Been a while since we visited the EC front.
For the longest time, we weren't really anywhere with the ECing. It had fallen pretty far off the map - not so much in my heart, but in practicality since I wasn't home with her all the time working on it part-time.
It had gotten to the point where I would still take her to the potty every time she signed, but her actually going then was far and few between. But rather than give up I just focused on no pressure on her, no stress on me, and just keeping it up at that very low-key level.
And then the last few months it has suddenly picked up drastically again. I think it may have to do with routines and decisions - meaning we follow her lead as much as we can in many respects, so that she has some control over her life. Also because she is so extremely clear in her communication, you can't really ignore her - or if you do ignore her you'd have to feel a bit bad about it I'd think.
So for the last while she lets us know she has to use the bathroom probably about 75% of the time she needs to use it during the day: She will pat her chest and look at us expectedly, then when we say lets go to the bathroom she runs to the bathroom with us, helps pull down her pants a little, dictates which utility she wishes to use (her potty or the little toilet-seat insert on the big toilet), if it's the toilet-seat insert she signs that she needs toiletpaper, so we tear off one square and give it to her, she sometimes pretends to blow her nose and then stuffs it down into the toilet, and when she's done she lets us know, we wash her bum and hands, stand her on the floor and pull up her pants, she dries her hands on the towel, often dries her mouth as well, and then walks out, closes the door, and on to the living room and pulls at the drawer where her changing pad and diapers are, we lay the changing pad down, she lays down semi-on it, and then we put her diaper on. Routine. Important.
The other 25% go in the diaper, and she will then often let us know she wants to change her diaper (pull at her diaper) and when we confirm with her, she runs over to the drawer and follows the system as above.
She doesn't go to the bathroom every time she says she has to, but a good 80% of the time she does I'd say.
Now, at 18 months, she's actually entered the golden age for potty training, so I have been toying with the idea. I know I want to do it now within the next four months before the golden age passes, but it's one of those things me and Judge have to have a good discussion about first, and make sure we're on the same page.
A few things may point to waiting a month or two is a good idea, as she cannot 100% control it - we have to help her with her clothes (this could be an easy fix: just let her wear pants), open the bathroom door (easy fix would be leave the potty outside the bathroom door - but it's not as nice an environment to do one's business)...and then she wouldn't be able to use the toilet-seat insert that she enjoys so much - so perhaps get a little step-up for her to climb up, but it is still a bit beyond her motor skills to be able to climb up, turn around and sit down on the toilet.
Another problem is, for example, sometimes I've put the potty in the windowsill so she can sit there and look out, and she has decided she's done or wants to move somewhere else, and if I am not close by she just tears the potty from under her, where if there was something inside it would basically be flung out across the entire room.
We could of course do day-time full-time EC, meaning diaper-free, and just continue as we are now, following her lead but being an active part in the process, and then as her motorskills develop hand the entire process over to her.
Again, something to discuss~~
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Friday, November 2, 2012
Thursday, November 1, 2012
well into the first trimester
Every baby is different thus every pregnancy and birth is different as well. This we all know.
For me this time around, the pregnancy is a lot tougher than I remember the last one being. I basically lay on the couch from when I get home from work a little after 1pm until I shower and go to bed with Leona around 6:30-7:00. Can't really eat dinner, and if I do, it ends up coming out again - which actually lets me feel a bit better for a short while, making me almost wish I threw up more often, just so I could have a reprieve of the feeling-oh-so-sick'ness. Almost. And even with 30% sick leave last week I ended up taking all of Friday off because after four days of working I was just feeling too ucky ... thus I asked my doctor to increase my percentage to 40% this week.
Sometimes I find myself questioning, however, whether I really feel this bad or if I feel this bad because I can. I mean, if I was in Taiwan right now, working (hypothetically of course, as if we were still in Taiwan I'd be the stay at home parent), without the opportunity to have this kind of sick leave, would I just make it work? Hard to say, but the discomfort is most definitely real, and the opportunity to easily go on as large a percentage of sick leave as necessary most definitely appreciated.
