and then she was four

This year is the first time that we've actually had a real build-up to a birthday, in that Leona is now more aware of time/days, for one, as well having more of a focus on being 'big' or getting 'bigger'. The previous birthdays have kind of gone unnoticed, or at least unanticipated.

The last while she's been very focused on that things she's not keen on doing now, she may be ok with when she's four, with each such statement always followed by an 'agush' (I guess) and 'maybe'. Like starting preschool (being ok with staying there with just the aunties and other kids, and not one of us).

[We're not signing her up for a start in the fall this year, though I think she could be ready by then...we've decided to wait until we have a steady income as though the cost isn't huge, it would be a big chunk of our current budget; this is something Leona knows, but she still talks about maybe being ok with starting, if the opportunity should arize].

Of course, talking about birthdays, she is always mentioning how she is going to eat ice cream on her birthday (and on all our birthdays...first hers, then mine, then maybe Cedrik's - depending on when he is born, then Eliana's, and then Judge's). And when we went and bought ice cream in preparation for her impending birthday about a week and a half before the big day, the focus shifted hugely onto its near proximity.

She started to mention daily that she was turning 4 in so-and-so many days, and that she was going to eat ice cream and cake, and make a present 'agush, maybe, probably, I think so' (I had told her that we had bought a present for her, and so since she doesn't yet have a concept of what presents are really, but remembered that there was some link between her birthday and a present, this is what she came up with, since we usually make special-day cards together as well as cake and cookies, etc.).

And as the day got closer, the frequency of her mentioning her turning four, becoming a big girl, and all that jazz, increased exponentially.

Towards the end she had set up this plan for her birthday eats:

• There was no mention of birthday waffles, as they have waffles about 4-5 days a week, if not more often lately, but rather whole-wheat Cheerios for breakfast, as that is a real treat for them.
• The mid-morning snack was to be yogurt
• Lunch was to be fresh baked bread (I ended up opting for finish-bake bread...the kind that is half done and you pop in the oven for 8-12 minutes to finish up)
• After lunch, while Eliana was napping, she was going to eat the lollipop a store clerk had given her a few days earlier (she's never had a lollipop before, nor any other kind of candy-type-stuff like that)
• After Eliana woke up they were going to have ice cream and cake - strawberry upon her request
• And for dinner she wanted fresh baked pizza (we haven't had it in a long time - earlier we had it once a week)

The evening before her birthday I brought the second-hand retro doll house out from hiding that we had won through an online bidding war, wiped and washed it down, and set it up on the corner table by her spot at the dining table.

[the furniture is super detailed, with all cabinets and drawers openable...the people that came with were a bit creepy so I threw them out and just put the brio-train people in instead, which works really well both in size and in that she has already attributed each of us to each of them]

 

That night I heard her wake up around 2am, and lay there whispering to herself in Norwegian for about half an hour or more. I heard 'bursdag' (birthday) and 'spise is' (eat ice cream) a more than a few times, so I think I know what was on her mind ;)

We awoke to a light splattering of snow on the lawn and roofs, and Leona asked "Why did it snow on my birthday?!" - yes, she is very much still in the 'why' phase. Luckily the snow meldted within a couple hours.

 

She then saw the doll house - looked at it a bit and asked a few questions about it, and then joined Eliana at the table to munch on Cheerios that were prepped and waiting.






They then played with the doll house for quite a while, before I said they could watch a video if they wanted - Leona chose Totoro (and they had more Cheerios as a movie-snack), and I made some low-sugar sponge-cake-esque cupcake things, that were to be kind of like a Norwegian 'moist cake', using whipped cream and strawberries as the filling and decor. I actually used an apple cake recipe, reducing the sugar and adjusting the process and amounts of some of the ingredients, and of course didn't include the apples or cinnamon, and then baked them in muffin tins rather than as a cake, so that it was more portionable.

And then the day continued to proceed pretty much as she had planned.

