last day of november

I kept thinking it was October last week. And what do you know - tomorrow it is December!

These past few days we've been trying on a baby-girl name. I'm not 100% yet, but Judge was sold from the second he heard as I read him my very short list. Perhaps this is 'the one' - we shall see ;)

Work is not so grand. Perhaps because there is so little for me to do. However, I am hesitant to let my boss know, because I will get sucky tasks to do and that's no fun either. And my seating position puts me in the middle between two groups - with a bit of distance (I face out and they face eachother...I have the boss' old desk before she got promoted to CFO), so I kind of don't fall into either of them. Add on top of that that I took last Friday off so the lunch outing plan by one group (the one I fall into more) for today (since Boss is out of country this week) passed me by, and add on top of *that* the fact I no longer buy lunch and eat in the cafeteria because I started bringing my own (after gaining a 'bit' too much weight these past 1.5 months) - and lunch was my hang-time with the other group. Of course I could bring my food to the canteen but they eat for so long and have started taking longer lunch-walks...so, after all that addition you get an anti-social isolated lass.

I console myself with the fact that I only have a little over 3.5 months left here, and then I get to start a much more better full-time endevour. First month or so will be 'prep' and then we'll be thrown in the thick if it.

And speaking of the prep - this last weekend Judge and I went up to Taipei. What sparked our weekend outing was a baby-swap (rummage sale) that had been organized by the foreign-family community, where people could donate their baby/toddler/pregnancy stuff and the proceeds went to a charity. My goal purchases were: Maternity cloths! and baby carriers and a baby mattress perhaps if there was one.

Got there Sunday after spending the night at Judge's sister's place, and it was mayhem. Tons of baby clothes but only bought two little girl outfits because we figure we will be getting lots of stuff from people (hand-me-downs and then of course Judge's mom's purchases). There were no baby carriers, no maternity cloths, and one not-so-great baby mattress. It was not a total bust though, as a lady who sells cloth diapers here had brought some stuff she was trying to clear out. Ends up we got us 7 shells, 7 or 10 inserts each for newborn and a bit bigger, some organic folding-inserts and something else - all for the whoppingly low price of NT$1650 (approx US$55). Not too shabby if you ask me; perfect to start out as a tester kit.

it's a ... :D

So, throughout this pregnancy I've been pretty sure we're having a boy. Just had a feeling he was a boy. I knew perhaps the feeling was just because we had already decided on a boy's name, easy-peasy-as-pie to find it.

And I know the ease of choosing a name was because I had spent a long time putting together a list of great boys names for Judge's sister's son at the beginning of this year, with all my favorite names. My number one name that I didn't put on the list at first could have been for a girl or a boy, but in Norwegian it doesn't work so well...used similarly to 'damn'...so I put it on the list in the end.

Anyhow, when we got pregnant and I short-listed the favorite names to really premium ones and read them to Judge, it was an easy pick - there was one that kind of just popped out.

In terms of girls names I've spent LOTS of time searching and thinking as well, but just haven't landed even close to one; I think that is why I felt like we were having a boy.

And then yesterday I did the first session of hypnobabies, where we're supposed to go into relaxation, and part of it is 'meeting our little one'. After the session I realized suddenly the whole time during the 'hanging out together' our little one had been a daughter. Hmmm, interesting.

This morning we went for our 'around 20 weeks' check-up, and the ultrasoundist asked if we knew if we were having a boy or a girl yet. We said we didn't know. She kept moving around trying to get a clear picture, and then asked if we wanted to know. I looked at the monitor and said "We're having a girl!" I had seen the tell-tale 3 white lines (side-note: felt quite the bout of self-satisfaction for having been able to understand what the monitor was showing myself and not have to be told hehe).

EXCITING! Taking a bit to get used to thinking of bebe as a girl though ;P

first times

This evening I looked down at my tummy and saw it was lopsided for the first time ever - right side was sticking out a tad bit more than the left.

Touched it - and right was harder than left. So yes, wasn't just my eyes playing tricks on me - Baby was chillaxin over there, and bumping around once in a while which could be felt outside as well as inside. Yay!

So, when Judge came home I had him put his palm on Baby, and after a bit he felt Baby move too, for his very first time. It was very slight - and if I hadn't said "Right there!! Did you feel it?" he would have thought it was a stomach rumble or an irregular heart-beat :P

Very exciting!

[Belly at 18 weeks]

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first breastfeeding meeting

The town's health center (?) called me on Friday asking if I was available to come to the monthly breastfeeding meeting on Saturday morning. They had gotten my number from Judge who had stopped by their office a while back to ask about reimbursement for pregnancy checkups (pre-health insurance reinstatement).

