the life i lead

I sometimes hear about people building a house or watch about it on TV (and then of course it is awsome, amazing, cool oh-so-comfortable-to-live-in houses) and envy the feeling of knowing one will be living in that same place for the next few decades. The sense of settling roots, of connectedness, of constancy.

I also often feel a sense of betraying bosses and landlords, who of course want you to stay as long as possible as it makes life easier and better for them, and as I - during interviews - tell them my then-plans of staying at least a few years (not said in each instance of course, but several both in Taiwan and here in Norway now). I feel that even when I stay out the original contract of a year, that they are depending on me to stay on and I am letting them down when I 'out of the blue' cut things short, so to speak.

And today it all got hit home really hard. Me and our newly started admin and finance manager were discussing finding a job here in Tromsø - as we are currently hiring on a new admin assistant so I can focus fully on finance - and she claimed it's super easy to find a job here and that's why we haven't gotten too many candidates to choose between. I begged to differ, as I hadn't experienced getting called in to many interviews. She proceeded to say "Yeah, if I got a resume like yours across my desk I wouldn't call you in for an interview either."

Slap. In-my-head drop-jaw.

And she continued to say that it was because she wouldn't expect me to stay long enough to make the investment in me - to train me up etc - worth it. Wham.

And of course what could I say, when I am, in fact, going to submit my resignation at the end of this month? (Standard in Norway is a required three months notice...T.H.R.E.E.!).

I don't feel completely bad, as I am in fact completing my original contract with them (which was until end of 2012), have done a bang-up job (of course), and have really saved them some NOKs because they haven't had to hire in a finance person until now (with me going over into the position rather and hiring in a new admin instead) - while if they had had a straight-up admin girl they'd have had to hire one on many months ago.

Plus they have been underpaying me, in my perhaps-not-so-humble opinion. And a final big reason I can sleep relatively ok is that I now have a greater understanding of my new finance role and I have realized that it is still way too non-challenging.

Anyhow, it still didn't feel any bit of nice hearing her say that, as me leaving now is just confirming my feelings of not being someone that can be counted on long term, and it's going to make my resume look even worse.

That just means there is even more of a reason for us to make this move be the right one - to come back to Norway in a few years our own masters, with an awesome product and concept (those pre-fab eco-friendly houses Judge's dad has on the go...and I mean on the uber-success go).

When we make this work for us, then the non-constancy can become comfortable again.


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