[she had lunch while E was falling asleep...here finishing up chewing and swallowing her last bite, rinsing it down with some milk, before tasting the lollipop and coming up with a very satisfied 'it's gooood' through a smile; she spent about half an hour or more sitting there eating it contentedly]

[serious highlight of the day...made even better by the hot coco in their mugs - hot coco being something they tasted for the first time up at the cabin over Easter, and I got a free packet in the mail with my pregnancy training clothes that I recently bought online]

 

We had to head out for the girls to run off some of the sugar between the ice cream and cake eating (as well as give them time to digest a bit), and though it was gray and cold, the girls still enjoyed themselves in the puddles, especially.

[here E got tons of water in one of her boots...making me seriously consider investing in barnevaderen for the kids - boots welded to rainpants]

 

When they came inside again they took a bath, while I got the cakes ready.

[she blew out the candle after I sang the birthday song in Norwegian...E also had a candle to blow out, upon her own request]

 

The whole cake-eating didn't quite go as planned - Leona just took three tiny bites of the bottom layer, and Eliana had one bite that she spit out. I wasn't sure if it was they didn't really like it, or if they were just too full still.

[they were more into the hair-clips-with-colorful-extensions she got from my mom than the cake]

[Ends up that it really wasn't that they didn't like the cake per se, though they were maybe really not a big fan of the combination with the added embellishments, because this morning I warmed the muffins up a bit and added butter, and they gobbled down a ton.]

After the cake-eating they watched an episode each of three super awesome 'kid-TV' programs we have found on an NRK app (usually their limit is two...each episode is 10 min long), and then it was pizza time....which went down in a similar fashion as the cake-eating - a few bites each, and they were done.

[ketchup!! - a must on pizza and quesadillas and more]

And then the meltdowns started. Some serious business that. I can't imagine how it will be when they actually start attending birthday parties, with all the masses amounts of sugar and stimulation of all the games and kids running around and all. I mean, this whole day was just in our home, just us four, no real big variations to our routine, and the only real sugar was from the ice cream - and lollipop for L. I think the whole build-up of the birthday that Leona had created for herself was a big factor for Leona though...and for E I think it was the sugar, for sure, as she had a whole ice cream sandwich.

They didn't fall asleep until pretty late (9pm or so), but I was able to be very patient, as I knew I had brought it upon myself.

All in all it was a great day for Leona, I think.

She asked me, as we were laying in bed, whether some of her clothes were too small, and which ones - the thought behind the question being that she is now so big, four years old, that a lot of her clothes must be too small for her. Same as that throughout the day she would sometimes reach up on the bookshelf to help take down a book, and mention that she is so big now that she could just reach it without climbing on something first.

Cute as cute can be.


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it takes a village

...not only to raise a child, but to get a job in Norway. So thank goodness we actually live in one.

[Sure, we could surmise that if we lived in the city it could very well be a lot easier for Judge to get a job, but let's ... well, not, as who knows...this is Norway, where 80% of the jobs people get are gotten through their network].

Seriously. Last year I shared how the village looked out for us in terms of making sure we could apply for a preschool spot in time if we so desired (towards the end of this post).

This past month or two, we have once again been inundated with the care and helpfulness that abounds us.

For example, people are waiving me down from their home windows when we walk by, saying they stopped by our house but we were out, and that they have a bag of nicely used hand-me-downs for the girls if we're interested (ok, it happened just once, yesterday, but still), and offering us boy hand-me-downs if we're interested, when they find out we are expecting a boy (again, just happened once so far, today, but still).

Now, we already feel the love of close friends and family taking amazing good care of us, looking out for us, though they live various long distances away, and just that is sometimes quite overwhelming in and of itself for me (in a very make-you-feel-all-warm-and-loved kind of way)...I guess this is how it should be? But it is not something I expect or take for granted, and am constantly reoverwhelmed by it.

And this looking-out-for-us by mere acquaintances or less than acquaintances just adds to the wonderful overwhelmedness.

And that's just a fraction of what has been going on. The "village development committee" (VDC) has taken us under their wing, as I mentioned before. Over Easter break we met with two of them so they could gain an understanding of Judge's background and the type of job he wants to have and what he could be suitable for. During that meeting rather than say "ok, so we will call this and that person and then let you know what they said", they just got their phones out on the spot and made the calls, and thus through them using their network, Judge got a "language practice" position at a national corporation that has a production plant 30 min drive from here. First day will be tomorrow.

