In the beginning of July, after my visiting family had left, Judge and I were sitting in the living room talking.
His job is really a huge negative in our life. Originally, I didn't want to give up my upcoming more easy time at home, with Leona and Eliana planned to be in kindergarten three days a week and Cedrik becoming less exhausting to take care of as he is getting bigger (this last year has been tough). I felt that finally it was going to get a bit easier for me, and I wanted to enjoy this sweet time with Cedrik - and the girls - with me not being exhausted.
It was kind of like Judge got Leona when she was past the most difficult first 7 months, and got to stay home with just her, so I didn't want to again have been at home during the hardest stage and then him get the easy time to really enjoy being at home. I wanted to have some easier time and enjoy it.
But I realized I couldn't justify this for myself. Me staying at home until Cedrik is three, and Judge working at the crap job, just isn't worth it. The job sucks the life and happiness out of him, and makes him so tired he's not able to be with the family the way we - as a family - want.
So suddenly we had a new plan. This plan has evolved a bit over the past few months, and now has become pretty strong I think. It basically goes like this:
I get a job in a city where they have a bachelor program in civil engineering, and that we want to continue living in after Judge graduates. Judge applies for the 3-year full-time program and starts fall 2017. Cedrik and Eliana start kindergarten fall 2017 as well. Leona will start 1st grade.
Because we want Leona to get to go to kindergarten for a bit with kids that she hopefully will start 1st grade with, and because we want Cedrik and Eliana to go to the same kindergarten (one that is close to where we will be living and thus chances are high that the kids they go to kindergarten with will be those they start school with later), and the deadline for applying for kindergartens is March 1st, I basically need to get a job that starts at the latest Feb 1st, so we have a month to find a place (we can rent an airbnb for the first month, so we can actually go look at the potential places we want to rent).
At first the list of cities that we could consider living in long term was pretty long - Bergen, Førde, Ålesund, Porsgrunn/Skien, Fredrikstad, and Trondheim (Tromsø is too expensive and hard to get kindergarten spots close to where one lives, and Oslo is also too big and expensive, Stavanger doesn't hold any pull for us, and Gjøvik doesn't either really).
A couple weeks ago I went for the an interview in Bergen. Just after the interview I saw a friend post a news article about how it had rained more in Bergen this year so far than in Oslo, Trondheim, and Tromsø put together (and these next months are the actual more heavy-rain months)...and that it has basically rained almost every day for the past two years. Since the weather really has a huge impact on my happiness level, I've come to realize, Bergen was suddenly off our list (despite there being some potentially really good Montessori schools in the neighborhood we would have rented a house).
Yesterday I ended up getting offered a higher position then I interviewed for, with a good salary. But after the interview Judge and I had done some research regarding the business it does, and after learning what I did about some of its products, I cannot stand behind the company in good faith, so the amazing dream position didn't end up rocking our decision to scratch Bergen.
Through our discussion to drop Bergen, we also dropped Førde (1.5 hour drive from here - small town, seems like it's hard to find a place to rent and it may be hard for Judge to find a job after he graduates, and the program is new so not high on the rankings yet...today I turned down an interview there as well), Ålesund (3.5 hour drive from here - great city spanning across several small islands, but no special pull for us, and the bachelor program is further down on the rankings), and Porsgrunn/Skien (good weather but no pull for me, for the same reasons as Ålesund).
Basically, Trondheim is our city - but I am keeping Fredrikstad open if I get offered a dream job there, because the weather is pretty much the best in all of Norway. It's really far from here though (about a 10 hour drive or so - south east Norway, past Oslo, close to Sweden).
Trondheim is great because the civil engineering program is the best in the country, and I am sure Judge will be able to find a good job there later - the city is big enough for there to be a lot of opportunities - but more importantly I have close family there as well as my best childhood friend, all of whom have been taking really good care of us even though we've been living as far away as we have (6 hour drive).
My absolute dream is that the kids could go to the kindergarten where my friend works, because not only is she amazing, but the kindergarten is amazing as well. They really have the same understanding (?) as me, it seems, really matches my values as a parent. An example, 1 and 2 year olds here in Innvik are in the groups with all the other kids (they all head out together...the space is big enough for this - inside they are still often all together in the space as well, especially right now as there is just one 1 year old and one or two 2 year olds). For me, this age needs a lot less stimuli than that. At my friend's kindergarten each assistant that works with this age group has 3-4 that she takes care of out of her own home, in order to give them the environment that is best for them (they of course have this all set up proper and professional and have support etc. etc.). The fact a kindergarten does this is amazing to me.
Anyhow. We haven't really told anyone yet, but that's the plan. I'm only applying to jobs I want and companies I want to work for - and I need a certain level of salary to be able to make the move.
It's really exciting to be on the cusp of this next stage in our lives - but also bitter sweet as I will not get to stay at home with the kids anymore, and I feel a bit bad that Cedrik has to go to kindergarten so young. But we have to consider our family as a whole, and the long term health and well being of all, so this is what is best for The Family. I think it'll be really good.
.
No comments:
Post a Comment