Also appreciated is Judge taking care of Leona while I just lay around, and him making me delicious lunches to take with me to work, so that I can eat a good, full meal. Can't imagine feeling this bad and having to take care of a toddler and a home at the same time.
So really, life is good, despite the ugginess.
And tomorrow I head to the doctor's for my first pregnancy check-up. Am looking forward to the compare-and-contrast with my Taiwan experiences two years ago!
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For me this time around, the pregnancy is a lot tougher than I remember the last one being. I basically lay on the couch from when I get home from work a little after 1pm until I shower and go to bed with Leona around 6:30-7:00. Can't really eat dinner, and if I do, it ends up coming out again - which actually lets me feel a bit better for a short while, making me almost wish I threw up more often, just so I could have a reprieve of the feeling-oh-so-sick'ness. Almost. And even with 30% sick leave last week I ended up taking all of Friday off because after four days of working I was just feeling too ucky ... thus I asked my doctor to increase my percentage to 40% this week.
Sometimes I find myself questioning, however, whether I really feel this bad or if I feel this bad because I can. I mean, if I was in Taiwan right now, working (hypothetically of course, as if we were still in Taiwan I'd be the stay at home parent), without the opportunity to have this kind of sick leave, would I just make it work? Hard to say, but the discomfort is most definitely real, and the opportunity to easily go on as large a percentage of sick leave as necessary most definitely appreciated.
Also appreciated is Judge taking care of Leona while I just lay around, and him making me delicious lunches to take with me to work, so that I can eat a good, full meal. Can't imagine feeling this bad and having to take care of a toddler and a home at the same time.
So really, life is good, despite the ugginess.
And tomorrow I head to the doctor's for my first pregnancy check-up. Am looking forward to the compare-and-contrast with my Taiwan experiences two years ago!
[Taken today at noon on my way home from work]
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Thursday, October 18, 2012
speaking of socialistic goodness - and an ultrasound
This past week I've been feeling worse and worse come noon about, and by the time I am home from work, all I can do is lay on the couch until dinner's ready, eat, take a shower and go to bed with Leona around 6:30-7:00 pm.
On Monday our company's nurse was in Tromsø for her monthly two-days, and I asked her first thing in the morning about how it is with my company and pregnant employees, as I was newly pregnant - and hadn't told anyone at work yet. She said they do everything they can to try and make us feel unstressed and as not-tired as possible, so as long as I felt ready and comfortable to tell my boss, she encouraged me to, so that my workload could be adjusted and I could take as many breaks as I needed throughout the day. The big aim is that I not go on sick-leave (as being pregnant is not a sickness but a great joy).
So told HR and my boss, and all went well, but was still feeling terrible in the afternoons, so yesterday asked our nurse what she suggested, and she said I could go to my doctor to be put on partial sick-leave.
So that I did this morning, as thankfully my doctor had drop-in hours today.
Not only was I put on 30% sick-leave starting today (meaning I can work 2:15 hours less each day, and get paid for those hours from the State), but she also sent me to a privat OBGYN for an ultrasound, as I told her I had had some fresh-blood bleading this morning (which I know is relatively common in the first trimester, but is still disconcerting when it happens).
So called the OBGYN on my way to work, got an appointment today for 11:20, so when I got to work just picked up my computer, told my boss I was taking a self-decreed sick-day all day, and home I went.
The ultrasound experience was quite different than in Taiwan. First off, you actually only get one ultrasound in Norway, at around 17 weeks, and you can waive your right to it if you wish. In Taiwan, if you recall, it was part of the routine at every check-up, and if we wanted to waive our right, it would cause tons of trouble.
Second, we only had to wait 10 min, and the doctor even appologized for being behind schedule (in Taiwan we would usually have to wait longer, and the wait was expected). Third, they didn't even attempt an external ultrasound due to me saying I was 7 or 8 weeks along only. And fourth, there was no flimsy paper curtain across my stomach to shield me from watching the OBGYN work.
