This summer Eliana was pretty excited she was going to start kindergarten august 1st, and I was excited for her. I knew she was going to have so much fun, love to play with more kids, enjoy the activities, especially circle time with song.
[both of them self-dressed and ready to head to first day of kindergarten]
We had signed her up for three days a week, and I went with her every day, all day, like I had done with Leona. The plan was I would leave for a short while first, then longer and longer until she felt safe and comfortable to just be dropped off and then picked up at the end of the day.
[ran up the stairs and opened the door on her first day; played with Leona mostly outside, or a bit on her own]
And she did have some fun, sometimes, when she wanted to. Even when I would head out - when she would agree to have me leave for a while (which wasn't often), she would often end up having a good time, for the most part. But a lot of the time she didn't want to participate. She wanted to be with me.
It lasted three weeks before we threw in the towel for reals (we threw in the towel once after two weeks were up, but then I spoke with one of her teachers who convinced us to try a bit more).
[after two weeks I told her she could be done, and we'd try again when she is four: slamming the gate shut on her kindy experience - what a happy and satisfied little lady!...though after discussing it with her more after talking to her teacher we agreed to give it another go]
It all boiled down to the fact that she would rather be home with me than at kindergarten - a point brought up by the teacher. The teacher was meaning it in that E needed a bit more time to get used to kindy - that all kids would rather be at home with their parents if they could choose, and that E just needed to have more opportunities where I would leave or was not there, where she would cry and the teachers would console her, so she would learn that they are someone she can count on and trust and feel safe with. The teacher assured me if they saw that the consoling just really wasn't working, that they would call me.
I really appreciated talking with this teacher. I could feel her non-judgement of me, and her true heartedness about the situation and Eliana. She also has a little girl same age as E at the kindy, as well. She didn't put pressure on me about what we should do, but told me honestly what she would do...and that was to give it some more time.
But for me, I could tell E just wasn't ready, because she didn't want to be ready. And if she would rather be at home with me, then why not? I don't see anything negative with that, seeing as I am at home anyways. So we did give it another try for one more week, and those three days just convinced me that we were making the right decision to pull her out.
I am hoping she'll grow out of the phase she's currently in by the time she's four or so and has to start kindergarten because no-one will be at home, so home won't be an option. And that is the "only mom will do" phase. I can't go take a nap without her screaming and screaming and screaming for me. If she is at home, she wants me to be there. With her. In the same room. With my eyes open.
With Leona, when she started kindy, it was totally different. She was 4.5 years old and wanted to be there. Some of it is age, I think, and some of it is personality. In any event, I'm not ready to have a fight every morning with E about going to kindergarten, nor ready to have her screaming when I drop her off, screaming she wants to be with me, wants me to stay or that she wants to come home with me (I didn't leave once during her trial time without her being OK with me going. Once or twice I was out the door and I heard her start to cry, but I didn't go back - wanted to give the teacher the chance to console her. But I'm not ready to leave her there if she tells me she is not wanting to be left there alone.)
So that was that. When we decided to really quite for sure this time around, I told the head teacher - not the teacher I had originally talked with, and she asked me if I thought it was a wise decision. I just firmly said yes, but to myself I was thinking of course I think it's the wisest decision! If I didn't think so I wouldn't be making this choice! It was obvious by that question that the head teacher did not agree with the choice we made.
E, in any event, is happy with the decision, it seems.
.
No comments:
Post a Comment