- She loves to participate in daily life. Clean. Put away dry dishes and cutlery. Hang up and take down laundry. Dance. Basically anything and everything we do.
- She loves to have a sense of control in her life. You sit here beside me. I want to nurse - no, not here, on the couch. This. That. And the other.
- She is super aware of the routines in her life. Often more aware than us, in fact, as for example once before dinner my mom came over to us on the couch for a little kiss, Leona subsequently happily waved good-bye. Suddenly I realized that that is the routine. Have a kiss with mormor before mormor goes home. She knows. (So my mom explained that she was not leaving yet, just that she had wanted a kiss :P).
- She is still happy to putter around alone in the livingroom for an hour or so before waking Judge up - I observed one of several reasons for this the other day: it is her alone-time with his transformer (tablet), which she otherwise is not allowed to touch or watch ;)
- Whenever she is exceptionally quiet and hunkered down somewhere I know that she has found my phone (also something she is not allowed to touch or watch, as it is a 'screen')
- She has gone from not wanting to wear socks, ever, to requesting not only to wear a pair, but often two at a time, and sometimes plus her moccasins (thank goodness, as we're heading towards winter).
- She totally understands most of what we say, whether it be in Norwegian, English or Mandarin. That being said, she's pretty good at ignoring whatever she doesn't want to do.
- She's started to work on saying 'blue' as of last weekend when Judge bought her another little duck - a blue one (she now has six as my mom also bought the last missing color...that's a lot of little ducks to always carry around with her, but luckily she's not got the hang of grasping three in one hand, so it's perfection, really).
- She has created a new sign all by her lonesome for tissue/TP (flat palm up to nose...for wiping/blowing nose)
- I believe this is the second sign she has come up with by herself, the first being for cell-phone (pointing to cheek-bone close to ear)
- She started to love her little car (which she previously practically ignored) - would get on it and scoot around the house several times a day, especially while she procrastinates before bedtime:
[Oh how I love little bodies in PJs!]
And a few 'highlights' about my mindframe - more to remind myself than anything else:
- I try to always use the phrase "this is not for you to use" rather than "this is not for you to play with" when she is trying to get (or has gotten ahold of) something we do not wish for her to use
- I have realized 'play' for me holds connotations of minimizing what she is doing...though technically play can and is directed and purposeful, I still feel that she currently doesn't play so much, per say, but rather investigates, tries out, figurs out, explores...and by using the word 'play' here it does minimize what she is doing
- Though it is a negative ("is not for you"), if I just say "this is for me to use" it doesn't technically exclude her using it, so I feel odd if I'd just say that
- I try to always be 100% present when I am with her (meaning try to leave the cell-phone on the shelf...the computer doesn't come out until she is in bed anyhow, and the TV never on before then either)
- I try to always 'unruffledly' acknowledge her feelings, especially the 'difficult' ones of frustration, sadness ... all crying and screaming related ones I guess - meaning put words to what she is experiencing without getting my emotions caught up in it as well; be there as a support and anchor for her, so that she can safely make it through the rough seas knowing that is natural and healthy
- I try to not interrupt her when she is focused on doing something - anything (unless it is something she is not allowed to be doing).
- I try to always allow her space to struggle and to find her own solutions - and if needed to give a small suggestion or acknowledgement (for example, when she is struggling with putting a duplo piece on top of another, and holds it out to me, I say something like 'you are trying to put it on top' rather than accept it and complete what she is trying to do for her)...
- ...but I also give her space to be a little baby - help her, hold her, etc., when it is clear that she needs it (like when she is tired or a task is too far beyond her current abilities).
- I let her lead activities, often just there observing mostly, and of course responding when she engages me.
- I try to always let her know what is coming before it comes, whether it be a kiss from me, a diaper change, me picking her up, anything.
- I try to not 'test' her (Can you say...? What is this? etc.).
- I try not to give her abstract compliments (that can also lead to invisible pressure) like 'you're so smart', so pretty, so this, so that, but give more concrete feedback.
- In terms of EC I try to always respond to her signs/requests, while leaving it light and non-pressury, as well as take her to the toilet when I think she needs to go even if she doesn't sign.
- I try to always let her explore and manage her interactions with others without guidance/interference from me.
- I try to not add 'ok?' at the end of statements of what we're going to do (so as to not make it into sounding like I am asking her, as then she has the right to say 'no').
- I try not to comment or interfere with how Judge is a parent when his ways differ from mine - though when it is something I feel strongly about I do bring it up of course.
- ...and more.
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