revving up

Yesterday we went in for our 36 week check-in down here (meaning not the hospital and doctor we are going to birth with). Since Judge is on little-nights all this week (Saturday through Friday, 4:30pm until 12:30am or whenever he can leave...so sometime between 1 and 3 am usually) we had an afternoon appointment.

First, some stats, before I get into the whole debacle of it all:

Baby girl is still head-down, back to my left front, feet kicking out my right side and often up at my ribs (trying to get between my ribs and my skin most times it feels like). As per usual her face was covered by her arms and kind of squeezed down in a corner of my pelvis so we didn't get a good shot of it. She measured at 2565g, amniotic fluid great, heartbeat great. So basically: everything great! Yay :D


Now back to the story:

Once again, it was a miserable experience, waiting around forever - a total of about 1 hour and 50 min of waiting, interspersed with 5 to 10 min of ultrasound and doctor. Oh, and about 5 min of a nurse going over a sheet explaining when and under what circumstances we should leave for the hospital, and what we should bring - as well as a sheet to sign that we want baby-in-rooming. She wanted us to sign it then and there, and I asked here what was written - as there were about 20 points on it. "It's basically that you agree you want the baby to board with you 24/7" (shove pen at me again). I told her I would like to read over it first - as it is a habit of mine to know what exactly I am signing. She seemed to not see the point, but humored me - left the sheet with us to hand to her when we saw the doctor. Most of it was what I'm wanting, but it also included a point that baby will be taken to the baby-holding-station once a day for a bath and other check-ups and procedures. This I am not comfortable with, but since we're not planning on giving birth there I just put under the PS spot that I wanted to bathe her myself (they had to check to ensure this was ok...).

Once we got in to see the doctor she asked if we were going to do the b-strep test, and I realized I had totally forgotten she had told us last time to decide if we were going to do it or not, so had not yet looked into what it was all about. Instead of taking 30 sec or a min to explain what it was about, she just gave us the sheet explaining it (in Chinese) and showed me a little exasperatedly where to look in my mother-handbook (where a tiny paragraph is written in English and she had put a check-mark last time) and then said we could do it next week if we decided we wanted to.

She also gave us some handouts regarding whooping cough (so I can decide if I will get the shot or not), birth-preference-sheet to tick-off some items, and a sheet listing newborn procedures/shots for us to look over and decide which we were going to do. And again emphasized she thought it best we reconsider going up to Taipei to give birth as it is so far away so if something should happen it's best to be at a hospital close by.

I left feeling I had been bulldozed over somehow. The birth preferences were kind of ok - but still left me with a bad taste in my mouth (nine items: enema or not, shaving of pubic hair or not, automatic IV or not, will be stuck in bed the whole time or not, will not take a shower or can, no food or drink - or yes, continuous fetal monitoring or intermittent, lay on back to give birth or can choose other positions if wish, and automatic snipping of perineum or doctor considers situation first and decides if it is necessary).

The thought of going back to this hospital for more check-ups and the b strep test (meaning we'd have to go back at least 2 more times - once for the test and once for the results), and potentially giving birth there if for whatever reason we won't make it all the way to Taipei, just made me feel miserable.

So, after talking with Judge we've decided we're dropping this place like there's no tomorrow and will drive up to Taipei for all the rest of our check-ins - even though this means Judge will be more exhausted as we will be heading up every weekend until baby-girl's born.

This decision lifted a whole bundle of stress from me, knowing we will no longer be faced with the rush, pressure and uncomfortable potential-birthing-environment-and-procedures. So today I booked us for an appointment this Sunday with Our Doctor.

I also finally started preparing our place this morning - setting up a few shelve-spots for baby-stuff and washed a load of clothes, cloth diaper inserts, and receiving blankets. Once these are dry I can put together our hospital bags, and start putting together the stuff we'll take to my mother-in-law's for the sit-a-month; still have another load of laundry to do - mostly clothe diapers and inserts. Also still have to set up that space over at MILs, but for me, getting our place ready is more important right now.

