thought i'd be pee-my-pants ecstatic just about now

With two days left at work I should be excited, but am surprised to find myself with mixed feelings.

I think it has to do with several reasons. One being Judge's work - he has to work a lot longer and more terrible hours than I've had to - and though he earns more than me overall when his bonuses are included, it's not by much or at all when comparing time and effort and headaches (literally). And worst thing about it is he's truly miserable there.

His miserability has to do with the fact we value family time more than money (as in there should be a balance, which at this time there isn't), and I think also because of the fact that Norway is an option - Norway, with it's short work-days, generous vacation times, and other wonderful benefits. Kind of hard to feel good about working 12-14 hour days under those kind of circumstances. Also makes it difficult for me to be too excited about being done my job as he's struggling so much with his - would be kind of rubbing it in his face if I danced and sang about finally being done such a cushiony job as I've had here.

Another reason I think I have mixed feelings is because Judge feels a lot of financial pressure right now, with my income disappearing. As it stands his salary and bonuses would be more than enough for us to continue building up our little nest-egg (and I plan on continuing my editing business from home, but to be honest I'm not sure how much time, energy and inspiration I will have to put in - this we shall see), but we're not just covering us three. I've done the calculation though, and we can cover our current burden fine for long enough, so I'm ok with how it currently stands. Judge would prefer we not have to give up our entire savings though ;)

In any event, for me and Judge the economic need for a second salary is not strong enough at this point (or in the coming years we believe) to trump one of us staying home with baby-girl.

Baby-girl, who will be arriving within the next three-to-seven weeks! Now THAT is something both me and Judge are pee-our-pants ecstatic about.

.