Sure he got it on his own merits by sending a strong cover letter and CV (and yes, I take partial credit here, and send thanks out to a good friend who gave us some sage advice as well) but more importantly by being his awesome self in the 1.5 hour spoken-all-in-Norwegian interview he had with the head of HR, head of operations, one other head-of-something, as well as a representative from NAV (government welfare/employment system), but the vital connections were made through the VDC - and I'm sure it doesn't hurt that the head of HR just happens to be a childhood friend of my oldest sister...as is everyone and their mother around here it seems.

This would be an awesome company for Judge to get a long term position at...though we are not holding our breaths, as that would mean someone would have to free up a position first (leave...or retire?) and who knows when that would be. But still. There is a lot of positive stuff that can come from this, not only increased language exposure but also another future local reference, which can make all the difference.

Little by little everything will fall into place. That's what we're feeling right now...and boy does it feel good.

[last night's sunset]

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self-care action plan

I've been facing a lack of energy and lack of umph to do anything about it for quite a while now. Part of it has had to do with it being hard to go for brisk walks with the girls, as the walk home the past year has tended to end in screaming because she doesn't want to walk more, unless I let her sit on the stroller (during winter months the single stroller can function as a double due to the winter bag fastened to the seat, and last summer she was light enough that she could sit on the front part where Eliana technically would rest her feet if her legs had been long enough).

[last spring]

[this winter - Leona is sitting in the winter bag]

[last summer, with L on the foot rest...notice the bike on the back of the stroller -

a sure sign that I chose to give in and let her catch a ride home]

We recently bought a double stroller for when Cedrik is born...but with my symphysis-pains pushing the double stroller with both of them in it up hills (which is a must if we are to get home) is not a viable option.

[test-driving the new stroller - happy as two peas in a pod]

 

I've taken some more steps to make it work for us now too.

First, I've talked with Leona about it, and this time she is on board with the fact that if she walks or rides her bike when we head out, she has to do it all the way home...she has actually not complained, cried, or gone on a strike, for the past couple weeks. I credit that to her being older now, as well as the weather being better, where she can ride her bike more, and not get all miserable with wind and rain; and that if the weather sucks I take the double stroller as long as we agree beforehand that she will walk up the hills herself.

I also went to see the midwife for the third time about a month ago, and she referred me to a program set up by the government for pregnant ladies who need help physically. It is a three-week program that runs once each month. The pregnant ladies have to be referred by the midwife, and then we each individually meet with the physiotherapist for half an hour to discuss our aches and pains, and our goals and motivations for what we want to get out of the program, so that she can make sure she can address it all during the course.

For me I said I hope to develop my body to diminish the symphysis pain I have, as in my last pregnancy I wasn't able to stand up or walk almost at all without shooting pain. I also want to not gain as much weight as I have in the past to pregnancies because I want to be in better shape so that I have the energy to be with and play with and take care of the girls up to Cedrik's birth, have the strength and energy to have an easier birth (than if I am just a blob of non-energy and non-strength), and also to recover faster after the birth.

What I had already started doing is cut out starches and sugar almost completely (started about a two weeks before I met with the physiotherapist), and wanted to start taking at least a 30 min walk each day no matter what, as well as do this training program and continue at home after.

Just telling the physiotherapist these goals and motivations helped solidify the umph in me to actually start doing it. And then sharing with Judge what I had discussed with her helped solidify it even more, especially because he is totally supporting me in it. Even though I have previously said I want to limit my starch intake, I have never asked him to make dinner without or with minimal amounts of starches for me, as I know it is a burdensome task, but since I told him, he has tweeked the dinners for me. He also helps get me out the door for walks in the evening if I haven't had the opportunity during the day, after the girls are asleep.

Another big deal is that Leona is now suddenly willing to walk past one of the milk farms that is along a good route for me to take, despite the fact that "it doesn't smell so good, mama" and "it's too noisy - I'm scared", so I can take them out for a walk together during the day, as long as she is riding her bike. If she is walking then it just doesn't count, as she is the meandering stroll kind of girl rather than a power walker.