All in all it was us and two other foreign mom's who showed up, both China-Chinese, but we were told there's usually a lot more moms there. The meeting was pretty great. Basically first just discussing questions and problems mom's may have about breastfeeding, and then going over some material on a specific topic that had already been prepared for that day (this time it was on storing and re-heating expressed milk). I'm not sure if the fact that Judge was there made them a bit uncomfortable at first, but I mentioned later that I hope he can come to most of them with me (as long as he's not on weekend-shift) because I think it is great for both of us if he can learn and gain a good understanding of all this along with me.

One mom had just given birth 52 days ago (to a bebe only 2300g or so~!...couldn't tell at all that she's just given birth, she was as thin as the next thin Taiwanese girl), and has had quite the adventure with breastfeeding so far. Basically she had no knowledge about it, and doing everything by the book - but opposite because she hasn't 'read the book'. It was pretty impressive.

The teacher was an amazingly comfortable person, who has been teaching about breastfeeding for the past 10 years, breastfed her own kids way past the 'norm', and runs a baby-daycare really close to where I lived last year. She facilitates the gathering not in an 'educating' manner but rather very much sharing, allowing us to answer each others questions if we have any thoughts or experiences. If she has a different opinion, she won't say the other mom is wrong per say, but rather give her opinion and advice. Though on some points she did flat out say that the new mom was wrong...with a shocked-laugh kind of manner (not offensive at all).

I think participating in these meetings will help Judge and I a lot. It allows us to gain nuggets of wisdom without having to sift through information overload online, and allows us to bring up any breastfeeding related questions we may have related or unrelated to the focus of discussion. Not that I haven't already done my homework, and most of our questions I am sure could be answered by a quick search (though again, the search itself is quick, while the going-through-the-search-findings takes time), but being with people live is quite wonderful!

And it allows us to meet other moms in the neighborhood/town, and I think a large portion if not all are foreigners (not sure if this is mainly set up for foreign spouses/moms...I think it is~ ).

Fun.

[I know. No pictures. Not even unrelated ones. It is a blogging-sin. I will try and get my act in gear soonest.]


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baby prep

So, trying to figure out where (and how) to give birth, which doctor to have, how to do sit-a-month (center, 'auntie' at home, or mother-in-law?), and all that jazz can sometimes be overwhelming. Then there is cloth vs desposable diapers (and what type of cloth), what type of carrier or sling or wrap. Seriously, sometimes all the options can be more difficult than helpful (where have we seen that before? Oh yeah, in life plans XD).

And then what to prepare for when baby comes, considering also lack of space and wanting to stay simple and low budget. With my own musings and input from a fellow due-in-april mama friend, I have come up with this list:

Before baby is born:

• To get (some used if possible – Taipei baby-swap here we come!)
• Baby mattress (and comforter?)
• Breast pump, nursing pads, a couple of bottles
• Thermometer, nail clipper, nose booger sucker
• Sunscreen
• Baby shampoo / soap and lotion / ointments
• Baby bathtub seat (I think we actually have access to one already)
• Consider our storage and buy storage bins if necessary, for:
• Clothes
• Blankets, cloths, towels, washcloths etc
• Wipes, ointments, etc
• Toys
• Infant car seat
• Cloth diapers (no clue what kind yet)

• To make or get used or new (again, baby-swap may end up being a treasure trove!)
• Baby blankets, burp cloths, swaddling cloths/’bags’
• Baby carrier sling/wrap
• Mattress sheets (including waterproof)
• Clothes
• Onesies
• Socks
• 0-3 months baby caps
• 0-3 months one-piece pajamas with feet
• "Blanket nighties"
• Other clothes up to 6 months
• Sun hats
• Bibs for drooling and spit up
• A few ‘toys’
• Baby towels and washcloths
• Diaper bag with changing pad

For later needs (purchases/makes) (some perhaps needed around when we go to Norway if current plan ends up being 'the one'):

• Bibs for eating (plastic kind) (can also make)
• Teething chew toys
• Other toys (much can make)
• Pajamas, onesies, and other clothes up to 18 months (some can make)
• Outerwear and shoes
• Perhaps a hipster seat (or whatever it’s called...like a carrier but just a seat)
• Stroller
• (Playpen for ‘safe area’?)

Ah, yes, this is how I spent this morning at work ;)

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elusive plans

I know. I said I wouldn't discuss plans, because they are always changing after we've pinned them down. But last night Judge and I stayed awake until about 1am discussing our medium-range plans - and now today I want to curl up under my desk at work and sleeeeep.