Our place really is a bit small - or perhaps our stuff is a bit much and our place is a bit small, so some rearranging is most definitely necessary.

As I sit here I find it kind of exciting though - looking around at all the tiny clothes hanging up to dry. She's almost here!

I know most of you have seen this already, but I'm just so darn pleased with it so here it is again:

It was my 'story of us' 2011 postcard that I initially made for my mom for her birthday, and then felt came together too nicely so sent it off to a few other family peoples as well.

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short-but-sweet visit

Last week Thursday an old-school friend of ours stopped by for a visit. I've known her for about 15 years now - we went to high school together, and when she moved back to Taiwan a few years ago, I got to see her quite a bit - she'd come up and visit us, and we'd go down to visit her, and I even got to hang out with her and her extended family for their Chiense-new-year's vacation one year. Was fantab!!

Anyhow, she ended up pursuing her long-time dream of moving to Germany a couple years ago, so we've been seeing less of each other lately.

So on Thursday, fresh off the plane from a trip to China after a detour to Taipei for the afternoon, she was able to stop by our town for dinner on her way back south (home).

I picked her up from the high-speed-rail station, and we scooted on over to an eatery that sports some really delicious Taiwanese foods where we met up with Judge. So fun to catch up - as well as make some tentative plans for meeting up in Norway or Germany next year. She even got us an Octoberfest dress for baby-girl (well, technically a traditional German dress I guess :P) that she should be just about big enough to wear at next year's Octoberfest!

Then it was back to the high-speed-rail station, and off she went.

Short-but-wunderbar.

[Me - showing off ma belly and a bling-bling smile - and Ivy at drop-off]

[Judge and I at see-off]

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thought i'd be pee-my-pants ecstatic just about now

With two days left at work I should be excited, but am surprised to find myself with mixed feelings.

I think it has to do with several reasons. One being Judge's work - he has to work a lot longer and more terrible hours than I've had to - and though he earns more than me overall when his bonuses are included, it's not by much or at all when comparing time and effort and headaches (literally). And worst thing about it is he's truly miserable there.

His miserability has to do with the fact we value family time more than money (as in there should be a balance, which at this time there isn't), and I think also because of the fact that Norway is an option - Norway, with it's short work-days, generous vacation times, and other wonderful benefits. Kind of hard to feel good about working 12-14 hour days under those kind of circumstances. Also makes it difficult for me to be too excited about being done my job as he's struggling so much with his - would be kind of rubbing it in his face if I danced and sang about finally being done such a cushiony job as I've had here.

Another reason I think I have mixed feelings is because Judge feels a lot of financial pressure right now, with my income disappearing. As it stands his salary and bonuses would be more than enough for us to continue building up our little nest-egg (and I plan on continuing my editing business from home, but to be honest I'm not sure how much time, energy and inspiration I will have to put in - this we shall see), but we're not just covering us three. I've done the calculation though, and we can cover our current burden fine for long enough, so I'm ok with how it currently stands. Judge would prefer we not have to give up our entire savings though ;)

In any event, for me and Judge the economic need for a second salary is not strong enough at this point (or in the coming years we believe) to trump one of us staying home with baby-girl.

Baby-girl, who will be arriving within the next three-to-seven weeks! Now THAT is something both me and Judge are pee-our-pants ecstatic about.

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met my birth doctor today

Today we drove up and had our first visit with the doctor that will deliver our baby girl, after which we stopped by the birthing center where she'll be born.

I have to say, the experience was so very extremely different than it has been seeing my regular pregnancy doctor down here. Sure, the drive was over 1 hr longer than we usually have to do. Sure, we couldn't find parking too close so had to walk a few blocks (this clinic is not where we'll give birth though, so no biggy). But not only was the wait amazingly shorter (despite the fact our doctor got called away for a quick surgery upstairs!), but the consultation was amazingly more comfortable as well.