It feels good. Feels amazing to be taking the training program (I've just been to the first class so far) -- to be doing this for me, as well as to actually be taking the walks every day and to be eating almost starch and sugar free.



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birth and postpartum floor tour

Yesterday morning I called the birthing floor at the hospital I will be giving birth at to see if there were any vacant birthing rooms that we could tour, so I could familiarize myself with the birthing environment. There was one vacant, so we jumped in the car and headed out on the 1.5 hour drive.

By the time we arrived Eliana had fallen asleep, and so Judge stayed with her in the car while Leona came with me.

(I thought about taking pictures to show Judge, but then figured 'nah').

They have a relatively new 'friendly birthing' room, with a regular bed, a birthing tub that one can give birth in if a midwife with water-birth knowledge is there (not all of them have received the training and experience yet), a great shower, and just really homey and comfortable decor. Unfortunately I am not allowed to birth there, due to the complication of having to manually extract the placenta last time...but I can use the tub during the opening phase if I wish (as long as there are no medical reasons for me not to).

So I will be giving birth in a regular birthing room, where they have a birthing bed set up. There is a good sized shower there too though, and of course there are options of a birthing ball, birthing stool, bean bag chair, etc. The decor isn't as homey, the bed makes it also feel more 'sterile', and so I am a bit bummed, but know that being able to adjust the bed has its benefits as well.

We're hoping to head home about 4 hours after the birth (after an oxygen-test has been run), but if for some reason we have to stay the night, then there are 4 four-person rooms (that usually don't have four people in them) and 3 single-person rooms that one can get to stay in, as well as one family room (and with family they mean husband). Usually moms stay 3 days I think, if they haven't had a c-section. We could also ask to be moved to a postpartum floor at the hospital closer to home (about an hour's drive) - this hospital doesn't have a birthing floor anymore. We'll see what our needs are, but the plan is to just head home.

After, we went shopping, and stumbled upon an amazing and free play area at the mall. And when I say amazing I mean A-mazing. It has a climbing wall, giant lego blocks to build houses with, a jungle gym area, and brain teasers, both four along a wall as well as a triangle 'station' where one side has a touch screen with various games or activities like drawing, popping bubbles that come up off the ocean floor and will kill the fish swimming across the screen, etc.

[starting on the foundation] 

[E helping out for a bit]

[almost finished house in the background] 

[while E has found a new focus]

 

After playing for a long time we hit up the Asian food store (an absolute must) and then headed home again.

Of course both girls fell asleep in the car on the way back, which lead to a looooong evening of them not falling asleep. Ah, the joy ;)



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NOK 51,000 later

That's how much it ended up costing Judge and I combined to get our driver's licences this time around. Not a pretty sum, and definitely not a petty sum, but somehow I'm not bitter about it, which is pretty impressive as I am not one who likes to spend money.

I think it is partially because that's just how it is here, and I've accepted that. And also because I actually learned something in every class I took during the program (this post outlines the mandatory courses).

Take my first driving lesson as an example - the one to see where my skills were at. Sat myself down in the driver's seat, and learned how to properly fasten a seat belt, as well as ensure the seat, steering wheel, safety belt height, and head rest height all were adjusted to best improve my safety in a collision. Yes, you read correctly, I learned how to properly fasten a seat belt. Sure I know to click it in, but to make sure the lap belt is as low on my belly/over my upper thighs as possible, ensure bulky jackets and sweaters are pulled out of the way, and pull on the shoulder strap so that the lap belt is as tight and snug as possible...never thought about it before.

In the first aid course I learned a trick to help ensure passed out people get the easiest air flow into their lungs as possible - being keep them in a sitting position with their head up, and gently apply pressure to the back of their jaws to push the lower jaw slightly forward (mouth is of course open at this point). Try it on yourself - loose jaw, push it forward, and suddenly the airflow improves a bunch.

In the 'driving when it's dark' class I learned the importance of reflective gear when walking along the road in the dark. Yes, I've known its importance before, but to really see what a huge difference it makes ... there were three cars with four students in each that drove out together, and on a dark patch of road one car drove on while two stayed behind. We were all standing outside looking at the other car, having to say if it was parking lights or low/high beam lights that were on, and then had to try to count how many roadside-marking sticks were between us and the other car...and it wasn't until the driver of the other car was about 20-30m close that we noticed him...he had slowly been walking toward us the whole time we were focusing on basically exactly where he was walking, without us seeing him at all (he wasn't wearing any reflective gear, obviously).