In any event, a little bean was found on the screen, with a flickering heartbeat as well, and all looked to be a-ok.
What a sigh of relief!
The doctor measured the baby to be at around 6 weeks and 4 days, whereas by my calculation s/he should be around a week older than that, so really our estimated range of arrival doesn't shift too much actually. And who knows, our next ultrasound in a couple months may give a different result, as these ultrasounds aren't exactly exact.
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On Monday our company's nurse was in Tromsø for her monthly two-days, and I asked her first thing in the morning about how it is with my company and pregnant employees, as I was newly pregnant - and hadn't told anyone at work yet. She said they do everything they can to try and make us feel unstressed and as not-tired as possible, so as long as I felt ready and comfortable to tell my boss, she encouraged me to, so that my workload could be adjusted and I could take as many breaks as I needed throughout the day. The big aim is that I not go on sick-leave (as being pregnant is not a sickness but a great joy).
So told HR and my boss, and all went well, but was still feeling terrible in the afternoons, so yesterday asked our nurse what she suggested, and she said I could go to my doctor to be put on partial sick-leave.
So that I did this morning, as thankfully my doctor had drop-in hours today.
Not only was I put on 30% sick-leave starting today (meaning I can work 2:15 hours less each day, and get paid for those hours from the State), but she also sent me to a privat OBGYN for an ultrasound, as I told her I had had some fresh-blood bleading this morning (which I know is relatively common in the first trimester, but is still disconcerting when it happens).
So called the OBGYN on my way to work, got an appointment today for 11:20, so when I got to work just picked up my computer, told my boss I was taking a self-decreed sick-day all day, and home I went.
The ultrasound experience was quite different than in Taiwan. First off, you actually only get one ultrasound in Norway, at around 17 weeks, and you can waive your right to it if you wish. In Taiwan, if you recall, it was part of the routine at every check-up, and if we wanted to waive our right, it would cause tons of trouble.
Second, we only had to wait 10 min, and the doctor even appologized for being behind schedule (in Taiwan we would usually have to wait longer, and the wait was expected). Third, they didn't even attempt an external ultrasound due to me saying I was 7 or 8 weeks along only. And fourth, there was no flimsy paper curtain across my stomach to shield me from watching the OBGYN work.
In any event, a little bean was found on the screen, with a flickering heartbeat as well, and all looked to be a-ok.
What a sigh of relief!
The doctor measured the baby to be at around 6 weeks and 4 days, whereas by my calculation s/he should be around a week older than that, so really our estimated range of arrival doesn't shift too much actually. And who knows, our next ultrasound in a couple months may give a different result, as these ultrasounds aren't exactly exact.
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parental leave in Norway
The other day [a couple weeks ago] I did some research about maternity leave-n-pay in Norway. Here's the scoup:
The next big question - as we are planning on moving to China next fall - was how it works if we move out of the country while I'm still in the midst of my leave. Answer was 'makes now difference where you are in the world, you continue to get paid the same as long as you qualify by working 6 of the 10 months before you give birth'.
And thus the calculating began, and when I was through I was giddy with joy...and then a second later felt ashamed of my giddiness, because 'money is just material' and isn't supposed to bring us joy right? If it gives us joy then we're attached and focused on it, no?
But hey, that's how I roll. The security money brings makes me happy. In fact it's one of the big reasons I wanted to give birth here, to be able to partake in the socialistic goodness both pre- and post-birth (pre-birth being if I feel unwell I can take paid leave and feel no qualms about it).
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- You get a total of 47 weeks at 100% pay or 57 at 80% pay
- You earn up vacation time on the first 12 weeks of the leave when you take 100%, or 15 weeks if you take 80% pay
- Leave usually begins 3 weeks before your due date
- If you choose to work longer or if you give birth before your due date, you lose those days (meaning there is set a maximum of weeks, but there could three weeks less if you for example for some reason worked right up until your birth)
- You can have your leave start as early as 12 weeks before your due date, but the total is still then 47 weeks
- Because Judge isn't working and won't have worked long enough after we give birth, 100% of the weeks go to me
The next big question - as we are planning on moving to China next fall - was how it works if we move out of the country while I'm still in the midst of my leave. Answer was 'makes now difference where you are in the world, you continue to get paid the same as long as you qualify by working 6 of the 10 months before you give birth'.