Has all to do with the philosophy of the birthing center. I went over my birth preferences with the doctor, and she was 100% ok with all of my raised points, of which many are options/standard at the birthing center, while my doctor down here has said we'd have to sign waivers, or that this-that-or-the-other is hospital policy, and always makes me feel like we're in a total rush and there's no time to discuss and my requests are unreasonable sometimes (or unmedical at the least) - that I would not be willing to listen to her even if it was a medical emergency, etc.

Our birth-doctor however was calm, encouraging, understanding, and the only tiny item was it seems she's not too familiar with using hypnosis during child-birth, but it doesn't phase me at the least (I have Judge and Angie - my doula). AND she did our ultrasound herself.

At the birthing center we got to sit down with a nurse and I got to ask her what the standard procedures are for checking in, during delivery, and after. I know I could have just asked Angie since she's helped with births there tons of times and is familiar with everything and all the procedures, but I wanted to hear it more from the nurses' perspectives, so that I could know more what points I wanted to go over with Angie and set up a 'game plan' (though most often the nurses just leave the couple alone except for some check-ins and monitorings until Angie goes and gets them, as they're used to working together).

From the visit I learned that the points that I will be asking Angie for special help and advocacy about are limiting internal checks to zero or one (why internal exams are unnecessary - this wasn't the original link I wanted to give, but I can't find the other really good one at the moment), figuring out how to deal with the intermittent fetal monitoring (nurse said 30 min per hour..I'd like 20 min max, and if possible to be mobile), and that I don't want them telling me when and how hard to push. The rest are all options in the standard tick-and-submit birth plans they provide to us - including items I haven't even specified on my preferences (ie music and scents). Super impressed!

At the birth center we also got to see three freshly born bebes resting in the baby-holding area - so super tiny and cute.

After the birth center we had lunch with Judge's best bud from his military days, and then we picked up a sleek 2nd hand pack-and-play for cheap.

All in a Taipei's day-trip.


Here're my birth preferences - most of which would have to be a fight or signed wavers at a regular hospital:

General Environment

·        I would like my labor room to be quiet and calm

·        I would prefer no overhead ‘spot-lights’ (if necessary, handheld spotlighting preferred)

·        Please refrain from references to pain

·        Please direct questions to Judge (my husband) or Angie (my doula) or wait until between birthing waves to address me

Labor/Delivery

·        I wish to have continuous labor support from Judge (my husband) and Angie (my doula)

·        I wish to walk, move around, and change positions throughout my labor, and determine what the best position to labor and deliver in is

·        I wish to not be administered an IV unless medically necessary

·        I wish to eat and drink as desired during labor

·        Please conduct intermittent monitoring only, no more frequently than every 20 minutes per hour

·        Please perform exams or procedures only with my permission

·        I do not wish to have internal exams unless there is a medical reason

·        I intend to avoid all* interventions unless there is a medical reason and assurance that they are safer than the low-tech alternative or doing nothing

·        Please do not offer medications or labor augmentation

Delivery

·        I wish to direct my own pushing – no counting or commanding

·        No routine episiotomy – we will use warm compresses and/or olive oil

·        Cord cutting AFTER the cord has stopped pulsating only

·        Placenta to be expelled by me on my own (no cord traction or manual removal)

Post-Delivery Wishes

·       No mouth or nose suction unless medically required

·        Immediate skin-to-skin contact

·        No rough rubbing/’get baby to cry’ handling unless medically required

·        No routine pit administered to me

·        Baby not to leave us unless medically urgent and discussed with us

·        I plan on feeding baby breast milk only

·        Vit K and prophylactic eye ointment to be done after initial bonding time, when requested by me (a gentle reminder is welcome if I for some reason forget~)

·        Heel stick preferably performed at around 48 hrs after birth

·        Baby to be bathed (in room with me) only after requested by me

*Including but not limited to:

·        Stripping of membranes

·        Manual breaking of waters

·        Pitocin or other labor/contraction inducing drugs (1^st, 2^nd and 3^rd stage labor)

·        Episiotomy

·        C-section

·        Tummy pressure

·        Managed 3^rd stage labor (i.e., cord traction)

As I will complete the tick-and-submit birthplan as well, I will be including NO for having an enema administered and being shaved (both of which are standard procedures in regular hospitals here, as are epistomies and most of the other items on my 'including but not limited to' list; including the very small item of that if there is not 1cm dilation progress per hour they will suggest a c-section due to 'failure to progress' - I got the hand-out about this at my last doctor's visit down here).

