parenting

It hasn't even started and yet I find myself overwhelmed sometimes. Not most times, just sometimes. I mean, there's so much to look into and investigate and think through and figure out. I know a lot of it will fall into place as things roll along, but some things I do believe you need to think through and plan for.

Like buying stuff in preparation for baby's arrival. The list I had before still holds, but it's when it gets into the details that it gets murky. Thus I will continue to postpone the details for another day ;)

And then there's the whole vaccine issue that warrants research. This is somewhere it gets overwhelming. I know for sure some of them we will not get - chicken pox is one of these, catching the pox is a right of passage ... of sorts - while others I think we will be getting. My thing is I want to be *informed*, make informed decisions. Not just do or not do based on the doctor or what others are doing. I think that's the most important thing for me - if I decide to vaccinate fully, partially or not at all, that it is a researched and well thought through decision based on my family's circumstances.

A lot of stuff I feel I've settled on already, like natural birth or not, breastfeeding or not, co-sleeping or not (these were all non-choices of sorts, as in I already pretty much had my mind set on what I want), pacifier or not, gadgets or not, type of carrier(s) to get, stroller or not (actually I guess it's more a question of when to get it really - most likely when we're Norway bound), how to discipline (time outs or not, spanking or not, corporal punishment or not...again some of these are obvious non-choices for me ;P), etc.

Some of it has to do with our space - we don't have much of it so choices are made for us through that. Some of it has to do with parenting philosophies, and a lot of it has to do with research (of which parenting philosophies does fall into I guess, because man there's a wide range out there...but of course what seems to make sense to me falls into quite a narrow range it seems).

To be honest, my biggest worry - and perhaps my only true worry when it comes down to it - is how to deal with the 'older generation' (our 'elders' or rather 'those of the older generation in the family') and their input as well as actions.

I have to admit I am very accustomed to getting to live my life the way I choose. Sure my parents have provided input and feedback and ideas and suggestions and opinions, but 99.9% of it tends to be supportive of my decisions, and never do they talk to me me in a manner and tone that holds a 'this is what you will do' kind of non-discussionness.

I am starting to feel quite strongly about certain parenting practices that I am and am not comfortable with. And it just so happens that several that I am not comfortable with are common practice here. I'm sure several of them are common many places, and things many of you have faced in your respective nooks and crannies around the globe. I need to learn to face these with a smile. With firmness, but with a calm smile none-the-less. I have never been good at confrontations and disagreements though, they always make me uncomfortable and tongue-tied and fast-hearted. And in a situation where it is expected I listen to my elders, it makes it all the harder.

These are issues my fellow Taiwanese mom's face as well, and struggle with often. So I know it is not just me. Somehow it doesn't make me feel much better about it all. Thick skin is what I need to grow myself I believe. Thick skin so I can pull of a calm-heart and smile while holding my ground where I feel it's necessary - and wisdom and insight to realize where it is ok to take a step back not care or stress about whatever is rubbing me the wrong way.


.

baby shower

[Written day of - 11/1/16~ Wanted to add pictures - but it's been a while so I'll just add a picture I took and add more later when I get my hands on them]

Yesterday we were going to clean the apartment and buy all the ingredients for today's baby shower that we hosted at our place but that was arranged by four of my good friends. They were quite excited about it (as was I, but that's a given) as they have only seen baby-showers in movies, so this was their chance to participate and throw one nonetheless.

Ended up just washing the bathroom and putting some clothes away, and then we didn't have time for the rest as we had thought we would as we had a huge dinner with a friend who's back from the states for winter break (with him and the rest of that gang)...after stuffing ourselves at the all you can eat bbq we went out for tea (sit-in bubble tea...well, and other tea, but most of us had bubble tea). After that it was just home to digest and rest.

So today, after sleeping in in a major way, it was off to the races. Went to the local supermarket, bought what could be bought there (meat for nachos, eggs and milk for waffles, etc), went home and cut up the veggies for the dip, fried up the (home-made) taco-mix meat, mixed the waffle batter, cleaned the downstairs, headed out the door to Costco to buy nacho chips, sour cream, cheese and salsa, picked up the girls from the train station, and then home we went.

The afternoon was filled with food (first nachos and veggies'n'dip), then present openings - super sweet card where I got mistey eyed (didn't think the girls noticed but found out I was way obvious apparently) and just the most thoughtful presents with the most professional introductions and explanations. They had arranged the gifts into a sweet towered cake (or tower of pisa hehe), and then it was waffle and fresh brewed tea time.

I have to say I was super happy it was so casual and relaxed, as I often find myself a bit uncomfortable at party-games. So their absence was quite appreciated by me (I had actually kind of secretly worried about this).

Just a most perfect and wonderful afternoon, leaving me feeling super warm and sweet - and stuffed beyond comprehension. The girls, however, after getting dropped off down-town by Judge, went on for a big hot-pot dinner. Impressive!

[The tea-and-waffle time.]

.

i *heart* mom

Today I got a phone-call around 10am from Judge's mom. Judge had told her I was home with a cold, and so she wanted to let me know she was making lunch for me and would be bringing it over in a bit. How lucky am I!

So a bit after noon she arrived downstairs with seriously a full bag of food. Not only my lunch, but mine and Judge's dinner, and lots of fruit. She's always so good at supplying us with fruit - and food and snacks. We usually aren't able to finish it all so try to limit it, but in times like this (sick times) it is nothing but goodness.

She also had a little bag and said there was a fall outfit for our little girl (which she already washed so it is ready for use).

When I got back upstairs I found she had bought this onesie:

How sweet is that! I think this, along with the home-made lunch/dinner delivery, is a beautiful and perfect symbol of just how far we've come. It was a rough road leading to here, but that has all been forgotten (well, put behind us at least, and become unimportant), and the future is full of *family*. A wonderful feeling, and kind of blows me away sometimes.