And thus the calculating began, and when I was through I was giddy with joy...and then a second later felt ashamed of my giddiness, because 'money is just material' and isn't supposed to bring us joy right? If it gives us joy then we're attached and focused on it, no?
But hey, that's how I roll. The security money brings makes me happy. In fact it's one of the big reasons I wanted to give birth here, to be able to partake in the socialistic goodness both pre- and post-birth (pre-birth being if I feel unwell I can take paid leave and feel no qualms about it).
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the eleventh hour
Ever since about mid-May, our plan has been to return to Taiwan - for a month or so and then on to China - at the end of January 2013.
That meant that I would have to hand in my letter of resignation at the end of September (!) as in Norway it is standard to require three months' notice and that it is as per the end of the month the resignation is submitted. September and not October as I want to not be working when Judge's parents come visit the last two weeks before our departure.
That would also mean we'd have to notify the landlord we were moving by the end of October.
If you remember, all this not sticking it out a reasonable time but just up and leaving was really making me feel a bit unwell - and worried how it may end up affecting me in the future if we ended up not taking on Judge's dad's business, as that would mean I would once again be applying for a job somewhere, sometime. And I was especially feeling all flighty because my new manager is so incredibly focused on long-term employees (like totally off-the-wall obsessed with it I have come to feel, which makes me take it all with a larger grain of salt than I was previously able to do).
Anyhow, in my 'about mid-May' blurb I had mentioned a potential other path down the 'if-then' decision tree that could lead us to staying until summer of 2013. To be honest I totally don't remember what that alternate path was, but think it may have been if we got pregnant in time.
In time being before I had to hand in my letter of resignation I think.
See, we've been trying to get pregnant pretty much since we arrived in Norway, as a huge dream of mine has been to be pregnant and give birth here to not only experience it within 'my country', and most likely have a very different (not necessarily better, different) experience than in Taiwan, but also enjoy all the socialistic wonderfulness that comes with it - especially the earning my salary for 10 months while staying at home with the younguns.
But every 4-6 weeks I've been just as disappointed, and the stress in me has grown and grown. I mean, I have of course tried to feel light and casual and unstressed about it, but for some reason (hah) I just wasn't super successful at it. Partially due to my dream, and partially due to the stress being amplified when I thought about the alternatives: (1) Giving birth in China (something I totally do not feel confident about ... perhaps as I have not looked into how it is there), and (2) Flying to Taiwan when I was 7 months along, and then staying at my in-laws until 1 or 2 months after the birth as we haven't bought our own house in Taiwan yet. For me, not having my own space during such a sensitive and emotional time is what would kind of freak me out when I thought about it. I mean, I think I am truly western in this respect.
To add to the mix of it, you may have seen that I wrote 'every 4-6 weeks'. So come August 22nd and comethe disappointment my period, it meant either that we had one try left, or potentially none, as if it was going to be a 6 weeker we'd find out we were pregnant in basically the thirteenth hour - a few days after I had handed in my letter of resignation. I didn't even want to think about the decision process/alternatives if that happened.
Just so happens that it was in the eleventh hour that first I was once again crushingly disappointed. The disappointment lasted all of 6 hours, where then hope started to bud, and then 9 hours later (in the morning) my hope was confirmed: We're awaiting another bundle of joy end of May/beginning of June. Ecstatic dance!
That meant that I would have to hand in my letter of resignation at the end of September (!) as in Norway it is standard to require three months' notice and that it is as per the end of the month the resignation is submitted. September and not October as I want to not be working when Judge's parents come visit the last two weeks before our departure.
