specificity and sportscasting

We have consciously tried to avoid generic compliments and rather be very specific in our feedback to the girls. This is now having an audible impact, with Leona saying “Eliana is so sweet. She shares with me” when she borrows Eliana’s socks (not that Eliana actually concented to lending them to Leona, she doesn't know the socks are hers, but Leona knew). Or how she said “Two girls are helping. Two girls are so helpful” when we were putting together her play kitchen and they were all over everything....not helping an iota but it's the thought that counts.

She is also very good at discussing how sad she was (so sad so sad so sad) after she is done crying (we make sure to discuss what happened after meltdowns). And if she doesn’t want us to do something she says “Please don’t,” or “Please don’t!” depending on the situation, since that’s all she’s heard from us (rather than just Don’t! or Stop it!). The tone doesn't always hold too much 'please' in it, but it still sounds pretty darn good to me.

Still not getting too many ‘please’s in other contexts though, but that will come with time I am sure.
She is also very considerate of Eliana, where in the evening at bed-time, or during the night, if she feels the need to cry, she will tell me in sob-whispers that we need to go into the little room (mine and Judge’s bedroom next to theirs) because she needs to cry. There she can let it all out, and then when she is done she says she’s done, and we go as quietly as possible back to their bedroom.

Another habit of mine (a tip taken from "Your self-confident baby"...took a while for it to become second nature) is to ‘sportscast’ what she is doing, as feedback, rather than giving a generic compliment or reaction. For example, you’re working so hard, or you used so many different colors, or you completed the whole thing, etc. Especially when she is looking at me or showing me something she is doing/has done, wanting recognition or feedback. The praise or interest is in my intonation, meaning I don’t use a dull, bland voice of course. Anyhow, this has colored off on her, where she sportscasts what she is doing to me, sometimes constantly. This, however, may be a typical toddler/young child behavior (?).

[My self-confident baby]

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