sit-a-month

One of the first things a woman in Taiwan does when she realizes she's pregnant (if she hasn't already decided) is start investigating her sit-a-month options - if she has any options that is.

Sit-a-month is the first month after giving birth, and there are many a rule that must be followed. It is basically a month where the mother is to gain back her strength, and there is always someone who is taking care of her. There are a billion different takes on it, and each woman has her own goals for what she wants...but not every woman gets to decide for herself.

Traditionally it is the mother-in-law who helped a new mother sit-a-month (since they'd be living together anyways); either that or the new mother's mother. Today it's still often the case, but there are other choices as well, if the extended family (read: husband and mother-in-law) allow it (sounds harsh, but true...all about family harmony).

Many are choosing to go to sit-a-month centers, which are like hotels for mom's and their new-borns. There are tons of varieties of these centers, from in-baby (where baby is encouraged to stay with mom...still not too many it seems) to out-baby (where baby is only wheeled in to mom for feeding if mom breastfeeds, or for short visits, and is otherwise held in the 'baby holding area' which is staffed by a few nurses who feed, bathe and change them, so mother can rest). For about 28 to 30 days you can easily spend between US$4000 and US$6000 (including food, and some classes - ie how to bathe your bebe etc, and on-call help 24/7).

Then there is also the sit-a-month nanny who can come to your home, make your meals as per your liking, clean your house, and help with Baby as needed (as the mother-in-law or mother would be doing). This is much cheaper, at around US$1000 for the month I believe, not including grocery money.

The rules that go along with sit-a-month are (traditionally): eat only sesame oil chicken (well, a few additional items can be eaten, but most things are taboo), cannot shower or wash your hair, no reading/watching tv/going on the computer (the strain on the eyes will ruin them permanently in this fragile time), cannot go outside, no direct fan or AC, and I'm sure there're tons of other things.

If you're sitting-a-month at home, most likely the mother or mother-in-law will push for these traditions, while in the sit-a-month center they pre-boil the water so you can wash your hair safely, and they have a varied and nutritious menu. Some people are pretty sure these lax changes will have negative repercussions for the women who go to these centers later in life, however. Also, if you didn't do sit-a-month properly and later in life have some kind of ailment, often it is the inadequacy of the sit-a-month that is blamed (I'd like a scientific study on this actually, to see if the benefits of these traditions still hold true in today's world).

Most women here need the sit-a-month, where they can fully rest and heal, because they'll be going back to work probably two weeks after the month is over. And also because their husbands most likely are working 12-14 hour days, so it's good to have someone around who can help take care of you and the bebe.

Since Judge gets a full 3 days off work when we give birth (and he'll be working the shorter day at 12 hours) we've decided to opt for the nanny. This way it doesn't put a strain on his mom (if she were to do it), and we don't have to fling out the mullah on a center (which I think could get a bit dull after a while...I mean, being in your own home and getting to make decisions for yourself without pressure from the center staff does seem pretty enticing...while also getting taken care of :P). That way my little Hint-of-Lime won't be alone for a month either ;)

I'm curious though, for all you Baby Mamas out there, during your first month after giving birth, were there any specific rules for you to follow?

I've heard from States' (some midwives I guess?): First week in bed, 2nd week close to bed.

I've heard from Japan that anything goes - within the bound of common sense (what say you my Japanese peeps?).

What else do we have out there?

.