.

cold

It has been cold forever it seems (with no letup in sight yet...and mind you this cold is colder than Norway cold, as there is no heating that can make the house comfortable - and no heating at work - and no heating in the car...well, I think cars do have heating, but I don't have a car, just a scooter...which I normally love but not on cold days when it's raining - did however buy rain-shoe covers! But now I'm rambling).

And yesterday morning I could feel that I should stay in bed all day, but there was a Norway gathering up in Taipei - each and every gathering I've known about previously I've never gone to due to schedules clashing or being sick or whatever reason. This time Judge had to work all weekend, but I so wanted to go up and meet everyone. So, I went against my gut (or perhaps for my gut - Norwegian waffles, home-made goats cheese as well as store bought Norwegian brown (goat's) cheese and 'yellow' cheese, home-made plum jam, home-grown mint tea - and other wonderful goodies, not to mention a great mix of Norwegian-Taiwanese company).

[Borrowed picture from another happy participant: Geir, our welcoming host (the 'husband' half of our wonderful hosts) - a Norwegian born and raised in Taiwan, me, and Tzuyu, a friend I met a couple years ago who went on 1 year exchange to Norway years before that...and who can supply me with Norwegian words when I forget O.O]

[Borrowed pic: JingYue (the 'wife' half of our hosts) and I chatting it up]

[Borrowed pic: representative of where I stood almost all evening - see the near-empty waffle tray in front of me? And my big belly? Yes, those missing waffles are in there~]

Came home beat, and by the time I was in bed (30 min later) my throat was itchy. Short and long of it was I left work early again today, went to the doctor so I could get a doctor's note (otherwise I don't get sick-pay), and have been in bed ever since. Plan on being in bed tomorrow too. Yay!

Though sometimes the nose gets so clogged I can't swallow (seriously), what makes up for it all is baby-girl's activity. She's turned breach this last week, so I have her little fists punching out to the left, her legs kicking out to the right, sometimes going on for about 20 minutes or so, with little taps to full-on jabs and pushes and rolls.

Tomorrow we're at 26 weeks - Thursday we're at 6 months. Time is flying! And yet going so slow. We currently have all the diapers we will be needing (perhaps...cloth at least, but we'll have to see how our mix-matched set works out for us in actual co-ordinated use-and-wash-and-dry~). Other than that - well, that's all we have so far, besides two or three outfits, a teether, and cutest mittens ever (all gifts).

Life is generally grand - at least when I get to stay in bed ;)


.

musings

I have so much going on in my thoughts these days, all jumbled up and difficult to put down in words. There is wonderment, awe, immense gratefulness, excitement, knowledge that I am - and have always been - a receiver of great blessings, anticipation, a little bit of trepidation, longing, and certainty.

An apt representation of how things are *always* provided to me as I need them, is this:

Roads in Taiwan suck. Big time. I think it either has to do with how the forces wear the roads (natural forces, traffic forces), or perhaps the road-paving companies purposefully do a job that needs to be redone in not all too long so they have certain - and plentiful - income. In any event, the road that I have to scoot daily to work was a typical junk road, where bits and pieces have been dug up and relaid hitch-patchy here and there and everywhere. For some this is not an issue, but my shocks are shot (have been shot since before I purchased the scooter), so the jolts to my system were less than unpleasant.

After working at my job for a bit though, the road in its entirety was repaved, from actually Judge's town (we're in a suburb of his town) all the way straight across to the other town - where we scoot on part of it for most of our drives to work.

Now, instead of having to tense my muscles constantly to absorb the constant jolts, I have a smooth, enjoyable ride to and from work.

I feel life is always doing this for me. Being repaved into a smooth ride. Serious blessings. Not that my life is pot-hole free by any means, but the smoothness of my road throughout life in general keeps me in awe and gratefulness.

As I am zipping through life, however, it is important to remember to slow down not only to enjoy the ride but also in order to safely maneuver the sometimes heavy traffic around me, which may try to push or force me in certain directions, and make sure I keep in tune with its organicness (true both in the metaphor and in the real deal of course).


.

ringing in 2011

We are homebodies. It's an indisputable fact. And we enjoy it tremendously!

Well, homebodies and scooter-cruising bodies~~

Yesterday, the eve of the year that will be utterly amazing, the weather was cold and sunny and our agenda was to chill and enjoy.

After a lazy morning at home, we headed out to do some shopping (not covered under 'chill' or 'enjoy' but...). The aim was to try and see if we could finally spend that gift-card for the mall that his company gave out a long while back. We've tried before, and failed miserably. Each time we walk into the mall, we turn around almost immediately. Neither of us enjoy shopping, and malls, well...ugh. This time, after unsuccessfully trying to find coco butter (as I hear it's all the rage for pregnant women), we headed to the baby-department. Figured we should be able to spend the money there easily enough, right ;) And right we were, after wandering around in a daze and not feeling inspired, the money was finally spent: nursing bra ~ The excitement!

The rest of the afternoon was enjoyed hunkered down behind Judge on the scooter, teary-eyed from the cold wind, eating, and making some purchases for our new year's eve dinner. Our big plan for the evening: Hotpot at home for just the two of us (homebodies, like I said). But we were lazy (as if hotpot isn't lazy enough!) and decided to just go with the awesome Costco ribs we had in our freezer and a salad:

And thus we spent the last few hours of 2010. Eating, watching Friends, sharing our excitement about the big changes 2011 will bring to our lives - our baby girl, our move to Norway - two dreams finally coming to fruition. And Judge's wish: That at this time next year we'll be enjoying an amazing northern lights display. EXCITED!


.