During this class I also learned the importance of not shutting off your high beam too early when meeting another car (due to the low beams only reaching 40 meters ahead while high beams reach 100 meters, so if you shut them down too early there's a huge dark patch on the road where something can be standing), and the importance of not looking at the oncoming car but keeping your eyes on the road (as you get kind of blinded by the light...it's natural to be drawn to looking at the car though).

During the slippery road driving class, I learned what a difference driving 32 km/h vs 28 km/h makes when hitting an ice patch (HUGE difference! slower is obviously much, much better), got to feel the car sliding out of control, the feeling of there being absolutely nothing I can do to gain control of the car if I was driving too fast, and learned the importance of not only making sure I wear a seat belt when I ride a bus (or car of course), but to make sure the person behind me also wears one (because if we crash, that's about a mass of a tonne or more that slams into my seat, very easily killing me).

During the long-distance/city driving course I got to practice slushy-road country driving as well as got to avoid a small group of deer that had wandered onto the road that early morning. I also got to practice the horrid Norwegian rule of "cars coming from roads on your right have the right of way, unless you are on a priority road". It's a ridiculous rule.

During the trip planning course (where we got a list of 23 spots around the town where we take the road test and had to use a map to plan the trip, as well as estimate time the trip would take and how much gas we would use) I got to become familiar with the road test environment, as each spot and each road are places we might head to on the test.

All in all it was a useful program, thank goodness!

And so it goes, on March 31, 2015, after an hour long road test, I became the joyful owner of a Norwegian driver's licence. We are thus now FINALLY both done this inconvenient process, and can sit back and relax for a bit. Yay!

Judge and the girls came along for the trip, and we celebrated with ice cream afterward, of course.

[It's Easter break now, and my cousin with his family came to visit and to hang at the cabin, and they brought a helmet for Eliana that her third cousin has grown out of. It instantly became her favorite fashion accessory.]

 

 

 

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the ongoing job hunt

Last week or so, I suddenly felt super depressed about the work situation for Judge. We've recently found the people in the village are looking out for us, as a childhood friend of Pippin asked if she could forward our contact info to a family construction company that is owned and run by a family in our village. My hopes started to soar - especially since Judge's interest in learning how to build houses has done a 180 since last winter when we first came back here from Taiwan - he's now super positive and open to the idea.

But when I called the guy a week or so later [i.e., last week] since I hadn't heard from him, and told him Judge was excited about this possibility of entering the field of construction, he was a bit taken aback, as he was under the impression that Judge came from within that field already; they aren't really looking for anyone to join their team at the moment, but wanted to meet with him to see if they should take him on anyways (again assuming he was experienced in the field). He said they're pretty busy right now, but that the manager was planning on calling us when it calms down a bit.

I was crushed, any hope of him getting a position there smashed asunder.

I proceeded to post a depressed status update on Facebook (something I never do), and another childhood friend of Pippin's said don't give up hope! Him and another guy - the newly elected head of our village development group - wanted to have coffee with us when he (Pippin's friend) came back from the North Sea to see about work-options. Five minutes later the doorbell rings and lo and behold it is the head of our village development group asking if he can come in for a chat (note: I am pretty positive he did not know anything about my status update).

Turns out at the last group meeting they had discussed the importance of reaching out to families like ours to see if there is anything they can help us with, as they want us to stay - and know that we want to stay but if Judge can't find a job we will have to move.

He suggested Judge apply at the energy company he works for that is located about a 45 min drive from here - and said he can be a reference for Judge (but he'd like to have a cuppa with him or something first so he gets to know him a bit). He suggested applying for the summer temp job there, as well as just send in an open application. He also shared some exciting ideas he has that I see myself as potentially being able to take part in, even if I am not heading back to the workforce just yet.

Then on Thursday I joined a group of kindergarten parents to sit in on a local government meeting that was going to determine the future of the kindergartens here and in the neighboring village (complicated case causing pretty negative discourse between the villages), and I caught a ride with the two guys who we are going to have coffee with and got to discuss a lot with them in the car.

