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I am sitting here at home writing this at almost 1pm, with a quiet house and just Cedrik on my lap. Eliana is in Stryn with Judge, and Leona - well, she is at kindergarten by herself.
[on our way to kindergarten today, Leona mentioned that the mountain has turned red...doesn't show super well in the picture, but yes, fall has arrived]
That is right, folks. The first week she made a new friend on Wednesday (her second day at kindergarten), which meant she had one girl she was not scared of (she said she was still a little scared of all the teachers and other kids).
The following Monday morning she first hung by my side, but one of the teachers was able to have her willingly and skippingly take her hand and go check something out together. Then later she had been riding a tricycle and fell over, and since I was nearest her I went over and started holding her (she was crying at first) and then one of the teachers came over, and after a short moment I let the teacher take over (she wasn't crying anymore) and pulled back to the bench-table I had been sitting at. Leona didn't call me back, and the teacher was able to talk to her a bit more about it and then take her hand and walk off to play. Huge step. Big achievement.
On the following Wednesday (week 2) the teacher mentioned to me that she's doing really good, as she had been independently playing with the kids almost the whole time, that it had progressed fast (though she was still not cool with me wanting to take a walk with Cedrik around the block). I told her, well, sure if you consider about a year and a half fast (as that is how long we've been going there for an hour or so one to two times a week). Ah, right [realization that it is truly a careful child we're talking about here].
After two weeks (but only four days) of her not being ok at all with the thought of being alone there even for a minute, I was wondering how long I was willing to continue like this. Judge and I had discussed that when it happened it would happen fast, like it has before, we were sure, so it was a question of if we were willing to spend as long as it would potentially take (I was pretty tired of it already, staying there trying to be away from her and out of the way from play, sometimes with a Cedrik who was restless).
A teacher had also asked me whether or not we were ok with her crying a little. I said that would just defeat the purpose, be counter productive, as it would make her not want to go at all. The reason she was unwilling to let me leave is that she did not feel safe with them, not that she necessarily was stuck with the idea that I had to stay with her at all times.
But this week there were suddenly huge changes. On Monday she first just ran off to play the moment we went outside after the inside-time in the morning, rather than hanging with me and Cedrik like she had the previous Monday, and later she agreed to me going for a walk with Cedrik while she was inside having lunch.
On Wednesday I went and sat at the school in the sun for an hour or so and read a book while Cedrik napped (she could have technically seen me if she had needed to) before heading back before lunch and telling her I was going to come back a while after lunch if she was ok with that. She was, and so I went to the store and stopped by my aunt. And she made another friend (but was still too scared of the adults to talk with them on her own accord). When I came to get her the teacher said she had been fine the whole time and hadn't asked for me - and this is something I know, as long as she feels safe, then she is happy and doesn't need me by her side.
And today. Today we agreed she would see how she felt when we arrived in the morning - if she felt ok with me going home and then coming back to get her in the afternoon. When we arrived and I asked her, she said "maybe," and I told her that it was her choice, she had to say clearly yes or no, and though I could see she was a little hesitant or scared, she took the courage to say yes.
So I spoke with one of the teachers with Leona, she told us about the plan for the day and I told her our agreement - that if Leona decided she needed me they would call me and I would come immediately, or if she started feeling sick (she got a soar throat yesterday and a bit of a runny nose).
And then home I went!
Now I am about to get ready to go pick her up. What a huge achievement for Leona. Seriously.
[taken on the way home. the sheep are back from their summer on the mountain]
Epilogue: She said she was a little scared this morning after I left, but that it was ok, and that she is still a little scared of the teachers, but that she made a few new friends. She also didn't want to leave when I came, so I went and read for half an hour at a table at the school, and then when she still didn't want to leave (she was playing in the mud kitchen with her first new friend) we agreed on five more minutes.
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