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a little bulbul

Anyone who knows me knows I love animals in general, small animals in particular, and birds especially. This love of birds has rubbed off on Judge as well - and seeing him and O'Lime interact always makes me grin with joy. Adding his previous turtle and rabbit pets into the mix, we have decided in the future when we have a home of our own, we will have a pond outside where we can have turtles and ducks (because ducks are *cute!*), and we will have a rabbit and O'Lime (and perhaps a few more birds), and maybe a pot-bellied 'mini' pig somewhere in the mix.

Anyhow, today, during my lunch-break walk, I came upon a Chinese bulbul:

(it wasn’t this guy obviously - picture borrowed from here)

Bulbuls by the way seem to make great pets - every time I walk by the one close to my place or outside the beetlnut auntie's shop by a 7-11 in my old hood and whistle to them they get really excited, jump around in their cage and sing back. It is interesting how many common wild birds here are kept as pets - unfortunately there is this one small really cute kind that are often caught wild and kept in tiny, tiny cages as they sing so beautifully. Pretty terrible imho.

Back to my story: The bulbul in discussion didn’t have any flight feathers on one of it's wings. How did I notice this you ask? Well, naturally I often stop up and talk and whistle to the birds that are rummaging around in the leaves under the trees when I walk by them, and if one seems to be acting strange, I sit down for a while and study and talk'n'whistle to him until he flies off or there is some other reason I figure he’s fine.

So, as I was whistling to him I noticed one wing didn’t have any of those green feathers, and as I started following him, he didn’t fly away but rather jumpety-jumped away from me, though I got really close (made me think perhaps he used to be someone's pet). I sat down for a bit to contemplate what I should do, and watched him as he busily scavenged for food amongst the leaves and grass. I was thinking – should I throw my sweater over him and take him home so he can grow his flight feathers out and be safe?

But then I realized he’d probably be happier right were he was, with bushes to hide in, food to scavenge, and most importantly friends and freedom. I got up (after calling Judge to just talk it through with him as well), and headed off to complete my stroll and get back to the wonderful life that is dreadfully boring work (of which I only have 7 more work-days of - wooooooooooop!).

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at 7.5 months

It’s interesting. I don’t feel pregnant. As in, I thought I’d feel all heavy due to a big protruding belly and be off kilter, but I don’t notice my belly when I’m out and about at all. Except when I look down, or catch my reflection, or of course when baby girl moves (something she does a lot by the way…sometimes when I do kick-counts it takes me all of 1 min to get to 10). But that is noticing *her* more than the grandioseness of the belly.

[aforementioned grandioseness straight home from work]

The only real impact I feel pregnancy wise – besides getting up at night for a potty run – is that for the last little while I’ve been having a bit of pain down in the pelvic area when I stand up and when I walk. I believe it is the loosening of ligaments and pelvis et al and don’t mind it much. I am doing stretches, pelvic tucks, ‘hula’ circles, continuing to do my 30-45 min lunch walks (time depends on my energy and my comfort walking…distance is the same each time…in fact today it took me 50 min~~) etc., but it’s still pretty persistent, and usually intensifies in the afternoons after staid walks, perhaps because I don’t stretch when I get back to the office.

I also, for the first time, am careful about my posture. Of course for the past while I’ve already not been sleeping on my back, due to the whole baby-pressure-on-blood-supply to her and my legs, but there’s more to it than that. Having good posture when I’m sitting and standing during pregnancy is not only for my own regular good, but also important in terms of baby’s position (!). Makes total sense but just hadn’t thought about it: Gravity. Baby’s head is the heaviest, then her back, so if I have good posture and don’t slouch backwards when I’m sitting – but rather am kind of in a forward lean where my belly hangs out, then she should naturally get into a good position. Nifty! So ever since I found out about this, I no longer slouch in sofas and chairs and seats and and and. I miss slouching.