And suddenly we have some really exciting options! I told them that Judge is planning on applying for a language practicant position at the energy company (basically work for free - can get NOK300/day from the government which will cover gas and lunch), so that he can gain experience within the engineering field here in Norway, work with people in Norwegian, expand his network, etc. Totally worth it for us even if it is for no pay for 6 months or so, or until he gets a job around here.

Pippin's childhood friend also gave us some incredibly awesome ideas. Instead of Judge heading back to university to get another Master's degree in two years (if he hasn't gotten a job around here by then) - meaning we would have to move to a city, he could take a vocational certification here through independent study, where this guy could get all the books for Judge to borrow from a friend of his, and then Judge would just have to take the theory tests when he was ready. Once that is complete he could much more easily get an apprentice position, and after two years he'd have Norwegian credentials, making it much easier to get a job here (and since he has a Master's degree already the fact that the credentials are vocational level isn't a drawback in terms of pay grade).

He also suggested Judge send an open application to the local dairy production plant about 30 min. away, where they need process engineers sometimes, so maybe a job there could crop up, and he could work on his accreditation while working...and we could stay here for many years to come.

Judge had also applied for summer jobs in the kitchens at the old folks' home here in the village as well as the other nearby old folks' home (in the village where he takes Norwegian classes). But a classmate of his who also lives in our village and who is related to people who work in the kitchen here has applied the past two years and not gotten a temp position there, so his hopes weren't high.

But last Friday, before we were able to apply to the energy company, we got a contract offer in the mail - no interview or anything, directly to contract, for a summer kitchen spot here in the village.

Hello good fortune!*

*We believe he got the job in the kitchen because this year is the first year the chef-line in the local vocational high school has been shut down. That means previously they had lots of educated trainees to choose from, while this year they do not.

This temp position is pretty much ideal, and I'm so excited about it. His commute is about 30 seconds shorter than when he was working on the production line last winter (assuming he rides the bike), meaning about 5 min or less. This means he doesn't have to take the car - saving time and money commute-wise as well as meaning the car is at my disposal. It means if I need him to come home on short notice - if Cedrik hasn't been born before he starts - it won't take him an extra 30-45 minutes just to get home. And it means he gets to work in a kitchen! Not his dream-restaurant kitchen job (there's one of those about an hour and a half from here, but they probably don't need uncredentialled kitchen assistants either...and we'd have to move there as the commute would be too far) but it gives him experience in a kitchen none the less, a huge dream of his, and best of all it is not long-term, so it gives him a taste without binding him to it longer term.

A while later I told Judge I suddenly felt like anything was possible...felt like we'd be soon notified that we'd won the lottery or something, and he said that he had actually thought we had won the lottery by my reaction when I opened the letter with the contract :P

With spring here, warmer days around the corner, a summer job for Judge, expanding networks, and new avenues to explore, the winter blues have really been expelled from the house. Thank goodness.

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another one bites the dust - and a keeper

On my list of names, I had forgotten to include the one from my current list that I had started on my phone...the list consisted of exactly one name, and not the name I had hinted toward in the name-game post.

The name: Evander.

Now doesn't that go pretty well with Leona and Eliana? So I say it in Norwegian first to Judge, and after initially saying "Didn't we already pick a name" and me explaining that no, we had a name on our potentials list that we could try out, but that we were still open for other options, he kind of starts nodding his head in 'yeah, that sounds like an option we could keep on the list'.

And then I say it in English (eh-VAN-der). "Vendor?" Judge asks. "It just makes me think of vendors from TSMC - no good."

Nono, I say, not ah-VEN-der, but eh-VAN-der.

"It's all the same to me, ah-VEN-der ah-VEN-der."

And thus another one bites the dust.

I think that leaves us with the one we had already started trying out as it's a gooder, and name-searching is draining. So, for now and maybe forever, his name is:

Some of you may have seen the hint on Instagram in another not-so-obvious picture-angle.

 

The name is old English and means leader, chief, warlord, or 'kind and loved', depending on what website you look at; we are still toying with which spelling we would use.

 

 

 

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