We may have come up with one, but it took some finicking to get it to where we felt we were comfortable when taking all important aspects into consideration. Important aspects such as (in no specific order):

• Our desire to live in both Norway and Taiwan
• Our desire to keep a strong and good relationship with his parents and the rest of the family here
• Our desire to have Baby also build a relationship with my mom (and rest of the family - but we're so spread at the moment that basically Norway family has the greatest chance I guess, and my mom most so since we want to live up where she hangs)
• Our desire to help his dad out with his upstart business before 'it is too late' and the help is no longer as useful (after it's on a run)
• Our desire to be able to save up some money and have easier living and more time together/for our lives later

The wholehearted acceptance of me by his parents is amazingly wonderful, but also comes with it's own stinger - being their acceptance kind of is also a plan-crusher (or plan-adjuster). Judge believes that his dad will not agree to us moving to Norway for 5-6 years as we have been aiming for in the fall of 2012 - his dad expects him to help him with the business...and 'taking their grandchild away for so long' is most likely 'unacceptable', and so we are on re-arrangements...unless we want to get into big fights and arguments - something that seeing as we just finished with them we are not keen on starting up again.

Original plan:

• Taiwan until fall 2012 (Judge gains two years of good work experience at current company, I stay home with bebe after s/he's born)
• Move to Norway fall 2012
• I work + get pregnant while Judge stays home + learns Norwegian
• I give birth and get 10 months 100% salary + stay home; Judge finds a job and works and we have double income for a while
• When youngest bebe is around 3, the kids go to kindy or whatnot for a year or two so I can get current work experience before moving back to Taiwan (otherwise it may be difficult for me to get a 'real job' here when we come back)
• Move back to Taiwan and have kids go to elementary school and middle school
• We both can work at mid-pressure jobs so we have two incomes yet also family time
• Move back to Norway for kids' highschool

Newly developed idea as of 1am last night:

• Stay in Taiwan until fall 2011 (Judge will have 1 year's work experience, baby will be about 6 months old)
• Go to Norway until end of June or so
• Perhaps first in Innvik (small village my grandparents are basically from and where we lived for a year when I was 9...love it there) for a bit and then the rest in Tromsø where my mom is (way, way, way up north)
• I find a short-term job (and maybe get pregnant at the tail-end of the stay if it's in the cards) while Judge stays home with bebe + learns Norwegian
• Enjoy the endless night (winter) and endless day (summer), northern lights, and all that jazz
• Move to China around summer 2012
• Judge helps his dad with the business
• I stay hang out with bebe and perhaps help with some stuff with the business
• When 2nd bebe is almost to be born, go back to Taiwan to give birth and sit-a-month (or if more convenient perhaps Hong Kong? Haven't looked into that at all yet, but it would allow me not to have to be away from Judge for a longer period of time)
• Go back to China to continue hanging with the kids and Judge continue working full time with his dad
• Stay as long as it takes (if kids get to school-age, then continue to educate them myself)
• And then open - perhaps can move to Norway and start up the European branch of the business, or move to Taiwan for the kids to finish elementary and middle school, and then to Norway for high-school
• Or something.

The benefit of this new plan is Judge doesn't have to start at the bottom in a new company - or close to it - each time we move, which would happen here in Taiwan at least (we can have a bit better cash-flow). And, by getting into the business early there are potentially good benefits to reap once it's sprinting. And, his dad's business is related to what interests us (green housing) and skills learned and developed can be more easily transferred to other jobs than ie his (specific to the company) process engineering he's currently getting. AND it would be good for the family overall and our relationships with his parents we believe - a very big attraction to us.

Drawbacks are it 'kind of' crushes our near-term plans for Norway living - which we have been dreaming about for a few years now. The 8 month or so hietus is our self-given 'compromise' (rather than not go at all), and one that I think we can become ok with.

Our bottom line is that we are together. We are not willing to adapt to the life his parents have had to live for the past decade and some: His dad mainly in China, coming back to Taiwan every once in a while for shorter or longer visits. His mom in Taiwan, going over to China every once in a while for shorter or longer visits. I don't know how they did it - though I guess for the sake of the kids is quite the enableor.

Conclusion? The planning wheels are yet once again a-churning~ And it is looking exciting.

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reading-reading-reading

If you looked on the floor beside our mattress, you'd see a pile of books - which is about to grow by two more this afternoon. Adding to that I have some electronic medium stuffs (pdf's etc), and one more item on its way soon, hopefully.

There is no doubt when looking at these books and items what is consuming my thoughts these days: pregnancy, birth, and baby (and parent) development/journey.

