parenting

It hasn't even started and yet I find myself overwhelmed sometimes. Not most times, just sometimes. I mean, there's so much to look into and investigate and think through and figure out. I know a lot of it will fall into place as things roll along, but some things I do believe you need to think through and plan for.

Like buying stuff in preparation for baby's arrival. The list I had before still holds, but it's when it gets into the details that it gets murky. Thus I will continue to postpone the details for another day ;)

And then there's the whole vaccine issue that warrants research. This is somewhere it gets overwhelming. I know for sure some of them we will not get - chicken pox is one of these, catching the pox is a right of passage ... of sorts - while others I think we will be getting. My thing is I want to be *informed*, make informed decisions. Not just do or not do based on the doctor or what others are doing. I think that's the most important thing for me - if I decide to vaccinate fully, partially or not at all, that it is a researched and well thought through decision based on my family's circumstances.

A lot of stuff I feel I've settled on already, like natural birth or not, breastfeeding or not, co-sleeping or not (these were all non-choices of sorts, as in I already pretty much had my mind set on what I want), pacifier or not, gadgets or not, type of carrier(s) to get, stroller or not (actually I guess it's more a question of when to get it really - most likely when we're Norway bound), how to discipline (time outs or not, spanking or not, corporal punishment or not...again some of these are obvious non-choices for me ;P), etc.

Some of it has to do with our space - we don't have much of it so choices are made for us through that. Some of it has to do with parenting philosophies, and a lot of it has to do with research (of which parenting philosophies does fall into I guess, because man there's a wide range out there...but of course what seems to make sense to me falls into quite a narrow range it seems).

To be honest, my biggest worry - and perhaps my only true worry when it comes down to it - is how to deal with the 'older generation' (our 'elders' or rather 'those of the older generation in the family') and their input as well as actions.

I have to admit I am very accustomed to getting to live my life the way I choose. Sure my parents have provided input and feedback and ideas and suggestions and opinions, but 99.9% of it tends to be supportive of my decisions, and never do they talk to me me in a manner and tone that holds a 'this is what you will do' kind of non-discussionness.

I am starting to feel quite strongly about certain parenting practices that I am and am not comfortable with. And it just so happens that several that I am not comfortable with are common practice here. I'm sure several of them are common many places, and things many of you have faced in your respective nooks and crannies around the globe. I need to learn to face these with a smile. With firmness, but with a calm smile none-the-less. I have never been good at confrontations and disagreements though, they always make me uncomfortable and tongue-tied and fast-hearted. And in a situation where it is expected I listen to my elders, it makes it all the harder.

These are issues my fellow Taiwanese mom's face as well, and struggle with often. So I know it is not just me. Somehow it doesn't make me feel much better about it all. Thick skin is what I need to grow myself I believe. Thick skin so I can pull of a calm-heart and smile while holding my ground where I feel it's necessary - and wisdom and insight to realize where it is ok to take a step back not care or stress about whatever is rubbing me the wrong way.


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