That would also mean we'd have to notify the landlord we were moving by the end of October.
If you remember, all this not sticking it out a reasonable time but just up and leaving was really making me feel a bit unwell - and worried how it may end up affecting me in the future if we ended up not taking on Judge's dad's business, as that would mean I would once again be applying for a job somewhere, sometime. And I was especially feeling all flighty because my new manager is so incredibly focused on long-term employees (like totally off-the-wall obsessed with it I have come to feel, which makes me take it all with a larger grain of salt than I was previously able to do).
Anyhow, in my 'about mid-May' blurb I had mentioned a potential other path down the 'if-then' decision tree that could lead us to staying until summer of 2013. To be honest I totally don't remember what that alternate path was, but think it may have been if we got pregnant in time.
In time being before I had to hand in my letter of resignation I think.
See, we've been trying to get pregnant pretty much since we arrived in Norway, as a huge dream of mine has been to be pregnant and give birth here to not only experience it within 'my country', and most likely have a very different (not necessarily better, different) experience than in Taiwan, but also enjoy all the socialistic wonderfulness that comes with it - especially the earning my salary for 10 months while staying at home with the younguns.
But every 4-6 weeks I've been just as disappointed, and the stress in me has grown and grown. I mean, I have of course tried to feel light and casual and unstressed about it, but for some reason (hah) I just wasn't super successful at it. Partially due to my dream, and partially due to the stress being amplified when I thought about the alternatives: (1) Giving birth in China (something I totally do not feel confident about ... perhaps as I have not looked into how it is there), and (2) Flying to Taiwan when I was 7 months along, and then staying at my in-laws until 1 or 2 months after the birth as we haven't bought our own house in Taiwan yet. For me, not having my own space during such a sensitive and emotional time is what would kind of freak me out when I thought about it. I mean, I think I am truly western in this respect.
To add to the mix of it, you may have seen that I wrote 'every 4-6 weeks'. So come August 22nd and come
Just so happens that it was in the eleventh hour that first I was once again crushingly disappointed. The disappointment lasted all of 6 hours, where then hope started to bud, and then 9 hours later (in the morning) my hope was confirmed: We're awaiting another bundle of joy end of May/beginning of June. Ecstatic dance!
[Our first family-of-four photo taken the day we found out]
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Friday, October 12, 2012
hard to dig up inspiration
Knowing you're at a job for just a relatively short time longer, especially when it is a job that not only is still a bit vague but also doesn't spark much interest for you, makes it mighty hard to find a sense of passion or a sense of wanting to try to really get in to it.
I am therefore really looking forward to eventually having a job again that is challenging, interesting, and fun! Until then I can at least enjoy the decidedly good parts of Norway with ma family:
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I am therefore really looking forward to eventually having a job again that is challenging, interesting, and fun! Until then I can at least enjoy the decidedly good parts of Norway with ma family:
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a perfect example
Not to generalize (ha!) but here is the epitomizational example of a difference I have seen and felt a bit this past year in terms of parenting in Norway and Taiwan:
As we were walking along the lake, we saw this kid - maybe 8 (I have totally no clue) who had climed out on the branch that was reaching over the water. He was hanging, working on climbing back up top to a less precarious position, obviously struggling quite a bit physically but very positive about it, and about 15-20 meters away his parents were calmly sitting on a bench, with an eye on him of course, but mainly just chatting together, not a word of 'careful' or guidance or anything, just letting him do his thing, just trusting him.
I, on the other hand, had tiny tinglings of nervousness for him :P
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As we were walking along the lake, we saw this kid - maybe 8 (I have totally no clue) who had climed out on the branch that was reaching over the water. He was hanging, working on climbing back up top to a less precarious position, obviously struggling quite a bit physically but very positive about it, and about 15-20 meters away his parents were calmly sitting on a bench, with an eye on him of course, but mainly just chatting together, not a word of 'careful' or guidance or anything, just letting him do his thing, just trusting him.
I, on the other hand, had tiny tinglings of nervousness for him :P
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