Below is the list, with my current 'reviews':

• What's going on in there (my aka: the brain book):
• Amazing. Seriously. It has become the basis of my knowledge on baby development and what I judge all other book discussions by. A strong scientific piece of writing that is easily understood by the non-bio me.
• For me it is a book (or books I should say - I got the Chinese version for him) that we do not wish to leave our posession; it is most definitely not a one-time read only.
• Only downside is the binding's not that great on the English version (Judge has the Chinese version and it's fine there). Not a big problem here in Taiwan because it's quick, easy and cheap to get books re-bound. Yay!
• Født klog
• Danish book about how new born babies can understand what we say to them. A short, sweet read with example stories. Quite enjoyable. Only comes in Danish though I think.
• Your self-confident baby 
• Now this is the baby/toddler development/attached philosophy that speaks to me (the RIE philosophy). I'm quite excited about it actually. I follow an interesting blog (Janet Landsbury - in my blog-roll to the right) which discusses it.
• I feel RIE gives a good balance to life, makes intrinsic sense, and is facinating. Definitely recommended.
• The diaper-free baby (coming this afternoon)
• A good book (or so my trusted source tells me) on elimination communication (some other books on EC are not so good, or so my source says); balanced, not overbearing, not fanatic and not pushy.
• I think it goes along the lines of RIE (respecting and communicating with baby) and is great as I can make it work within our life-style as much as I want.
• Look forward to this read.
• Real food for mother and baby (coming this afternoon)
• Written by a good nutrition author (or so my trusted source tells me again - actually, this trusted source is the one that got me onto RIE/your self-confident baby, and the brain book as well; she's been into child/brain development since she was about 12 - so for about 21 years, and has researched a lot of different philosophies/methods, as well as nutrition-wise for herself, and I've gotten to reap the benefits. Woop!).
• Pretty much in line with 'the primal blueprint' kind of eating that I've started to follow (to a 70-80% or so degree) this past year and a bit...(and by following it - cut out starches and sugars, eat healthy fats etc. etc. - I lost 10 kg without really trying to lose weight...other than eating differently).
• Am interested to see especially the bit about babies starting on solids. Seems exciting.
• The pink kit (electronic, haven't started reading yet)
• Found out about it while investigating hypnobabies and hypnobirthing. Came across a blog that went into what it's about and why she recommends it, did more research, and thought to myself: Hey, I want that~!
• Feel that this along with hypnobabies will give me a lot of knowledge and understanding to feel confident and prepared for birth; and our doula will be the cherry on the cake (hrm, the chocolate fudge on the mint-chocolate-chip icecream rather).
• Hypnobabies home-study kit (coming soon - once they fix the glitch that is not giving me shipping options to Taiwan)
• The same blog that describes the pink kit has a good description here.
• Another blog describing the differences between hypnobabies and hypnobabies is found here by a doula who's certified in both, taught both, and used both.
• I'm so excited about this. I wish there was a class I could attend, but the closest one is on Maui (go figure).
• It is also about no-pain birthing using self-hypnosis (see hypnobirthing below), but uses hypno-anesthesia ... targeted on regular birth pain so that anything irregular won't get blocked.
• And it gives a lot of information on difference scenarios and how to deal with them.
• Now, just to get it~~~
• Hypnobirthing
• Quite interesting (half way through at the moment; haven't listened to the CD/scripts yet).
• Main idea is that most normal births, when absent of fear, can be absent of pain.
• Works with self-hypnosis to calm self and work with body and baby without letting fear intervene. 
• I do not agree that less knowledge is more though (their philosophy).
• My take:
• I think there are better and easier relaxing techniques (self-hypnosis techniques) than they use (ie. see hypnobabies above).
• I think understanding different complications that may arise - and more importantly how to deal with them - will eliminate even more fear, bringing confidence to me (ie. see hypnobabies and the pink kit).
• An interesting read but worth a library borrow rather than a purchase (I have borrowed it).
• The baby book
• I think once baby is born a lot of helpful information in terms of basic day-to-day care and not-needing-to-rush-to-doctor-for-every-little-thing information.
• The author is a proponent (the 'creator') of attachment parenting, which I am not 100% a follower of (I'm more for the attached parenting...small diff you say, -ed vs -ment...but really, there is a difference)
• States its claims are based on scientific studies, but aren't. They are based on the author's own observations over his many years of pediatric care, and that of his collegues.
• In my humble opinion, at least in the beginning as that's as far as I've got (other than browsing/skimming/flipping through) and which is not as pediatric oriented but rather attachment oriented, often his results are basically correct, but the reasoning behind it is flawed (when I take the info I've gained from the Baby Brain book into consideration).
• What babies say before they can talk
• Regarding nine different expressions babies have from birth.
• I don't recommend it. At all. Unless you borrow it from the library to skim and get a few interesting nuggests out of it.
• The expressions are pretty self-explanatory/intuitive really (fear, interest, bad smell, bad taste, etc., I think we can all recognize these without them being explained to us), and the rest of the discussion is basically how to interact with your baby...and I already have a school of thought on that one that I'm quite happy with (RIE).

Yes. I have a lot of reading and thinking ahead of me. I look forward to it - and even more so to putting what I've processed and found to sit right for me into practice~!

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