elusive plans

I know. I said I wouldn't discuss plans, because they are always changing after we've pinned them down. But last night Judge and I stayed awake until about 1am discussing our medium-range plans - and now today I want to curl up under my desk at work and sleeeeep.

We may have come up with one, but it took some finicking to get it to where we felt we were comfortable when taking all important aspects into consideration. Important aspects such as (in no specific order):

• Our desire to live in both Norway and Taiwan
• Our desire to keep a strong and good relationship with his parents and the rest of the family here
• Our desire to have Baby also build a relationship with my mom (and rest of the family - but we're so spread at the moment that basically Norway family has the greatest chance I guess, and my mom most so since we want to live up where she hangs)
• Our desire to help his dad out with his upstart business before 'it is too late' and the help is no longer as useful (after it's on a run)
• Our desire to be able to save up some money and have easier living and more time together/for our lives later

The wholehearted acceptance of me by his parents is amazingly wonderful, but also comes with it's own stinger - being their acceptance kind of is also a plan-crusher (or plan-adjuster). Judge believes that his dad will not agree to us moving to Norway for 5-6 years as we have been aiming for in the fall of 2012 - his dad expects him to help him with the business...and 'taking their grandchild away for so long' is most likely 'unacceptable', and so we are on re-arrangements...unless we want to get into big fights and arguments - something that seeing as we just finished with them we are not keen on starting up again.

Original plan:

• Taiwan until fall 2012 (Judge gains two years of good work experience at current company, I stay home with bebe after s/he's born)
• Move to Norway fall 2012
• I work + get pregnant while Judge stays home + learns Norwegian
• I give birth and get 10 months 100% salary + stay home; Judge finds a job and works and we have double income for a while
• When youngest bebe is around 3, the kids go to kindy or whatnot for a year or two so I can get current work experience before moving back to Taiwan (otherwise it may be difficult for me to get a 'real job' here when we come back)
• Move back to Taiwan and have kids go to elementary school and middle school
• We both can work at mid-pressure jobs so we have two incomes yet also family time
• Move back to Norway for kids' highschool

Newly developed idea as of 1am last night:

• Stay in Taiwan until fall 2011 (Judge will have 1 year's work experience, baby will be about 6 months old)
• Go to Norway until end of June or so
• Perhaps first in Innvik (small village my grandparents are basically from and where we lived for a year when I was 9...love it there) for a bit and then the rest in Tromsø where my mom is (way, way, way up north)
• I find a short-term job (and maybe get pregnant at the tail-end of the stay if it's in the cards) while Judge stays home with bebe + learns Norwegian
• Enjoy the endless night (winter) and endless day (summer), northern lights, and all that jazz
• Move to China around summer 2012
• Judge helps his dad with the business
• I stay hang out with bebe and perhaps help with some stuff with the business
• When 2nd bebe is almost to be born, go back to Taiwan to give birth and sit-a-month (or if more convenient perhaps Hong Kong? Haven't looked into that at all yet, but it would allow me not to have to be away from Judge for a longer period of time)
• Go back to China to continue hanging with the kids and Judge continue working full time with his dad
• Stay as long as it takes (if kids get to school-age, then continue to educate them myself)
• And then open - perhaps can move to Norway and start up the European branch of the business, or move to Taiwan for the kids to finish elementary and middle school, and then to Norway for high-school
• Or something.

The benefit of this new plan is Judge doesn't have to start at the bottom in a new company - or close to it - each time we move, which would happen here in Taiwan at least (we can have a bit better cash-flow). And, by getting into the business early there are potentially good benefits to reap once it's sprinting. And, his dad's business is related to what interests us (green housing) and skills learned and developed can be more easily transferred to other jobs than ie his (specific to the company) process engineering he's currently getting. AND it would be good for the family overall and our relationships with his parents we believe - a very big attraction to us.

Drawbacks are it 'kind of' crushes our near-term plans for Norway living - which we have been dreaming about for a few years now. The 8 month or so hietus is our self-given 'compromise' (rather than not go at all), and one that I think we can become ok with.

Our bottom line is that we are together. We are not willing to adapt to the life his parents have had to live for the past decade and some: His dad mainly in China, coming back to Taiwan every once in a while for shorter or longer visits. His mom in Taiwan, going over to China every once in a while for shorter or longer visits. I don't know how they did it - though I guess for the sake of the kids is quite the enableor.

Conclusion? The planning wheels are yet once again a-churning~ And it is looking exciting.

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