, it wasn't the same kind of breather. Plus it wasn't a long-term situation.)

And the fact that there is an inside staircase connecting the upstairs and downstairs, so the girls don't need to put shoes on - or even put clothes on in Eliana's case - makes it even more free and fluid. And yet miraculously we (all parties) have our own space to breathe and be, so there isn't a sense of claustrophobia - my mom can tell the girls that she needs to work on the computer a bit or take a nap or whatever, and they just come upstairs again. So we have our together time, where sometimes it is just being in the same space doing our own things and sometimes doing things together, but we also have our separate reclusive times.

Pretty darn stellar if you ask me.

And the fact that the sun has turned, the days are getting longer and lighter again, and right now the weather is pretty clear and non-windy (compared to the gray skies and rain we've had for the past few months) makes life even better.



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