Another thing, I’m no longer quite sure about Braxton Hicks contractions. I realized I had them once in a while a month or more ago when we were at the doctor’s doing an ultrasound and I was laying down and my tummy was like a tight basketball. After that I noticed it again once in a while, usually only if I was laying down, once or twice by looking in the mirror, but lately I haven’t noticed any at all. I don’t think it means I’m not having them though, because that would be odd.

Overall, at 7.5 months I’m still overwhelmingly enjoying this journey! And savoring the scooter-driving freedom I still have, as well as these last few weeks of being – relatively – completely self-centered and the ease of life it provides. Judge and I want to head out and about? Easy-peasy, just up and go. Want to play mahjong during the Chinese new year’s eve after-dinner family gathering? We both can, whole-heartedly. Want to stay out a bit late? Not a problem. Not that we aren’t excited about the change that is coming, but I do think it’s important to savor our time right now as well. Just too bad Judge has had to fall into the Taiwanese work-rhythm of 9 pm (or later) home-comings.

[keeping me company with warbles while I wait for Judge]

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flashes of work

So at work I have pretty much gotten used to not really having much to do, and being ok with it. In the beginning I was always looking for work from my coworkers – seeing if there was something I could do to help them out, as I felt a bit guilty about not having every minute filled with work-related stuff. But after a while I realized my boss is happy with me, and that if I ask for more work for her for example, it will be shitty, boring things I really dislike doing, if she can think of anything at all, and so my days are ok just as they are.

My days basically consist of me sitting at my desk, and when the phone rings (my boss) I go over to take down her thoughts regarding an email and draft it for her, go through an email she’s drafted or I’ve drafted, go over a powerpoint presentation I’ve edited that someone else has drafted and she needs to present at the Board meeting, or take down notes/go over powerpoint presentations I’ve made for her for various reasons.

Then there are going over the email drafts from three of my other coworkers, going over internal monthly reports from accounting, and doing some translation work now and then translating business-legal Chinese to English (and sometimes Danish to English)…where I usually don’t understand squat and have to use the very helpful and accurate google translate (hah!) to slowly wade through it. And the one thing I do enjoy is related to setting up some reports in Excel for the Danish subsidiary we have.

Sometimes I get called in to meetings so I understand whatever is being discussed and can better edit the slides or create them myself, or just so I am informed as I sometimes have to be involved with correspondence etc., but I never know why I’m there at the start, and am always a bit lost. Yes, I have considered asking or bringing this point up, but really I don’t mind as my time here is short-term.

This happened today. It took me a little while to figure out what we were discussing, and then I knew I was there to be ‘informed’ as I’ve been helping my boss edit and draft emails regarding this particularly messy issue. Now, one thing that kept going through my mind while I was sitting there hearing my co-worker machine-gun off where we stood now and the steps necessary going forward, was that I actually understood like 80% of what was being said! Not only is it finance, banking, kind of legal stuff, but it’s in Chinese. The other thing that kept running through my mind was how amazed I was in respect to my coworker…that he understands all this intricate stuff. Made me feel like a high school student sitting in on a PhD lecture and discussion.

Most of the time, however, is spent reading blogs, researching stuff regarding pregnancy, birth and parenting, looking at my calendar, and waiting for end-of-day (lately I have had a lull in the researching department leading to this influx in blog posts...all or almost all pictureless, boooo~~).

Generally I don’t enjoy this job due to my tasks and responsibilities, and through being here I have learned another valuable lesson in terms of what I want in a job and the importance of clear communication up front. Seems it is we (I) often learn most when things are not as we wish they would be, otherwise we don’t know how good we have it. Or perhaps we learn from both, and have things confirmed about likes and dislikes when they aren’t to our likes~~.

However, I am very grateful for the job! If it wasn't for this job, I would still be teaching English, and this is waaaay better than that (for me), and has been perfect to tide me over until I take a month off (give or take) before giving birth and then staying home and taking care of baby-girl. Yay!

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